Holidos and don’ts: At the airport

We’ve all been there… we think we’ve given ourselves enough time at the airport but find ourselves running for the plane.

Well the golden lesson is that you can always make up those precious minutes at your destination so give yourself enough time… they don’t tell you to arrive at least two hours before departure for the good of their health.

Do you really want to stress yourself out when you’re standing at a long check-in queue worrying if it will move quickly enough?

Similarly at the security queue which brings us to our next point.

Scanners

The Scary One has many pet names for me – one is You which is short for Useless. Another is Pockets.

I have got better though.

Men are definitely worse here… it’s just not in our DNA to wear manbags. So that means carrying our essentials in at least eight pockets (four jacket and two front and two back trousers pockets).

Remember all you really need are your keys, mobile and charger (or battery pack), passport with tickets and insurance document in the folder, and wallet.

And put them in your rucksack (front pocket) preferably and then back in your pockets after you’re through the scanner.

It’s far easier, and cheaper, to replace a rucksack and its contents if you leave it somewhere than any of the Big Five valuables. And it’s rare that you should feel the need to take off your trousers in the airport. And inadvisable.

Back to the scanner and apart from the faffing around at the trays do you really want other people seeing your dirty hankies or sticky sweeties, or worse?

And lastly, cosmetics. If you’re a man, Man Up… you don’t need them. If you’re a woman then you’ll not need me to tell you the quantities you need to put in those little bags.

Airport refuelling

Which is food and drink to you and me.

Now, I’m not your Dad… apart from you two, and I’ve long given up on imagining I can get you to do anything I ask you. But airport drinking? I mean why?

And at breakfast time?

They’re expensive, flying is dehydrating and if you are going somewhere hot you may hit a wall of humidity the other end.

Better stick with water.

When it comes to food and avoiding the expense I’m now taking my cue from some Asians I met in a check-in queue. They had brought Tuppaware boxes of fruit, sandwiches and biscuits with them and flasks of tea.

Pass the time

It’s old-fashioned and a bit out there but try talking to each other or other travellers.

Failing that, and if you have to bury your head in your mobile, look up every now and then to check your gate or departure time.

And don’t make the mistake that one silly person with silly headgear made, missing his flight because he didn’t hear his name being called out because he was listening to his music on his headphones. Very expensive songs those!

If you do have time to kill, and my worst was eight hours in Denver, although that’s a fine airport with fine facilities and entertainments including a putting course, then entertain yourself.

Read a book… you can get them in a thing called a newsagents’ shop, they’re a bound collection of pages with stories about people and they sometimes even have pictures too. Ask your Mums and Dads.

Or even buy a newspaper. You might have heard of them too. And they sometimes have some entertaining Travel articles by bearded Bandanamen.

Do puzzles or word games. You can make up your own.

Or play cards. For matchsticks… you wouldn’t want to bet away your money to get home from the airport when you arrive the other end.

And if you exhaust everything else and have window-shopped every store a hundred times then do like I did and repack your suitcase.

It led to me making a new friend in Denver who asked if I was a teacher because of the level of detail or organisation I was showing.

Either that or a serial killer!

We all know our nearest airports but here’s a quick reminder of their websites…

www.dublinairport.com www.shannonairport.ie www.corkairport.com www.kerryairport.ie www.westairport.com

Published by funtime65

Lets dance! I’ve waltzed with Judy Murray, partied with Brian Lara, manned the barricades with Civil Rights leader Myrlie Evers and even unmasked The Donald as a mariachi fan. Join me (and my bandana) on a madcap tour of the world with the people who make it all possible, our wonderful travel providers.

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