He stood on the ship bridge, togged up to the nines, his hand shaking as h publicly reconfirmed his love to his wife. ‘I’ve got Parkinson’s,’ he said. ‘This is our 50th wedding anniversary. We really wanted to do this because I don’t know if we’ll see my 51st.’
The story was told to me on the first day of my mini-break on an Island Cruises jaunt around the west Mediterranean.
I had inquired as to what a lectern and a Bible under a glass case were doing at the heart of a control room.
Which I could only liken to my vague memories of sitting awestruck in an aeroplane cockpit as a boy.
I imagined the couple holding hands and looking out of the waves, letting their minds drift over their years together.
I hope they celebrated 51, 52, 53 years together and are still going strong. Because if any holiday can be life-reviving then that holiday is a cruise.
We took off from Toulon, halfway through the liner’s tour from Italy round to the Balearic Islands.
But although only on the mothership (its size must really experienced to be believed) for a few days it became my floating home from home.
Home that is if you enjoy the life of a country gent or a Beckham.
Life on board
But let me killl off some preconceptions straight away.
You’re stuck on it: Well, why would you want to get off when you’re in the middle of the sea. And you’ve got the sun beating down on you and you can look over the rails at the waves swishing comfortingly below.
The sea is always the same: Only if the weather remains the same, you’re stuck in the same spot and it’s always the middle of the day.
I was next up: Photo by Oliver Sjöström on Pexels.com
The sea is constantly changing and so are your surroundings, so much so that you’ll think that you’re wasting time by sleeping particularly if you can be taking in a breathtaking sunrise.
The onshore excursions are too short: Yes, if you just go to a plaza an sit drinking beer. But I would defy anyone not to get spring in their step whey they are awoken by the captain announcing you are in Barcelona.
And you look out for the first time on the statue of Columbus pointing to the US.
Las Ramblas is a shoppers’ paradise but personally I found the sea front more alluring and spectacular.
I was also put off by the market stall on the main thoroughfare where hens in cages are sold.
For the best way to see Barcelona, take advantage of the helicopter option. If you’ve never been in a chopper, don’t worry about noise.
You get earphones or turbulence because it’s like I imagined Aladdin felt on his magic carpet. Landing too is a skoosh like stepping off a stair.
Sports action
Sports mad? There seem to be more pools, football arenas and studio per square metre the any other city I’ve been to.
For the soccer-mad Briton a visit to the Nou Camp is awe-inspiring. The dilemma is deciding whether to ty to pack in more sights or to return to the liner to enjoy a few extra on-board activities.
Beautiful sunsets. Photo by Shawnna Donop on Pexels.com
Just don’t cut it too fin or they’ll leave without you.
Don’t imagine you will run out of things to do on board. You can swim, drink, eat, and of course, eat.
You’ll never be bored
The buffet is an eat-all-you-like when-you-like, what-you-like treat… that comes at a price!±
Out guide told us that on average people put on a stone a week during a cruise.
He said this while downing a large glass of water. He has come down from 25 stone to 18 with a plan which involves drinking litres and litres of H2).
You can also gamble on board in get ship’s casinos. Or having sampled foods from around the world in any of he exclusive restaurants you can burn it all off in the gym.
Have a go on the rowing machine while looking out over the swell or opt for a massage in the on-board health suite.
Or simply do nothing.
When do we ever really give ourselves that luxury,
Turn off the mobile phone and just relax by the pool.
Even if somebody wanted to see you you couldn’t get to them so you might as well ignore that phone.
In the evenings it’s sheer indulgence to be able to saunter on from your living room (read, the restaurant) to your lounge (read, the theatre) to enjoy West End-style shows.
Delights around every corner. On Majorca. Photo by Zach Besley on Pexels.com
Majorca adventures
But then the dy finally comes – damn, I’m only halfway down the cocktail list when we have to get off.
Thankfully though, it’s not Old Blighty yet. As part of our package we have a couple of nights stop-off in Palma, Majorca.
We stayed in Santa Ponsa, in a lovely secluded hotel called the Jardin del Sol Suites & Spa which is close enough if you want to be near the busier main village.
We used the hotel as base and what a luxurious base it was. A Jacuzzi bath and a shower with sprinklers.
You will get hot if you go to Majorca in high season but that’s great, it gives you the chance to have a bath and a shower.
And if you want a siesta, then you can sprawl out on the hotel’s triple beds!
