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Countries, Culture, Europe, UK

Hello Good Bayeux

12th July 202512th July 2025 funtime65

Hello Good Bayeux I don’t know why you say Hello I say Good Bayeux.

And apologies to The Beatles who really have nothing to do with this yarn other than this being a magical mystery tour.

Of course, Keir Starmer is claiming the loan of the William the Conqueror Battle of Hastings drape as a victory.

But the reasons are rather more prosaic and more to do with filthy lucre.

As the Bayeux Museum is undertaking a two-year €35m refurb back in Normandy.

Which obviously means the French need somewhere to store the cloth.

Merci bien

Cynics will say that Emmanuel Macron will have extracted a price from Britain in the swap.

And while we’re not sure if the Sutton Hoo ship burial, the Lewis chessmen and other artefacts have the same pull as the tapestry.

It will bring coins into the coffers.

Of course, Britain won’t be giving away a look at the tapestry.

And although entry to the British Museum in London is gratis special exhibitions come at a cost.

The price of cloth

And judging by the £18 admission price for current display Hiroshige: artist of the open road we can expect Bayeux to be pitched considerably higher.

Particularly as the 230ft long and 50cm high tapestry features 58 scenes.

In four stitches and thread in 10 natural dye colours.

Including 623 humans, more than 700 animals, 37 buildings and 41 ships and other vessels plus 94 penises, or they could be swords.

We’ll leave you then to do the math with Bayeux reporting they see 400,000 visitors a year, charging €12.

And, no we don’t know the ancient Norman or English for Kerching.

Scotland’s story

Of course, while Bayeux may be the world’s most famous drape we in our northern outpost of Scotland boast our own cloth.

Now the tapestry may be rather newer at 12 years old than Bayeux.

Which dates back to 1070 but Scottish history is just as old and illustrious as its neighbour.

The Great Tapestry of Scotland is housed appropriately in the weaving town of Galashiels in the Scottish Borders.

With tickets priced at £12.50.

Game of Thrones in Belfast

Sew naughty: The Game of Thrones Tapestry

The power of the tapestry is clearly still as absorbing to modern advanced sensibilities as it was to illiterate Medieval peasants.

And, of course, it is always a blank canvas to weave whatever story you wish to tell.

With inevitably Game of Thrones getting in on the action in its spiritual home of the North of Ireland.

At the excellent Ulster Museum in Belfast where those who like their tapestries guttural can see a murder on the privy.

And all free but we’d recommend you make a donation.

So Hello Good Bayeux to the latest tapestry addition to these islands, albeit temporary with the exhibition slated for September 2026.

And just think even if you do have to shell out £18 that’s probably 20p each Willie.

Countries, Culture, Europe

Bayeux Tapestry and the weave of history

26th March 202526th March 2025 funtime65

So because after 1000 years it needs some sprucing up check it out now… Bayeux Tapestry and the weave of history.

The Medieval version of a Netflix drama, the scroll of the Battle of Hastings is getting taken down for a clean-up from this September.

There’s a lot of activity around the old 68m-long drape and William the Conqueror in the Bayeux Museum.

In preparation for William the Conqueror’s Millennium 2027 celebrations in Normandy.

All of which we on my islands of Britain and Ireland are being asked to get in on.

With the Bayeux Museum £32m revamp and the construction of a contemporary extension.

To reflect the “monumental nature of the tapestry”.

History is the new rock’n’roll

Twas all very showbiz we imagine back in the 11th century.

And because history is the new rock’n’roll a little bit of glitz here for you.

The Bayeux Museum recently acquired an 1872 lifesize replica of the tapestry from the estate of Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts.

And it will use this to track the deterioration and alterations to the tapestry over the last 150 years.

Phil steam ahead

Against all odds: But Phil has left an Alamo cornucopia

Rockers dabbling in history is actually not novel which shouldn’t be surprising as a good story is naturally in our artists’ DNA.

With Phil Collins the modern poster boy with his catalogue of Alamo artefacts which he donated to San Antonio in Texas.

And which, of course, I saw first hand in the pride of the Lone Star State and you should too.

Back to the Bayeux and what can you expect when the Museum reopens in two years’ time.

Well, the tapestry will be installed behind a display case on an inclined table measuring the full 70m length of the tapestry.

