Never mind the dishes, I’m smashing the whole cabinet after Scotland jumped the gun and took Greece off the exempt list.
Plate-smashing dates back to classical times when it was seen as a display of ostentatious wealth.
Quite why modern-day dictator Georgios Papadopoulos banned it from 1967-1974 you’ll have to get there and ask yourself.
But alas, those of us of a Scottish variety, or who live in Scotland, will have to wait.
In this disunited kingdom of ours we all do things differently and we are now waiting to see which way the English go.
And while we expect they will bring the hammer down on the Greeks.
There is a glimmer of hope in the west where the ancient Britons went.
Yes, Wales, where their assembly is employing a selective approach.
With two COVID tests for those returning from Zante, one in 48 hours and another in eight days.
And this breakthrough in common sense is something to sing about.
Which is, of course, why it will be ignored by everyone else.
As we contemplate going through England and Wales.
Funky Portugal Centro
Oh, and in this game of hokey-cokey, as my friends in the Scottish Passenger Agents Association coin it, Portugal is set to follow tomorrow.
I’m intrigued to see that the lowest rates are in the less-visited but captivating Portugal Centro.
Where my old friend, Jose ‘The Special One’ Madomis, will tell you that everything good which ever happened in Portugal started in his home town, Coimbra.