Michael and Catherine
The balcony looks out on the swimming pool and the glistening sea.
Drag yourself away from it all though and get out into the north of the island, it’s the most picturesque part of Majorca. But don’t just take my word for it.
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones have a home there.
You’re in the high part of the island here and the views from the top of the passes are stunning.
The pick of the tourist attractions is the monastery at Valdemosa.
It would be interesting enough for its history, religious relics, position and scenery.
But it is all the more fascinating because of its association with Frederic Chopin, the composer and his lover George Sand.
Ostracised by the religious zealots in the village, the sickly Chopin was taken in by the monks and nursed by Sand.
You can still see his manuscripts and what is claimed to be his piano.
There’s only so much high culture you can take though, and any trip to Majorca would not be complete without some Spanish dancing.
The Son Amar show in a huge arena in the middle of the island crams it all in.
And that’s just the food which is shovelled on to plates and whisked away while you’ve still got your fork in your hand.
Still, there’s a show on.
Still not finished: La Sagradia Familia Photo by Enrico Perini on Pexels.com
The least said about the comic the better – maybe humour doesn’t always travel but the flamenco dancers and the magic art were well, magic.
But like the sun setting on the horizon over the Med on the liner, so it had to set on my cruise.
With my in-flight magazine on my lap and looking out on home soil again, I thought of circling Barcelona in a helicopter and the view at sunrise on my Island Cruise trip.
Reasons to cruise the Med
I’ll give that a go: Flamenco dancer. Photo by Mark Neal on Pexels.com
Watch the sunrise: You can watch the sunrise anywhere but you can’t watch it appear over the horizon with a cooling breeze around you on board a luxury cruise. Pure poetry!
Take in a cruise show: You can just watch while nursing a cocktail in your hand, or budding thespians can take part in one of the talent shows.
Step ashore in Barcelona: And then a take a flight over the city. It’ll be the smoothest flight you’ve ever had. Swirl over forests, haciendas, Las Ramblas, the specatacular seafront rebuilt for the Barcelona Olympics and the statue of Columbus.
Join the monks in Majorca: Visit the monastery that housed the hard-living hard-loving George Sand and her composer beau Frederic Chopin. Their short life together on Majorca could make a Hollywood blockbuster.
Learn flamenco in Spain: The La Mer Show is good old-fashioned Spain for the tourists, bu too less enjoyable for that.
El deal
She’s got the whole world in her hands. Arty Majorca. Photo by Tim Savage on Pexels.com
Operating out of Palma, Majorca, until October, Island Cruises offers 14-night cruise-and-stay packages from £675pp.
Comprising a seven-night cruise followed by a seven-night stay in one of 29 Majorcan hotels.
Cruise and stay packages at the Jardin del Sol Suites & Spa with accommodation on a half-board basis start from £965pp.
Flights are available from Glasgow and Edinburgh, supplements apply.
For more information and recruitments call Island Cruises on (08707) 500 414 or visit http://www.islandcruises.com.
*Since this article was published in The Scotsman in 2003 Island Cruises has gone through a number of changes with TUI now moving the previous brand forward with great success.Hence you being redirected to https://www.tui.co.uk
Where was your first cruise and did it live up to expectations?
Mine’s was Majorca. It’s in the mists of history now but warm in my memory.
And soon to be part of your cruising experience too after I found some old cuttings in my early Spring clean…. Smooth sailing around the Western Med
Which I’ll write up for you once The Scary One gives me a coffee break.
But back to Majorca and my old friends TUI have savings of €200 per booking on sailings from May-October.
Highlights of the Mediterranean: Dublin to Majorca. Board the Marella Discovery for seven nights all-inclusive and enjoy an inside cabin from €1029. For May 2.
Harbour your dreams
Colourful Coasts: Dublin to Tenerife. On the Marella Explorer in an inside cabin. All-inclusive. Seven nights from €992pps.
Food should be fun and taken out of the hands of foodies… and chefs.
I’m writing this while eating my Swedish ‘vacuum cleaners’ or dammsugare for fika. These are named after the tube-shaped vacuum cleaners of the Fifties.
I had been given them in my godispase, or goody bag.
Clean sweep
The godispase had come courtesy of the Stena Estrid, Swedish ferry cruise company‘s http://www.stenaline.ie and www.stenaline.co.uk maiden journey between Holyhead and Dublin.
