You can’t keep them out of the news but isGreenland the oversized prize… and what’s Africa’s beef?
Now unless you have just emerged from under an iceberg you’ll know that Donald Trump has been sizing up Greenland.
On account of it being the biggest island on the lot… although technically continents are just big islands.
Now parking that for now the unexpected reason why Africa have Greenland in their crosshairs is mapping.
Beardie boffin: Gerardus Mercator
And more precisely 16th-century Flemish cartographer Gerardus Mercator.
Which made him then a subject of the Spanish Netherlands.
And weren’t the Spanish busy conquering the continents of the world and mapping their new territories?
Bigging up the Old World
The Old World: Mercator’s map
So we shouldn’t be surprised that they and other colonists bigged up their part in relation to their new subjects.
Which is how we got to where we are now with Africa measured the same size as Greenland.
Even though it’s 14 times the size.
But such creative drawing is now to be consigned to the 16th century after a Togo-led African charge got the UN to step in.
And adapt the ‘Correct the Map’ resolution, based we understand.
On Arno Peters’ map, a German historian, who launched the Peters world map based on the Gall–Peters projection in 1973.
And we’ve oversized perceptions too
New world: And Africa gets its proper place
Now because no man is an island we obviously want to redress other historical and geographical inaccuracies.
And sign up to Online campaign group #CorrectTheMap.
Who correctly point out: ‘You could fit the United States, China, India, Japan, Mexico and much of Europe into Africa and still have land to spare.’
It should come as little surprise then that the Commander in Chief’s people have belittled the resolution which is not binding.
With Yaryna Ferencevych, a US representative at the UN saying; ‘Instead of focusing on genuine problems of international peace, prosperity, or good relations.
‘The UN General Assembly is debating map projects from the 16th Century.
‘And their role in promoting reparations and ‘cognitive justice’.
And yes it will sound better in his native Xhosa tongue but for the day that’s in it and in the words of my fellow Glaswegian… oh, oh, oh, oh Mandela Day.
The Great Man, and the world hasn’t really had anyone like him since, was born on this day 108 years ago.
Regular visitors to these musings will know that we keep a close eye on Jonathan’s movements, which being a tortoise, are naturally very slow.
Go on then, you see how far you can walk when you get to 194.
All about me: Cristiano Ronaldo
There are some superhumans, of course, who will probably be plying their craft then, such as fellow inductee Cristiano Ronaldo.
As well as living legends Usain Bolt and LeBron James, the latter who has been holding court on Scotland’s golf courses and clubhouses these past few days.
Running man: The legend Usain Bolt
And female powerhouses, serial gymnastic gold medallist Simone Biles, Paralympic swimming champion and Strictly dancer Ellie Simmonds and Brazilian legend Marta.
And those who will for ever be immortal such as Don Bradman.
A tortoise for the ages
Plenty of shell-life: Jonathan
Great men and women all, but not godlike status on St Helena, like Jonathan.
And what’s more Jonathan is happy to mingle with visitors and will gladly agree to a selfie.
Head over heels: Simone Biles
Particularly if you bring along some cabbage, lettuce, apples, bananas, guavas and maybe the secret of eternal life, monkey’s ears herbs.
Outside his home at Plantation House, the official residence of the island’s Governor.
Jonathan has seen it all
Sign of times: Nothing much changes though
Of course, nothing very much fazes Jonathan.
As he has witnessed the evolution of modern society, including the arrival of cars, electricity, television, and digital connectivity.
More broadly, Guinness World Records recognises him as the oldest living land animal.
Now this tiny British outcrop lies 3,329 miles west of South Africa from where you’ll come in which, of course, we were set to do before Covid intervened.
Jonathan, of course, survived that, and seeing he shows no sign of leaving us any time soon, I dare say, and hope he will hang on until we do get there.
So when the British decided to send Napoleon to somewhere he couldn’t escape from, they chose a marathon trip to St Helena in the South Atlantic.
After all the drama of his life before Old Boney would have been forgiven for being quite at peace in the remote island south-west of modern-day South Africa.
Life is still peaceful on the British protectorate and slow with Jonathan, with whom readers here will be familiar, its most famous modern-day resident.
On account of his longevity, the 192-year-old tortoise having seen everything that has ever happened on St Helena over the last century and half since coming here from Britain.
The slow lane: Jonathan
Jonathan won’t be worried then about hearing the thuds of humans running past him at Plantation House (the poor oul’ fella can’t see, you see).
All part of the biggest thing which is set to happen on St Helena next year.
We’re advised to take the needle & thread walk through the ancient souks.
Now anyone who has walked through the souks will know that you’ll need to avoid vendors trying to barter with you and thrust apple teas into your hand.
The well mapped-out trail will take you to several vibrant areas of the ancient medina from tailoring to dyers souks.
Now Diamantine, has been at the forefront of the atelier scene for 15 years.
This year’s Caftan Week is dedicated to the theme ‘Nefes El Atlas’, or ‘Breath of the Atlas’.
And pays tribute to the mountains and their culture, which has acted as a source of inspiration for local designers and fashion houses.
And the exotic Pink City is easily accessible from your local airport and we found an EasyJet return flight covering the dates of Caftan Week from £302pp for three nights.
Alas in this region you are never too far away from reminders of conflicts past and present.
Such as tanks which have been dropped in the sea… to help with the marine life.
And which the snorkelers in our party availed of, swimming down to the great hulks.
While others wimped out on first contact with the water and got back on board to get an early start on lunch.
Serve it up: Fit for a president
Now should you wish to alight on Sharm el-Sheikh and it is to my regret that I caved in to the Scary One.
And gave away our invitation there back in the day to a less deserving colleague and friend.
Then here are five 5* options hand-picked by our friends at the welcomingly named Plenty Holidays.
With emojis compliments of Plenty Holidays, symbols we think would meet The Donald’s approval.
Good luck Sharm
Towering: The Sheraton
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The Phew Lagoon
Water site: Parrotel Lagoon Resort
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