Yes, it was the Cojonasvirus that did for the Testicle Featival in Clinton, Montana.
It’s what I miss most from my travels, not the sun (tick) or the drink (tick) but what’s different… that I can’t find at home.
Testicle festivals (and yes, we’re talking bulls here) are more commonplace than you might think.
Because after all they’re what’s being sized up at farm shows.
In fact a cows’ udders contest was one of the first journalist duties I was given at the Newbury Show in southern England.
Did Woodward and Bernstein start like this? Well possibly if they began their careers at the Clinton Daily News https://www.clintondailynews.com.
Get on your bike in Northern Ireland
And a big shout-out to nine-year-old James Cunningham who has raised €2,800 for homeless charity The Peter McVerry Trust.
James has only been on a virtual cycling ride, 280kms over two days (that’s 12 hours).
Clontarf’s James, the next Stephen Roche, is a legend in his own right which isn’t surprising as he’s got good genes.
Mum Fiona is the award-winning Tourism NI ROI Market Manager.
Now Northern Ireland is perfect terrain for bikes and I’m flagging up one of its jewels, Rathlin Island.
The isle, off the coast of Antrim, is reputedly where King of Scotland Robert the Bruce met his spider in a cave and tried, tried, tried again.
Which was why we sailed across some choppy waters for a cycle.
Despite our best advice the Son and Heir and Daddy’s Little Girl gorged on chocolate bars and fizzy drinks.
Which meant our cycle up to the lighthouse took a little longer than it should.
And by the power of Zoom we hooked up with our friends from Portugal to fly the green and red country.
The plan was to dye the old beardie in national red and green colours but lockdown lethargy kicked in.
And Daddy’s Little Girl was still in bed when I needed my makeover.
So you’ll just have to make do with this photo from the Portuguese Christmas lunch in Dublin from a couple of years ago.
The good news is that Portugal https://www.visitportugal.com/en is ahead of the curve and making it safe to travel again, and I’ll tell you just when.
You may well want to get away from people and out to nature.
Where you’ll see birds with Ibis fliers with beaks like spoons… https://www.google.ie/amp/s/jimmurtytraveltraveltravel.com/2019/06/12/sportugal/amp/.
Or check out Lagoa Dos Salgados in the Algarve.
Prestigious clifftop resort VILA VITA Parc https://vilavitaparc.com/en/welcome can arrange a guided tour (€65pp).
Rates: Doubles start from €330 per night.
Package: Stay three nights B&B from £1835pps with Elegant Records, economy class flights from Luton with EasyJet including private airport transfers.
Call Elegant Resorts on (01) 244897000 or visit http://www.elegantresorts.co.uk
MEET YOU ON THE ROAD