And it should be breathtaking if design studo Atelier BLAM’s past work is anything to go by.

With the designers showcasing their expertise at the opening ceremony of the Paris 2024 Olympic Games.

With the creation of the mechanical horse galloping along the river Seine.

How to get there

Yes we Caen: This year’s Millennium city

And Normandy is, of course, easy to reach, by trains, planes, ferries and automobiles.

With ferries leaving from Portsmouth, Poole, Newhaven, Dublin, and Rosslare.

And 101 train stations across the region.

Or fly into Caen which has its own millennium celebrations this year.

And where you can get into part with the medieval reenactments, parades, concerts and theatrical performances.

Countries, Deals, Europe

Beat battlefield fatigue on a Normandy landings tour

6th June 20246th June 2024 funtime65

We, of course, are history’s observers, but for the day that’s in it, here’s how to beat battlefield fatigue on a Normandy landings tour.

Dermot, our legendary tour guide, defined the phenomenon for us.

Which some, but certainly not I, were feeling on our coach.

In Flanders and in the Somme on our GTI pilgrimage back in the day.

As we covered battlefield after battlefield, cemetery after cemetery, for the centennial anniversary of the Battle of the Somme.

It is Normandy’s turn today to face the glare of the world’s gaze as we mark eight decades since 150,000 Allied troops landed in France.

Big round numbers fix our concentration but, of course, every year, every month, every day, our ancestors move that little bit further away.

That they don’t disappear altogether is entirely because of organisations like the Commonwealth Graves Commission.

And tour companies such as GTI which runs a four-day tour from €859pp.

You will arrive in Paris and transfer to Pegasus Bridge Memorial before being taken to your hotel.

Well rested, a luxury not afforded to the soldiers of 1944, you’ll be escorted the next day to the landing sites.

Those you have seen and heard of from Hollywood blockbusters, Sword, Juno & Gold.

It is important to remember too the bravery and sacrifices of ordinary German and Axis troops joined the battle.

Visit Longues-sur-Mer the WW2 artillery battery that formed a part of Germany’s Atlantic Wall coastal fortifications.

And take in the Juno Beach Centre in Courseulles-Sur-Mer documenting the 14,000 Canadian troops that landed in 1944.

And also visit the Arromanches Landing Museum and Ranville War Cemetery.

Day 3 will take you to the iconic Utah and Omaha sites.

And La Cambe German Cemetery near Bayeux and the St Laurent-sur-Mer American Cemetery.

And take in beautiful Sainte-Mère-Église, one of the first towns liberated.

Now in a reminder that the English Channel or La Manche has long been a corridor of war your last day will see you explore Bayeux.

The Bayeux Military Cemetery is the largest Commonwealth cemetery of the Second World War in France.

Its memorial bears the 1800 names of forces who have no known grave.

While there will be plenty of free time in Bayeux with an option to see the Bayeux Tapestry story of William the Conqueror’s liberation of England.

Before returning by executive coach to Paris Airport for your return flight to Dublin.

GTI run a range of dates including this October and across the Normandy Landings dates next year.

Safe in the knowledge that there will be a tour guide just like Dermot.

To beat battlefield fatigue on a Normandy landings tour.

Countries, Culture, UK

Happy Hoginane

31st December 202331st December 2023 funtime65

It’ll pass almost every Scot here or around the world by, but what we’ll be celebrating today is a Happy Hoginane.

No, not auto correct gone wrong but the French name of our New Year’s Eve celebration Hogmanay.

Meaning ‘gala day’ in Gaul lingo.

The French having played a key role in Scottish history through their Auld Alliance with us Jocks.

And that nickname Jocks for Scots is a French buy-in too from the Stuart dynasty.

You know, those hairy-arsed Scots who went on to rule Britain.

Mary New Year

It all started with Mary Queen of Scots, who was married to the Dauphin, the heir to the French throne.

And returned widowed to Edinburgh with her French ways, language, courtiers and servants.

And bore the last of the Scottish King Jameses (there were seven in total).

Or Jacques, or Jocks, when the Scots have mangled it to their tongue.

Well, we all know about the showcase Edinburgh Hogmanay Party on Princes Street.

Where this year it will be Pulp’s turn to wow the common people.

