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Maybe that’s why my Dear Old Dad was so grumpy at my wedding… he was expecting a dowry along the lines of Shetland the best wedding gift in the world.

Orkney too was part of the package.

Next month marks 550 years for the two archipelago of slands north of Scotland as incorporated within the Alba (that means Scottish) territory.And it was all down to the resolution of a taxation dispute over the Western Islands, the Hebrides.

Through a dowry from King Christian 1 of Denmark (who were the overseers for Norway) to King James III of Scotland.

Christian had hoped to keep hold of the two sets of islands (and why wouldn’t you?).

And he was willing to stump up 60,000 Rheingulden which were gold florins from the Rhineland and a popular currency in Northern Europe at this time.

But he couldn’t stump up the money and so matched it against the hand of his 13-year-old daughter Margaret instead (lucky her!).

Treasure islands

Follow our leader: Let the marching begin

The rundown of the value of the islands is said to have been 50,000 for Orkney because of its rich farming lands and the rest for exposed Shetland.

Now if only they had the knowledge and technology to look below the island towards the seabed.

Because there was, and still is, a rich dividend of golden oil which has made the island rich since the 1970s.

The islands may have undergone five and a half centuries being Scotified but they have been loath to abandon their old Norwegian ways.

Fire, I give you fire

The first months of the year hold a special significance to the Shetlanders when the Fire Festivals rage.

Starting in Scalloway they include a Viking parade and burning of a replica Viking longship in the picturesque harbour.

Throughout Shetland, there are ten Up Helly Aa/Fire Festival celebrations between January and March.

The one we all know best is in the capital, Lerwick, but alas because of Covid the festival which would have taken place tomorrow has been cancelled.

The organisers explain rightly that the event is a year in the planning which will mean that the Norse Gods being good we will be able to enjoy it next year.

Shetland friends

And as luck (and judgment) would have it we have friends in Shetland where we have an open invite to stay.

All of which comes in handy as I guess the limited accommodation on Bressay Sound hikes the prices up.

And so you want to know more about the fiery festival?

Well, the Guizer Jarl (no, me neither) and his squad begin their preparations in February.

And there are 46 other squads taking part which judging that there are only 6,880 residents in Lerwick must mean that everyone is involved.

Watching the detectives

Jimmy’s land: DI Jimmy Perez on Shetland

With such mythology and you’d hazard ghosts and secrets, Shetland is the perfect backdrop for a detective show.

Step up the laconic and world-weary DI Jimmy Perez, the hero of Ann Cleeves’s book which has become an international hit.

Not that you need to worry that this archipelago of islands is a hotbed of crime…

No more than our other winter TV pleasure Death In Paradise, set in the fictional island of Saint Maree, but filmed in Guadeloupe, is murder island.

How to get there

When the boat comes in: Ferry to Shetland

Well, do you want the long or the short story?

The long way around (13 hours overnight) is on North Link Ferries from Aberdeen to Lerwick.

Either as a foot passenger or with your vehicle.

It’s £46.40 return if you want to bunker down on a set of seats, or £156.40 for a cabin.

But if you would prefer to fly… we found £425pp with Loganair.

I guess we’ll hunker down in our sleeping pod then.

And perhaps take in a film in on the ship’s cinema, a drink (or four) and a meal in the restaurant.

Don’t worry, this is one ship that won’t catch fire.

A postscript

No man is an island: But we could do with one

Now Jimmy G, Jimmy Snr if you will, has departed to be with the gods in the heavens.

But as his Son and Heir and with the Outlaws still around I don’t mind taking possession of that dowry we never did get…

Something to match Shetland the best wedding gift in the world.

I have my eye on Tobago in the Caribbean.

After a first year and summer away at University I was told in no uncertain terms to get back for Christmas with my family instead of going off with friends… all of which comes to mind with Storm Barra and island it’s named after.

Its Ireland’s turn to take over the alphabet of storms that are coming our way in Britain.

Unbeknown to me we’re in a mini-union with the Netherlands and Ireland (nobody tell the Brexiteers?).

And we’re flagging up storms with user-friendly and cuddly names.