It is, in truth, the closest I will get to a vacuum cleaner but it shows the Swedes’ sense of fun.
The Swedish dammsugare
To name this sweet after a common household gadget.
And it’s good to see that the world has been watching because it’s not for nothing that Jim Henson looked to Scandinavia for his madcap Swedish Chef.
Somebody dropped a pen in front of us… had it been Victoria it would have been no trouble because she’s wearing Aer Lingus’s new rip-resistant, extra comfy cabin crew slacks.
Victoria tells me that she had a split when she bent down (it’s a regular part of the job on the cabin crew) when she was wearing the trousers of a previous airline.
Louise’s special touch
Aer Lingus http://www.aerllingus.com showcased their new uniforms yesterday at a glitzy event in Dublin.
It is the first uniform change in 22 years, but again it is designed by the Petra Pan of Irish fashion Louise Kennedy,
Behind the Madonna soundtrack and the crew putting on their vogue on the runway the most important thing is…
How comfortable the uniforms are for the staff.
And let’s be honest here lads, it’s really about how the lasses feel.
On the bridge: We’ll look after you
Of course the look is important – no self-respecting woman wants to go to work in something they don’t feel a million dollars in.
After gliding across the runway, Victoria shared with us her delight with the new uniform.
Particularly with the trousers which she said she could see herself wearing in both hot and colder climates.
There are 25 redesigned garments including those new trouser options for female with Kenmare Green.
Girl power: And there’s style and comfort
The turquoise/blue ‘Kenmare’ shade captures our national colour.
And ‘Midnight’ navy blue skirts and trousers a good choice if you’re handling food and all the other things you have to do on a flight.
The new uniforms will be rolled out by the 4,000 cabin and ground crew around the world from February 10.
They used to be brown!
It would be safe to say that the Aer Lingus uniforms have come a long way…
Since those Sybil Connolly military-style rich brown suits from 1945 – the green came in in 1948
So as they say it’s Kenmare Green for go.
Victoria, Oisin and me.. and that glass didn’t take my leg off but if it had they’d have helped out!
I’ve always found that Aer Lingus flies the flag with distinction.
And I’ve seen first-hand how the ground staff and cabin crew go about their business.
With a friendly smile while also solving any amount of problems in an unfussy and efficient manner…
I’d given up on finding my ciocolatta di calda densa after the owners of Campo de Fiori in the next town went home to Italy,
But Tomasso at Caffe Delle Stelle here in Greystones, Co. Wicklow, put a bit of colour into my grey winter’s day.
Chocolate is a gift from the gods so much so that the Incas believed it had magical spiritual powers.
So who am I to disagree?
And here are a few of my favourite hot chocolate dens.
The Caffe Pedrocchi, Padovahttps://www.caffepedrocchi.itVenice has its St Mark’s Square and Rialto Bridge and its masses but there’s a quieter, hidden Veneto city.
Where Giotto’s handiwork inspired Michelangelo and you can find St Anthony’s tongue!
This grande cafe dates back a hundred years and hits the right note between posh and prego.
The Old Chocolate Shop, Bruges, Belgium: I can’t recall Colin Farrell sipping hot chocolate here in the cult movie In Bruges.
But he would have been more chilled if he had.
This canal city is famous for its choccies but don’t press your noses up against the windows… come in.
The Old Chocolate Shop https://www.oldchocolatehouse.be looks straight out of a nursery rhyme… and you should deffo try the gingerbread and truffles too.
That is after sampling the bacon-flavoured chocolate in their tasting kitchen. We left with a hamper. And you know what I think of New York but here’s a reminder… Old New York: Hamilton
The Cafe Savoy, Prague: Everyone raves about Vienna, and it’s not to be missed.
But cafe society permeated throughout the whole of the old Austro-Hungarian Hapsburg Empire.
Its Savoy Hot Chocolate which uses hot milk hails from the Dominican Republic; the Savoy dessert hot chocolate is made of Valrhona chocolate and hot chocolate.
It is served with whipped milk and you can add it to the cup to melt with the chocolate.
Hot chocolate is one of life’s little gifts to yourself.
Barcelona for hot chocolate
It can be drunk in hot and cold weather despite what my waitresss Mardy Maria thought as we lunched inside from the 30C Barcelona heat… Surfing the seas in Barcelona
My Catalan isn’t that great but her hand gestures suggested f****** eeji or something like that.
Tell me where your fave hot chocolate is and I’ll share the love.