Bonne annee

But in the land which spawned Hogmanay they still celebrate Hoginane under the radar of the fireworks over L’Arc de Triomphe and the Eiffel Tower.

The French celebrate with le Réveillon de
Saint-Sylvestre with a feast including pancakes and champagne.

Another version and one that makes more sense to us is that it derives from ‘homme est ne’ or ‘man is born’.

From Normandy where they exchange hoguignetes, presents given at this time of year.

It’s a gift

Gift giving is an enduring theme of the Hogmanay in Scotland where for 400 years the New Year took precedence over Christmas Day.

With marking 25th December considered by the Protestant ascendancy then as a Catholic construct.

And pupils, my Dear Old Dad among them, attending school that day.

Among the pressies given out around Hogmanay through into the New Year with black bun fruit cake, coal, shortbread and whisky.

And all carried in across your door soon after midnight by a tall, dark stranger.

The thought process being that a fair stranger would be a Viking and bad luck… all that pillaging you’d think.

Now should you be oot and aboot in Scotland enjoy and maybe impress your pals with a Bonne Année, or Happy New Year.

And a Happy Hoginane.

Countries, Europe

Pardon Monsieur Gendarme

1st July 20231st July 2023 funtime65

Pardon Monsieur Gendarme but I promise to be a better Ecosse touristique.

Dans mon best Franglais.

We were four late teenage enfants on our post-school camping vacation to the French Riviera.

On a budget which meant sleeping on the platform of Paris Gare Saint-Lazare.

Where we were awoken from our Parisian repose by two gun-toting gendarme shouting Arisez.

Not something you’d be used to in the Scotland of the Eighties when batons were the cops’ weapon de jour.

Dans les rues

Now the French gendarmerie are out in spécial force just now to quell their race riots.

And tourists are advised to take caution and consider their travel arrangements just now.

Because the French are a revolting people and take to the streets at the drop of a chapeau.

Things will return to normal, naturellement, and the 45,000 gendarme out on les rues will retreat to regular numbers.

And tourists will go back to taking the gendarmerie on the boulevards in their stride.

Riviera runabout

Seeing rouge: And a rouge card for the Feral Four

And that is those who choose to stick to the boulevards.

Which wouldn’t count the Feral Four who went walkabout on the main street in Saint Raphael.

When tipsy on the local booze we decided to take on their duties and direct the traffic.

Before we were chased off back to our camp.

So I’ve grown up somewhat (no, really) since and have kept the law in Cannes.

Law of the land

Now I’ve learned to respect local rules wherever you are in the world and the gendarme, or polizie, or whatever.

And how I could have done with someone telling me that when I was accosted by a false guide in Marrakech.

But that’s another l’histoire for another jour.

Pour aujourd’hui enjoy your French vacation, be it the City of Lights or the Cote D’Azur, Biarritz or Burgundy, Normandy or Val D’Isere.

And to keep your vacation en route maybe take a deep breath and parlez… pardon Monsieur Gendarme.

America, Caribbean, Countries, Europe

International Women

8th March 20228th March 2022 funtime65

International Women don’t you just love ’em? I even married one.

On today’s International Women’s Day a shout-out then to some of the international women who took me under their wing.

Of course, the international woman of mystery whose oxter always gives me shade is my own English rose.

Boss woman: Mum’s the word, and Sadie too

And there are many more women from our nearest neighbours in Travel who have guided me on my path than I have room here to mention.

Now if anything underscores this year’s message on International Women’s Day #BeattheBias it is the success of those who occupy the biggest positions in our trade.

And so ladies take a bow, I would be nothing without you… you are all worthy Bandanettes.

White knight

Power women: Bandanaman, Jo, Cathy and United Airlines’ Aoife

Organising my life is hard enough left to just one man which is why I leave that job to my aforementioned English rose.

But when you’re on your travels to the good old Oo Es of Eh you really do need someone on the ground.

And that someone is Jo White who heads up the UK & Ireland media delegation for the American Travel Fair.

I know I speak for all of us indulged travellers who have sought her out to help with dodgy dongles, accommodation and transfers.

And who have danced the night away to the best music acts put on by her American counterpart and fellow superstar Cathy Keefe Reynolds.

In return, all they ask is to promote America (you’re welcome) and in particular Washington DC, the Capital Region, Kissimmee, Florida, Oregon and Yukon chief among them.

