Reini thought nothing of seeing his parents in the nude when he was a kid… after all he was starkers too.

Sorry, before you have to gouge out your eyes and rinse your brain, let me explain.

We were walking the hills and the mountains of Austria and Germany on our Topflight trip to Ehrwald, Tirol and Garmisch-Partenkirchen.

When the conversation got round to the sauna at our hotel

Photo by Breakingpic on

Where I had spent 20 minutes the previous evening in the company of Cork Sean and Cork Mick.

Who had kept their swimming shorts on, as did I.

We’re Scottish and Irish after all.

Put a Cork in it

Reini couldn’t understand though. After all don’t we all come into the world in the nude, he enquired, with his Austrian vertical smile.

Not, British or Irish people I argued.

Still, I am making progress and the following evening I went into the sauna again in the nude and if Cork Sean and Cork Mick had come in and seen me with my Mickey out then so be it.

I had overcome some of my reservations on a previous trip to Soll.

When I went to the sauna and saw everyone else was in the nude so I dispensed with said shorts.

I was blindsided a bit when a bulky Austrian Thirtysomething came in and sat down between me and his girlfriend.

Eyes forward and behave down there.

But at least it did give me the opportunity for a breakfast set-up the following morning.

When the Austrian couple sat down at the table next to us.

Did I have the nerve to say to her within earshot of the Scary One?: ‘Sorry, I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on?’

Go figure.

I love saunas and hammams, one of the best of the latter is in Istanbul where Florence Nightingale, Rudolf Nureyev, John Travolta, Kate Moss and East 17 go when they are in town.

This is what I thought of it all…

And you’ll get a nice cup of sweet, sweet Turkish tea after or if you’re so inclined a glass of Marmaris wine.

Published by funtime65

Lets dance! I’ve waltzed with Judy Murray, partied with Brian Lara, manned the barricades with Civil Rights leader Myrlie Evers and even unmasked The Donald as a mariachi fan. Join me (and my bandana) on a madcap tour of the world with the people who make it all possible, our wonderful travel providers.

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