So when the British decided to send Napoleon to somewhere he couldn’t escape from, they chose a marathon trip to St Helena in the South Atlantic.
After all the drama of his life before Old Boney would have been forgiven for being quite at peace in the remote island south-west of modern-day South Africa.
Life is still peaceful on the British protectorate and slow with Jonathan, with whom readers here will be familiar, its most famous modern-day resident.
On account of his longevity, the 192-year-old tortoise having seen everything that has ever happened on St Helena over the last century and half since coming here from Britain.
Jonathan won’t be worried then about hearing the thuds of humans running past him at Plantation House (the poor oul’ fella can’t see, you see).
All part of the biggest thing which is set to happen on St Helena next year.
With the World’s Most Remote Marathon slated for February 28.
When runners of all distances will be able to run in the footsteps of Old Boney.
Not sure how far he would jog with those petit legs of his, mind.
Run of the island
Runners can choose between a full marathon (42.2 km), half marathon (21.1 km), 10km or 5km distance, all starting in the grounds of Plantation House.
The route winds through forested trails, mountain paths and coastal cliffs.
Before finishing in Jamestown, the island’s historic capital.
Participants will experience a subtropical paradise with dramatic volcanic landscape.
Lush green highlands and sweeping ocean views.
And at just 47 square miles you’ll get to see most of the island in one good run then!
The marathon forms the centrepiece of St Helena’s Adventure Week.
A programme designed to showcase the island’s natural beauty and unique experiences.
And a host of activities
Visitors can take on the iconic Jacob’s Ladder climb, join guided hikes across diverse and spectacular terrain.
Try open water swimming (if you’ve got any energy left), or explore the island’s rich history and marine life.
Entry is priced at £65 for the full marathon, £38 for the half marathon, £20 for the 10km and £12 for the 5km.
Including race participation, a finisher medal and access to all the Adventure Week activities.
St Helena is accessed through direct flights operated by Airlink from South Africa.
In addition to regular weekly services from Johannesburg, Airlink will offer additional flights from Cape Town to support the event.
With flights scheduled on February 23 and March 2.
Accommodation options on the island include boutique hotels, welcoming guesthouses and self-catering cottages.
Get the vest back on
Jonathan Passaportis, Head of Tourism for St Helena Government, is urging us not to tarry.
He said: ‘Whether you are a seasoned runner or an adventurous traveller, this event offers the chance to achieve something truly special in 2027.
‘With limited capacity on flights and accommodation, we encourage those interested to book early.
‘And start preparing to take on this unique challenge.’
Now having missed out on a planned trip because of Covid, I’ll need to get my shoes back on.
Although I don’t know if the vest in which I won the Scottish Cross-Country Championship still fits.
To register for the marathon visit here.