Pardon Monsieur Gendarme but I promise to be a better Ecosse touristique.
Dans mon best Franglais.
We were four late teenage enfants on our post-school camping vacation to the French Riviera.
On a budget which meant sleeping on the platform of Paris Gare Saint-Lazare.
Where we were awoken from our Parisian repose by two gun-toting gendarme shouting Arisez.
Not something you’d be used to in the Scotland of the Eighties when batons were the cops’ weapon de jour.
Dans les rues
Now the French gendarmerie are out in spécial force just now to quell their race riots.
And tourists are advised to take caution and consider their travel arrangements just now.
Because the French are a revolting people and take to the streets at the drop of a chapeau.
Things will return to normal, naturellement, and the 45,000 gendarme out on les rues will retreat to regular numbers.
And tourists will go back to taking the gendarmerie on the boulevards in their stride.
Riviera runabout
And that is those who choose to stick to the boulevards.
Which wouldn’t count the Feral Four who went walkabout on the main street in Saint Raphael.
When tipsy on the local booze we decided to take on their duties and direct the traffic.
Before we were chased off back to our camp.
So I’ve grown up somewhat (no, really) since and have kept the law in Cannes.
Law of the land
Now I’ve learned to respect local rules wherever you are in the world and the gendarme, or polizie, or whatever.
And how I could have done with someone telling me that when I was accosted by a false guide in Marrakech.
But that’s another l’histoire for another jour.
Pour aujourd’hui enjoy your French vacation, be it the City of Lights or the Cote D’Azur, Biarritz or Burgundy, Normandy or Val D’Isere.
And to keep your vacation en route maybe take a deep breath and parlez… pardon Monsieur Gendarme.