And in readiness for the Oo Es of Eh and prompted by an Italian guide on such matters we bring you Holidos and Don’ts – tipping.
A tip first of all is a contract To Insure Promptness and our American friends certainly provide that.
We have all seen cab drivers hurl luggage down at a measly tip or God forbid none at all.
While even of you have just got out of the Uber in the dodgiest and wrong part of Washington DC you are expected to open your wallet.
Tipping 100%
But what percentage of your bill should you give your service provider?
Well from experience a fifth of your tariff will elicit a warm wide smile and priority the next time you seek custom.
And so as not to look foreign, or worse, mean work it out beforehand so you’re not scrabbling around for notes.
Boston a gut
The rule of thumb too is that every service provider is entitled to your extra gratuity.
Even if you are that gormless inexperienced 21-year-old waiter getting your order wrong.
At the Black Rose Irish bar in Boston.
Now every American service provider knows the drill.
And that it is tips that make the job viable.
Everybody you would think, apart that is Faceache.
The Tragic Bus (Boy)
One of our waitress bosses at the sadly departed Guadalaharry’s Mexican restaurant by Quincy Market, Boston.
When we worked as Bus Boys, the lowest rung of the hospitality sector.
The convention for clearing the tables while the waiters schmoozed was widely accepted to be 10 per cent of their overall tips.
Which of course, said Faceache, and no I can’t remember her real name, ignored.
What was free, as well as Nachos which I have hence gone off for life, were the daily putdowns.
And getting called ‘Biafra’ on account of my then svelte figure.
All of which would have been helped with a healthy cut of her tips which I had helped win.
Customer is always right
Those post-university experiences and my cousins running bars and diners in New York has led me to value the American tipping culture.
And it does work too as we witnessed first hand when our table were given free drinks on the eve of Cousin Eddie’s wedding.
Because of our extended wait.
Our American friends and family, of course, expect similar courtesy when they visit foreign shores.
A Brit of a lesson
But alas, at least here on our shores it can be erratic at best.
Which is when my formidable Auntie Kathleen, daughter of Donegal turned Queen of Queens hospitality would come in.
Reminding staff on these shores of the Holidos and Don’ts – tipping.
And what she would require for herself and her party if they did not meet her standards.