And ahead of the release of this summer’s Ancient Greeks blockbuster here’s how to follow in the sandlestraps of Odysseus.
Now we know, like your Bandanaman, you’ll recognise Ody’s itinerary from studying the poem in your Ancient Greek class.
We join Ody in the island of Ogygia where he is held captive by the goddess Calypso (poor little soldier).
And those of us who love the Maltese archipelago might recognise it on Christopher Nolan’s movie as its little sister Gozo.
Our love odyssey
But don’t take our word for it. Well, actually do, but no less a figure than the ancient historian Callimachus.
Which lies 350 miles southwest of Corfu (Ody’s penultimate stop Scheria in the poem).
And perfectly aligns with Odysseus’s perilous maritime journey.
And, of course, we channeled our inner Calypso and Ody by getting engaged on Malta and honeymooning on Corfu.
High land and island
Ody tells us that his journey back to his homeland of Ithaca all began at the end of the Trojan War.
And yours will too, in what we believe was Troy, in north-west Anatolia.
Its archaeological site is situated on the mound of Hisarlık, near the village of Tevfikiye, 20 miles south of city Çanakkale.
You may too want to visit (best not raid) the foot of Mount Ismaros in Thrace, in north-east Greece.
Better known among Homerians as the Land of the Cicones (Ismarus).
Before diverting to the island of Djerba, Tunisia, this lad really could have done with GPS, or this site.
To the Land of the Lotus Eaters which Herodotus and Pliny the Elder credit as being the site of Lotophagi.
And where Ody no doubt enjoyed his downtime with the inhabitants who subsisted on narcotic, memory-erasing lotus plants.
Never mind the boulders
Now you would need that if your next mission is to fight and blind a one-eyed monster, Polyphemus.
On the island of the Cyclopes, which we know today as Sicily.
And which is also billed as the Land of the Laestrygonians where man-eating monsters sank Ody’s pals’ ships with boulders.
Of course today’s Sicilians are far friendlier although best start by calling them Sicilian and not Italian.
Now following Ody’s trail you’ll be glad that the Med islands transitioned from chasing tourists to welcoming them.
Pigging out
It helps, of course, to have the right God on your side.
Which would be, and we really hope you don’t need him.
But if the sorceress Circe tries to turn you and you’re family into pigs then Hermes is your go-to god.
Of course, don’t let any of this put you off visiting Cape Circeo (Mount Circeo), the erstwhile Aeaea.
A small peninsula on the west coast of Italy, about 100 km south of Rome.
While for all the misadventures Ody has in Sicily, Homer obviously likes it because he sends him back there (or Trinicaria).
Though maybe not mention his name around the island as Ody’s crew destroyed Helios’ sacred cattle there (no, us neither) and Zeus totalled them out at sea.
Ithaca Homer run
All of which meanderings and choppy maritine mayhem brings us to Ody’s home in Ithaca.
Where his Scary One, Penelope is waiting for him.
Now you can overload on all things Homer, or better still get a local guide to take you around.
The Cave of the Nymphs, Stavros Archaeological Museum, Polis Cave, and Homer’s School.
How to get there quicker
And because few of us have ten years free to wander around the east Med and daren’t risk the wrath of our Scary Ones either.
The quickest way to get to Ithaca is either by sea through Kefallonia and Lefkada, as well as with the mainland (Patras and Astakos).
While the closest airports are Kefallonia and Aktion-Preveza.