https://www.rct.uk/visit/windsor-castle Archives - Jim Murty’s TravelTravelTravel

Everyone has their own altered reality of who they are so I admit it, I’m a copy Kate too around the world.

And aren’t we all, airbrushing here and pretending we’re somebody we’re not?

And so for this Irish-Scot, schooled in Classical Greece and Rome, with a tranche of Irish-American rellies I’ve channelled all their icons.

Now, far from wanting to come in and do a fixer’s job for the Windsors.

But I’ve always found that the best way of redressing a pile on is to send yourself up.

Altered images

And so if Kate Middleton put out a Picasso-type photo of herself and her sprogs then she could show that she can laugh at herself.

Now four score months and seven days ago (or thereabouts) I brought forth my Presidency.

See, there I am, writing an order in the White House in DC.

And, I was entitled to do so, having been given the authority by no less a figure than George Washington himself.

Now, I’ve been photographed with many an American icon over the years.

Martin Luther King, Elvis Presley, Annie Oakley and more recently Donald Trump, although he probably met them all too.

Of course, I fought too in the American Civil War.

In fact much like the Universal Soldier of Donovan’s song or the Rolling Stones Sympathy for the Devil I was there for the major events in history.

With the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and Archduchess Sophia in Sarajevo at the time of their assassination which triggered the First World War.

And spooky this, she too like Kate was of ‘common stock’

Then modern rock royalty in Cliff Richard in Portugal and R&B (that’ll be Rihanna and Bandanaman) in her native Barbados.

And danced with Judy Murray and sung with Natasha Bedingfield… you can make up your mind on those last two name drops.

Now, there’s the old saying about fake it till you make it.

Now admitting it is the first step which is why I acknowledge I’m a copy Kate around the world.

Kate though has it the other way round down Kensington Palace way as she prefers to make it till she fakes it.

A journey through England’s heartland is a step back through time but that’s enough politics, on with Travel Department’s invitation to visit Olde England.

It’s a world I know well from cutting my teeth as a scribe in the Royal County of Berkshire.

Where the royal family were neighbours down the road in Windsor.

The Royal County of Berkshire has given the world its most radiant (no not Waity Katie), English rose but my own succulent Sadie.

And it is ideally placed, and you’d expect the Windsors to bag the best locations, to explore the verdant Cotswolds, Shakespeare country, Royal Berkshire and London itself.

TD will base you in horse racing country, Cheltenham in their five-day guided package.

So without further ado, here’s TD’s skinny on the heart of England.

You’ll explore Shakespeare’s birthplace in Stratford-Upon-Avon and visit Anne Hathaway’s Cottage.

Spend a day visiting the scenic villages of the Cotswolds (MC Beaton’s Agatha Raisin anybody?)

And travel back to Ancient British Rome and Jane Austen’s England of manners (what happened to them?)

On another full day excursion, you’ll discover Oxford University.

And pay a visit to Queen Elizabeth II’s weekend palace, Windsor Castle.

Where back in the day I used to rub shoulders with Her Maj at her beloved country pursuits extravaganza, The Windsor Show.

Lizzie would dress down (headscarf, tweeds, sensible shoes) which threw one car park steward.

When he asked for her pass.

One alert journo, not me but remember I was still cutting my teeth, spotted the scene.

And sold the story to a national newspaper who put a picture of the monarch on their front page.

With a strap: ‘For the only person in the UK who doesn’t recognise this woman… THE QUEEN’.

And because we here are a public service and because we’ve not seen much of him of late, this is the current monarch.

The TD tour departs on August 10 from €959pp including return flights and transfers.

And five nights’ B&B basis in the 3* Holiday Inn Express Cheltenham with guide.