So where to go when it rains on the Sun God’s island of Rhodes?
What we’d done to offend Zeus on Mount Olympus or whether Helios was away, we need shelter from their wrath.
And that means a visit to the Throne of Helios opposite the harbour off the Old Town.
For the 9D spectacular of the history of Rhodes, the first of its type in Europe, and a very special chariot race.
Similar to say the now sadly discontinued Shrek 4-D adventure we enjoyed in Orlando.
Hair-raising stuff
You literally don’t have to leave your seat for a rocky thrill ride.
Although even inside the repurposed original Rhodian cinema, 100 years old next year, you won’t be entirely dry.
As you’ll get sprayed with water from the sea.
Caught up in a battle, rocked by an earthquake and sprayed with smoke.
And bumped from the back.
All of which might illicit a scream of ‘what, I’ve just done my hair.’
Up close with Helios
The Throne of Helios is a 20-minute riproaring thrill ride which will occupy kids and big kids, rain or shine.
And for just €13 of our modern coin you’ll forget that Helios has taken a day off and believe he is actually in here.
Of course, all good things must come to an end and it’s back out into the elements.
But there is immediate help at hand in Umbrella Corner, where you have a choice of brolly good specialist shops.
With your Bandanaman hooded and Medusa covering her strands with her newly acquired brolly we go to have a word with Helios.
Where he was, or perhaps his spirit still is, between the two piers where the 80m Colossus in his memory is said to have stood.
At home among the old fossils
Peering enviously at the big yachts with Russian names nyet no reprieve.
We trudge back into the Old Town for our next stop.
And a step back in time at the Archaeological Museum.
And an education, and then some, of the civilisations which have passed through Rhodos.
For the overgrown schoolboys (guilty) and schoolgirls (a group of giggly gals from my hometown of Glasgow) there are naughty bits.
Greek busts and phallises but also beautifully preserved amphoras or jugs.
And on the grander scale statues to the gods and headstones.
The ancient and the modern
It is though in the small things that we often find God’s most wondrous hand.
And it takes some comprehending that the tiniest hedgehogs and frogs from thousands of years ago are preserved so beautifully.
Whether Helios had a late one he is arisen and shining now and we are ready to embrace his creation again.
Which for my goddess means a refuel at our now favourite stopping off point, Socrates Garden.
Before a shopping expedition around some very well-thumbed stall items.
Now that’s a whole different odyssey of epic proportions.’
Deal me in
Your friendly neighbourhood Bandanaman is travelling with loveholidays and EasyJet from Edinburgh.
And staying at the Amphitryon City Hotel, 800m from the Old Town.
All for £1,028 for two, B&B and evening meals, for a week with airport transfers.