A wee daughter of Donegal picking up the birthday bill

There’s a banquet today at the Lord’s table with a wee daughter of Donegal picking up the birthday bill.

And woe betide anyone, God included, who gets in her way.

Of course, for Donegal, read Dublin, Glasgow or Galway, Newtowmountkennedy or New York.

Or anywhere my Dear Old Mum, who will be surely celebrating her 96th birthday today in heaven, wined and dined us.

Handbags at Dawn

Anyone who has spent any time with the Irish of that golden generation will recognise the women who pay the bill.

Or seen the advert on Irish television where two women discuss who will fork up for the fare.

Ending, of course, in them battering each other over the head with handbags.

It has been my great fortune to have been able to break bread with the force of nature that was Teasy for nearly six decades.

And never once did she let me, or anyone else, pay.

Teasy’s table

Not on any of the big occasions, my 50th birthday, at the Hydro in Peebles in the Scottish Borders.

Nor any of the times when we were living in Co. Wicklow and would meet relatives in the Grand Hotel, Malahide, north of Dublin… 

Nor in her homestead of Donegal in the north-west of Ireland.

And we had one of our many mini-fall-outs when we attended my NYFD cousin’s wedding in New York.

And she forced money into my hand to pay for everyone and then apologised to said cousin when they paid our way.

Our shout

While on the one occasion I was able to treat her, in her adopted city of Glasgow, she couldn’t help herself either.

And when the good people of the Glasgow Tourist board asked for the bill at the end of our meals, her purse would come out.

A lot of head scratching followed before the next lunch or meal and the same scenario played out again… and as for the cost of the hotel.

Teasy’s wide-eyed appetite for life could only be seen to be believed and she wondered in awe that anybody would pay my way to write about their wares.

Of course, Teasy, had the final word at our last supper before we returned her to the Donegal sod  last week.

A wee daughter of Donegal picking up the birthday bill still.