And whatever the French is for fake it till you make it I peaked as King of the Mountains on Le Tour de France on Le Col du Tourmalet.
So I sympathise with cycling star Remco Evenepoel today, who was peddling backwards on the hardest climb of Le Tour.
It is, of course, painful to watch these supermen struggle to ride the 182km from Pau to Luchon-Superbagnères, Lenny Martinez aside.
Now for those who paid attention in geography classes (non moi).
The finishing line is 1,804m above sea level.
With the final challenge a punishing 12.4 km climb at 7.3%, ranked Hors Catégorie.
Up to the Luchon-Superbagnères ski resort (and the clue to the severity is in the activity).
Where I peaked as King of the Mountains on Le Tour.
Pic of the mountains
So the rest of us including the thousands located all the way up the mountain take a coach.
While some of us vilains garçons have been known to borrow a bike at the top.
For that fake pic which proves that you’ve channelled your inner rider.
Et pardon to those Caledonians who came before me who were truer to the race.
Such as fellow Glaswegian and King of the Mountains champion from 1984, Robert Millar now Philippa York.
While that rich tradition has been upheld over the years with Kelso cyclist Oscar Onley flying the flag for Scotland.
All downhill now
Now Le Tour cyclists have been scaling the great mountain’s heights for 115 years now.
But for every Robert Millar there’s a Eugène Christophe.
Who was disqualified for making his own repairs on his broken bike fork back in 2013.
At at a forge in Sainte-Marie-de-Campan after descending the Col du Tourmalet.
Poor Eugène was penalised for having the blacksmith’s boy pump the bellows.
Different temps as we saw few blacksmiths on our descent.
Although there were plenty of daredevil cyclists skirting corners.
Now with tens of thousands descending themselves on Le Col du Tourmalet for a mere glimpse of their heroes.
There is clearly pressure on billets.
Tents and towering peaks
Le Tour website helpfully carries AirbNb recommendations.
In all shapes and sizes including intriguingly a tent in the mountains at Dome in Ourd for £20 per night.
Our camping days behind us after too many misadventures on the way we would advise the billet we were shown.
On Le Pic du Midi where you can touch the sky.
With an all-inclusive single room from €439pp and double room €469pp back then though best check up on current prices.