Why Ireland have chosen Barra I’ve not got to the bottom of yet as it’s a Scottish island.

It may, of course, be named after Northern Ireland’s popular TV weather forecaster Barra Best, and be a hands across the border gesture.

Though quite what Irish fashion maven and weather forecaster Evelyn Cusack had to say about that.

And the fact that Eunice (who?) has got the ‘E’ I’d hate to think.

Anyway, back to the Irish storm alphabet, and apologies for not name-checking Arwen at the start of this round.

And again quite what the half-elven daughter of Elrond from Lord of the Rings has to do with Ireland is again a hole in my knowledge.

Life’s a Scottish beach

Back to Barra and it is only the fifth most scenic airport in the world.

Behind my Dear Old Mum’s beloved Donegal and some others.

Barra though lays claim to being the only regular beach runway.

It is served by Loganair and our browse found a return ticket from Glasgow to Barra from £71.99. The view and landing is free.

While landing on a beach means you can wear your flip-flops, if you’re an eternal optimist.

Having done the old seaplane in the Maldives, I surely must bookend it with the beach landing.

We’re pleased to see the Vikings are still coming with routes from Scandinavia.

Of course, you can also reach the island by the arterial Caledonian MacBrayne ferry, universally known as CalMac by Gaels and Barra lovers.

The Vikings were here

And while we’re here why Barra?

And some more flesh on the bone of Storm Barra and island it’s named after.

Because the Vikings were here and named it in Old Norse barr and ey, meaning rough island.

And by Vikings I mean Viking, with the ancient Grettis saga telling us ‘Omund the Wooden-Leg’ was the first to pitch up.

Although I imagine he had ‘Scariur The Evil Eye’ there too to keep an eye on him with all those sheep around.

The Vikings ruled Barra as part of its Southern Islands, or Suðreyjar, from the 9th century through to the 13th century, bar a short period when Somerled declared independence.

Barra has only actually been part of Scotland since 1266 as part of the Treaty of Perth and the payment of a large sum of money.

Priceless Barra

And if you’ve been to the Western Isles’ most southerly island (stay with me here) then you’ll know it’s been money well spent.

Money, in fact, isn’t the most important currency on the island, if the following story is anything to go by.

Ian MacNeill leased the stunning Kisimul Castle, off the coast of capital Castlebay, in 2000 out of patriotic fervour, to VisitScotland for 1,000 years… for £1 and one bottle of whisky per annum!

Walk this way

Like all our remote areas our tourism chiefs have jumped on them to promote walking routes.

And despite being in a chain of islands, Barra is no different, and is part of the Hebridean Way.

Whether you need to take your swimming gear or not but you can check out the island hop from here up to the northernmost isle of Lewis.

Call of Nature

Seal Bay is pretty much what it says on the tin.

While Cleat on the east of the 23sqmile island is where you want to go if you’re a surfer.

It’s probably a bit safer to be a historian (guilty) and The Dualchas Heritage Centre has all Barra’s rich history.

Whisky galore

So we’ll all take shelter this week (I hate the old newspaper phrase ‘batten down the hatches’).

And we’ll reflect on Storm Barra and island it’s named after.

And perhaps if you are going to be homebound (hello?, we’re back in Covid lockdown territory again).

Then you can order an oul’ favourite book, Compton Mackenzie’s Whisky Galore!, to occupy you.

Or watch the Ealing film.

Celtic society: With Barra boy Andy, Iona, South Uist’s Martin

Basically, it pinches the true story of when the SS Politician ran aground off Barra’s neighbouring island Eriskay in the Second World War.

With a cargo including 28,000 cases of malt whisky as well as other trade goods headed for Jamaica and New Orleans

The locals from the two islands, one protestant Great Todday (Eriskay) and one catholic Little Todday (Barra) have different reactions to the whisky and cash shipwrecked off their islands.

Of course if you know modern-day Hebrideans you’ll know whisky is the religion which unites both catholic and protestant.

And much was drunk by my friends that Christmas which is why I’ll be toasting The Hebridean, my old friend Finlay.

I trust he will be on Cloud Nine up in Heaven now with his dram. Slainte Big Man.