I’m a danger to myself in water but I’ve been promised that I’ll be in surf hands at Sea Retreat.
Marina Nieves and Callum Jelley (yeah, he’ll have heard all the gags) live in the sea and will show you how you can too.
From the looks of it Marina and Callum are those chilled type of surfers who have a limitless patience.
And they’d need every ounce to turn this landlubber into a sea creature.
McDaid in Ireland
As Irish surfer Gearoid McDaid will tell you having propped me up on the FlowRider surf simulator.
I love the idea of surfing more than the falling off the board and swallowing salty sea water.
That while the rest of you might have come out of the sea I climbed down the trees.
Surfer dude vibe
I do though love the sound of the surfer dude lifestyle.
And Gearoid will hang at home waiting until the tide is high and take off wherever that is around the world.
Marina and Callum offer that laid-back Spanish vibe around the surf school.
After mornings on the swell you can turn in for a siesta.
Or get on your horsey along the beach.
Or hike the natural landscapes of the Atlantic coast and take in hilltop town, the Vejer de la Frontera.
If the mid-20s temps tire you out you can always sign up to a yoga session in a Mongolian yurt.
Deal me in
The Sea Retreat will run weekly (Sunday to Saturday) from 18 September to 24 June and will cost from £699pp.
They need a minimum four people for the surf camp to take place.
Price includes accommodation, five surf lessons (plus theory), one sunset/sunrise surf, two video analysis sessions (take a breath).
Daily breakfast, five lunches and five dinners, beer, wine, and soft drinks on arrival, and time to enjoy other activities.
Bicycles and surfing gear are also available to borrow.
The Sea Retreat also welcomes families.
And they will adapt the schedule depending on how much surfing everyone and the ages of the children; price is on request.
Fly me to the dune
Fly from London Stansted/London Gatwick to Jerez de la Frontera Airport from £65pp return.
The transfer from Jerez Airport to El Palmar takes less than an hour.
Alternatively, fly direct from London Stansted/London Gatwick/Edinburgh/Dublin to Sevilla Airport from as little as £55pp return.
The transfer from Sevilla Airport to El Palmar takes two hours.
Call Marina (+34 625 02 55 64) or Callum (+34 667 792 400).
And they’ll put you at ease… you’ll be in surf hands at Sea Retreat in Spain.