Bates’ Hotel

Now hosts have a right, nay an obligation, to enjoy the activities they put on for us.

And after Attraction Tickets’ Kate Bates had asked me for recommendations for our party to take on in Hollywood she’d have expected me to take part.

Alas, the generosity of a stranger (moi) to take a passenger’s ski bag meant I was out of commission.

For the day Kate, Jon, Helen and Heather trekked up to see the Hollywood sign, check out Warner Studios and go on a boat trip.

I did have more to write about my West Hollywood hotel though that day.

And I did bounce back to see old friends at Universal Studios the next day.

Ms Carter

I love a strong woman, probably as I’m begotten of an Irish Mammy.

And in the Caribbean they don’t come much stronger than Cheryl Carter, Barbados’s Head of Global Markets.

One raised eyebrow will quickly remind you that there will be no going AWOL on her trip.

And so I was left in no doubt when I asked early leave from our dinner to hook up with my half-Scots/half-Trinidadian pal Jevan for Foreday Morning of my obligations.

To be ready for the next day’s activities.

Now what happens at Foreday Morning stays on Foreday Morning.

But when I turned up for our meeting with my leg gashed open I gritted my teeth… the rum through the day helped.

Cheryl is a Bajan through and through, firm, with a heart of gold and I was glad to be her patsy when the Bajans and Scots Travel trade met last year in Edinburgh.

Marsha law

Keep an eye on you: With SLM and Marsha in Tobago

If we’re honest no man likes to take orders (advice) from womenfolk.

But when that woman is the larger than life Marsha Patrick, of the Tobago Tourist board then you’re better just giving in to her.

And so when Marsha quizzed our little group on what occupied us outside work she found a real patsy in your Bandanaman.

Of course it was always going to be tough to follow proud Middlesbrough man and local football club archivist Anthony who only built his own house.

Marsha was less than impressed by my poetry prowess or goat racing ability.

‘Jim, you got no skills,’ she bellowed in her thick Tobagonian patois, rocking the mini-coach with her laughter.

A whole lotta Rosie

One of the best qualities of women is how forgiving they can be.

And Rosie Barcroft has certainly led the way there after I almost brought the roof down in Switzerland.

Waking late, I’d taken a quick shower before hooking up with a by now impatient park for our trek through the Alps.

Trouble was ahead though when I got back to the hotel.

And I was greeted by a stern hotel owner who informed me that the water had seeped into the breakfast room.

Whether I’d be welcome back in that Interlaken hotel is another question but miraculously the Swiss still come calling.

And even when one wonderful ambassador departs (Sara Roloff for Japan) another old pal Vive La Fran Lambert decamps from Normandy.

Most importantly Rosie is still on side and we’ll be skiing in Val d’Isere later this month.

I’ll be showering outside this time.

Of course, all international women should be celebrated, and not least Daddy’s Little Girl.

And I’m happy to do so.. here’s to you International Women.

Countries, Cruising, Europe, Food & Wine

Vin, biere et Le Supermarche

21st August 2021 funtime65

Vin, biere et Le Supermarche. For many the first port of call, or the very reason to visit France.

Back as a cub reporter the big newspaper promotion was cheap car ferry deals to fill your boots with booze.

But the Francophiles for a day, of course, missed the point… you need to stay and enjoy the country for a while.

Irish Ferries to France

Irish Ferries is bringing back its wine mini-breaks.

Across Le Manche to France, with a special wine-tasting in Cherbourg from €99pp each way pps.

And a detour here on our journey, as is our wont, down La Voie de Mémoiire.

Back as a schoolboy on my first trip abroad with my pals and my palette hadn’t evolved enough to appreciate the grape.

Which meant I had to seek out bier from Le Supermarche to drink by our tent and on the beach.

Only all the lesser-known, cheaper brands are en francais.

And so what I thought were 24 bottles of bier ended up being shandy. Un faute d’élève.

Of course I couldn’t admit it to my wine-drinking pals.

Stop that train

Ra boys: Chris, Mackie, an early Bandanaman and Adam

Another challenge presented itself when we were heading for the train back from Saint Raphael.

And while the boys had stocked up on vino… moi? I had to find some take-away beer.

It being Gaul and not Glasgow there were no off-licences and Le Supermarche was on the other side of town.

