I’m back in Munich Airport on Sunday… I feel I never left.
My luggage didn’t.
Well, maybe not didn’t, but certainly a good day after I got back to Ireland.
Hey ho, that I can handle, there were after all seven of us in the same boat if I can mix my metaphors.
I feel my misadventures in Munich Airport have prepared me for whatever pitfalls may yet befall me on Sunday.
But there will always be some I’ll repeat or have yet to encounter.
And so I have prepared a manifesto for airports and airlines everywhere.
While Donegal Airport http://www.donegalairport.ie was voted the most scenic airport in the world for the second year running by PrivateFly, a private jet booking service…
But here’s where we can get better,
Subsidiaries of airlines
1: Don’t be shy. Shout your name on the booking and not just on the small print.
It will save confusion when you ask at the airport and you get directed to the headline airline.
And you find that the two airlines go to the same destination 15 minutes apart.
And the only way to make your destination is if you are Usain Bolt and the train connection to the other gate is on time.
Open up more check-in desks
2: Why is there always one unmanned (or unwomanned)?
And one clueless, selfish bloke is shoring up one of the two desks when you’ve only got 15 minutes.
To find your gate, in a foreign airport, with primarily Greek lettering signage.
3. Make sure your taxi doesn’t turn up late.
To your hotel when you’ve only got 45 minutes to get to the airport.
OK, that’s not the airport’s fault.
4. Or at least fast and slow walking lanes.
I swear the walkway when you land in Dublin to customs gets longer every time I come through.
See Nos 1 and 3.
Provide some phone points
5. So that when it all goes Pete Tong you can charge your phone to get on the app…
To rearrange your flight, or, yes it’s old-fashioned but… phone your wife for a confidence booster.
In fact this is Nos 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11.
12: Leave a book of Greek poetry
For those of us who took Ancient Greek at school!
Like they did at Kythera airport in the Attica region from where we visited Aphrodite’s birthplace www.kythera.gr/en.
13: Turkish Airlines Business Lounge
You can improve on perfection.
Turkish Airlines’ http://www.turkishairlnes.com business lounge in the new Istanbul airport, an ideal hub, though I’d say you’d be tempted to stay in Turkey’s biggest city.
That is if you ever leave the airport with its golf simulator, grand prix games track, banquets of food and drink and cinema.
And much, much more.
I also had the privilege of being shown around TA’s headquarters.
And shown all that goes on behind the scenes… Wham bam, thank you Hamam.
And remember every Friday is Flyday Friday… avert a Greek tragedy.
MEET YOU ON THE ROAD