David Haye, Gemma Collins and Harry Redknapp can be heroes if they like, but get me out to Kruger wonderland, and we’ll do it our way.
As the I’m a Celebrity all-stars ready themselves to decamp to South Africa we, of course, aim our sights higher.
No slumming for us as we check out the Untamed At Satara offer, in the exclusive Satara Plains Camp.
Now we know money is no object to the likes of The GC but we save hard to go on holiday.
So we need to make every rand of the 4,950pps (£206) per night until the end of the season in 30 September, count.
Too tense, this is suite
Our campers will be housed in tented suites, with no comfort spared.
All meals are created by on camp chefs, no amateurs here.
And all house beverages, including selected South African wines (remember to put your ice in your white wine.
And there are two safari activities per day.
Ignoring, of course, the evidence of this picture of this South African game reserve Gang of Four.
You’re the celebrity
You are treated like a real celebrity on safari.
With the best rangers who use high-tech equipment, and even better, their wits to track the Big Five.
Although we can’t promise that you’ll be as lucky and find a new cheetah mum Thandie and her cubs.
Nestling under a bush.
You’d need intrepid Zimbabwean tracker Hewart, for that.
And we can’t see our old Scots-Springbok pal and host Iain at Mount Camdeboo letting him go.
Carry on camping
Now our pals at Satara will be packing up camp to return it solely to the animals before pitching again in May.
So whether you do watch the antics of the C-listers on I’m A Celeb or SA has always been a bucket list.
You’ll probably be thinking like me and saying get me out to Kruger wonderland.