Which meant me only getting back to the train to see it pulling away and Mackie, Adam and Chris at the window, glasses of red in hand.

How did I get back? That’s another l’histoire.

Norman request

You wouldn’t want to have to find your own way back to Ireland… nor should you.

When you’re chasing down vin, biere et Le Supermarche.

Particularly as Irish Ferries will give you two nights in Normandy at €99pps each way.

And a special wine-tasting ceremony in Cherbourg in conjunction with Wine Beer Supermarket.

Sailing dates available are September 9, 16, 23, 30.

Poetry in motion

You’ll be sailing on the swanky WB Yeats (or WB Yachts) as I like to call it.

Where you don’t have to rush around town or chase down trains.

There’s vin, biere et Le Supermarche.

Countries, Europe, Ireland, UK

French voluntary rules… comme ci, comme ca

14th August 202014th August 2020 funtime65

Merde! My Normandy Monet trip is in the balance after the UK imposed a two-week quarantine on travellers late last night.

In balance, oui. Because there is the option of going and just quarantining on the way back.

Because work for many of us lucky enough to find any is confined to our computer in our office/bedrooom.

And remember to check out if you are covered by your Travel insurance.

Bravo: On World Cup final day at the French Embassy in Paris

Insure you’re ca va

Or what your holiday providers will do for you if you are caught short out there.

Or because there is the slim chance that the infection rates may dip in the next two weeks and France may yet be taken off the exempt list.

But equally as important is whether France impose Le Tit pour Tat.

No, not a porn film But a reciprocal two-week quarantine.

Le Tour: And I’ve made it to the top

Don’t treat us like enfants

The insouciant French have opted for voluntary quarantine thus fat…

France is leaving the choice up to ‘the public’s sense of responsibility’.

For now the greatest evacuation since Dunkirk is upon us as Britons try to get back before 4am tomorrow morning, Saturday 15, August.

Ferry good

These days thankfully we don’t have to resort to fishing boats, and have Brittany Ferries instead.

I have been looking forward to Brittany Ferries and Normandy Tourisme‘s trip to Normandy ever since it came in.

To extend my French education which includes Paris, Strasbourg, Saint-Raphael, Mandelieu, Lourdes and the Pyrenees and Biarritz.

We’ll leave that to the UK Government. And judging by their record on education an algorithm will probably extend the quarantine to toujours.

Malta and Amsterdam too

pexels-photo-1790573 — Get on your bike… if only we could

And let’s not forget that Malta and the Netherlands are in the soup as well as Monaco but then who among us can afford to holiday there?

We did on our much-storied post-school trip to Saint-Raphael on the French Riviera, taking a very scenic train journey out.

You won’t be able to though because… guess what, our politicians have banned us both ways.

Asia, Countries, Culture, Europe, Ireland, UK

Holidos and don’ts – the exempt list

7th August 20207th August 2020 funtime65

I never thought the fortunes of Brunei and Malaysia would mean so much to me.

But the half-island country and the peninsula in south-east Asia are giving hope to deflated travellers.

Because they are back on the exempt list of countries from where you don’t have to self-isolate on return to the UK.

Which means that those countries that have been stuck back on the exempt list, most notably Spain and Portugal have a way back.

And I am still spitting that the Covid-lite Canary Islands, 1500 miles south of Spain, are on the list.

And the same goes for Portuguese islands Madeira and the Azores

Splendid isolation in Tenerife

Both are known for their lush gardens, and the mother-in-law has long been hankering to go out to Madeira, mentioning it again only yesterday.

With the current lightning changes you can find yourself rushed away from your destination, or forced to sit it out until things change.

So when you do get out there Even Scarier One then don’t feel you need to rush back. Enjoy yourself.

Most of us wouldn’t have noticed.

But the UK Government slipped the change in Brunei and Malaysia’s status into their most recent pronouncements on the exempt list.

Which saw Belgium, Andorra and the Bahamas put back on the naughty list.

Us Francophiles are now getting nervous about our plans for France.

And again our politicians are stubbornly ignoring the option of selective lockdowns.

Because Lyon, Paris and the Riviera aren’t Normandy. I said they aren’t Normandy!

Now back to those exotic destinations Brunei and Malaysia, if they want me to sample their wares they know where to find me.