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They look unthreatening but we wouldn’t advise challenging the Swiss Guards tackling the pure selfiesness of Insta Papal pics.

It would, of course, be too much to expect that people would respect Francis’s dignity.

By desisting from stealing a selfie with the Pope as he lies in state in St Peter’s Basilica.

And I can’t imagine my mum’s cousins, monks and nuns.

All in the same family, copying the sisters with mobiles at the Pope’s casket.

Processing the processions

Whatever the rights and wrongs of processions to visit a dignitary as they lie in state.

And we would argue that it elicits a gawkishness or overdeference among those who stand for hours to worship at a mortal’s feet.

Whether that be a queen, a president or a pope.

It must be wrong that the great modern icon of Insta-gratification has come to overrule normal rules and conventions.

And we won’t even get started at those who smile inanely at the gates of Auschwitz and other Holocaust or dark tourist sites.

World turns off its phones

Stick to this: The Beefeaters at the Tower of London

Back in the Vatican the Swiss Guards and Polizie have for now not brought the full force of the law down on the miscreants.

But the tide is turning around the world against the Insta-social behaviour which is ruining our visitors experiences.

At the moment the ban on selfies has been restricted to matters of safety and security.

And so visitors are forbidden from taking selfies, photos or videos in the Jewel House of the Tower of London where the Crown Jewels are kept.

The big beasts

No bull: Selfies are banned at the Running of the Bulls

Elsewhere it’s animals’ safety that is the consideration.

Theirs and ours with pics with the big cats ruled out in the zoos and circuses of New York.

And photos with bears are a no-no in Lake Tahoe in California.

Although the authorities would probably be best just letting the grizzlies enforce the law for them.

With some humans instinctively averse to boundaries the rules have to be laid down for them.

And so, and think about, the authorities have had to legislate against selfies at the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona.

Respect for religion

Now while that adrenaline rush is an athletic pilgrimage our spiritual odysseys also need protecting.

And the Islamic world does it best with the ban on selfies on the pilgrimage to Mecca.

Pilgrims only have a short time left in the snaking queue before the casket is closed tonight on the Pope.

Before his funeral tomorrow and Francis gets some peace from the throngs.

And the pure selfiesness of Insta Papal pics.

And a word (or 400) on those titans we’re seeing lying in state around the world from one who lies in a state around the world.

Pele and Pope Benedict have little in common on the surface of it.

But both are getting the full treatment.

With the footballing great laid out in his open coffin in Santos in Brazil.

And the holy man in open view in the Vatican State.

All of which draws the millions, probably more in truth in Pele’s case.

While the Vatican and Rome is always a throng of humankind.

And well, a Pope, even if he is an Emeritus, is still a Pope.

The Queen’s been

Of course it is a big outlay to pay homage to those whose deeds and words in life earn them such homage in death.

But possibly one worth making if the spectacle is limited time only.

And plans are in place for their burial or cremation.

All of which a lot of Brits and royal lovers around the world were prepared to pay big.

And queue long for the privilege of seeing the prostate Queen last year.

Now, history watchers too would know that it is the last time any of us would be able to see her in person.

There are those dearly departed though who we are able to see any time of the year.

If we just happen to be passing by who are lying in state.

In from the cold

Lenin, Moscow: Imagine being able to see Lenin in his goatee beardie pomp.

Well, millions have long after he departed the commune on account of him being embalmed.

The mausoleum is open to visitors every day in Red Square except Monday, Friday and Sunday, from 10am to 1pm, and admission is free.

Toot and come in

Tutankamhun, Egypt: OK, the boy pharaoh looks as if he has seen better days.

But then he did die in 1323BC and his mummy was only rediscovered in 1922.

You can see him in his glass box in the Valley of the Kings on the west bank of the Nile River, near Luxor.

Philosophy of life

Jeremy Bentham, London: One way of preserving your legacy if you’re a mere philosopher and not one of those famous ones like Socrates.

Bentham, who formulated the theory of utilitarianism, basically the happiness of everyone, can be found in the University College London whom he championed.

While the skeletal remains and wax head of Bentham remain in the Student Centre.

His actual head remains out of public view elsewhere at UCL.

The head was once stolen in a prank by students from the rival King’s College, and has ever since been kept under lock and key.

Cat and mouse game

Dublin’s Tom and Jerry: And a curio of that most curious and fun city, my old stomping ground, Dublin, is the crypt of Christ Church Cathedral.

And best described by James Joyce in Finnegans Wake.

When he described the cat and the mouse who were mummified in the church organ.

‘As stuck as that cat to that mouse in that tube of that Christchurch organ.’.

A delightful time tunnel and a great place to watch classical concerts and corporate and travel events.

It’s €6.00 for the rest of you adults and €4.00 for kiddies.

Cats and mice go free.

Mao-ser

Mao Zedong, Beijing: There were few, if any, who would go against the Chinese leader’s wishes when he ruled the Communist country with a rod of iron.

But when he was dead they mummified him against his wishes when he wanted to be cremated.

Chilling, well he is well cold by now, Mao lies draped in a crystal coffin.

In a red flag at the southern end of Beijing’s Tiananmen Square.

Me, I wouldn’t be so vain as to be lying in state around the world…

Just a statue will do, in my alma mater Aberdeen and instead of yon Millennium Spire on O’Connell Street in Dublin.

And anywhere else you want to remember your Bandanaman… come my time.

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Pure selfiesness of Insta Papal pics