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The anticipation was at fever pitch ahead of The One Show announcement… no, not Eurovision but on Britain’s blooming with my Flower of England.

And in this one we have skin in the game with My Green-Fingered One and her North Berwick in Bloom team in the Britain in Bloom contest.

It is NB’s good fortune that they have someone on their team who brings the English country garden with her.

My love grows where my Sadie goes

My English Rose has got her hands dirty wherever I’ve taken her, Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Liverpool, Co. Wicklow.

Where I treated her to a busman’s holiday at one of her favourite places, Powerscourt Hotel.

Tulips from Amsterdam

Flowers everywhere: At the Dylan in Amsterdam

And when we’re away too with tulips from Amsterdam from the Tulip Museum planted for the autumn and ready to spring next year.

We all have our own indulgences on our travels and you’ll know well I like to go where the locals ‘play and pray’.

Italia’s green and pleasant land

While My Green-Fingered One loves to dig out a gardens which meant the Villa Borghese in Rome and Villa d’Este, Tivoli.

Now I’ve oft been somewhere and thought my wee petal might enjoy the charms of a maze.

Such as the one Napoleon used to play in the Villa Pisani near Padova

Flower of Ireland: My mum in our old garden in Greystones, Co. Wicklow

The Parco Fauna Orobica in Bergamo, the lungs for the northern Italian city at the time of Covid.

And Padova is of course itself famed for its grounds, the world’s oldest academical botanical gardens, dating back to 1545.

Where the thing to do is to live it up with a sit down tux meal with full orchestra.

Bloomin’ Barbados

Or more recently in the St Nicholas Abbey grounds in Barbados.

Where another of her passions can be indulged… there’s a steam train line there too.

And on the sea

Of course it’s not just on land that you’ll see great gardens… there’s the Eden project on Celebrity Edge too off Florida.

And Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas in Barcelona.

Although it’s sometimes best not to show her everything.

For fear that she’ll not let me away on my own again.

Now the judges only agreed with me, and North Berwick won Best Coastal award.

But I could have told them all about my Flower of England.

She’s Britain’s blooming marvel.

Napoleon was a fan, and é vero Italy is amazing, although Parma is amazeballs.

And si, we too have gone round in circles in the very same labyrinth near Padova.

And the Villa Pisani’s Labyrinth of Love by the River Brenta is where Bony and his pals, and Mussolini and Hitler too, played.

Because the prize for those who can find their way into the centre was a fair maiden.

String theory

Labyrinths have been with us since Classical Days when Theseus saved the children of Athens from being eaten.

Armed with a ball of string and a sword given to him by the comely Princess Ariadne.

Of course if I’d been paying attention in my Greek class in school I would have known to take string with me to Boney’s maze.

I did though escape, to get lost another day…

And that day was along the Via Francigena from Viterbo in Lazio into Rome in an olive grove.

And peeling pilgrim stickers to guide you on your way.. like pre-Sat Nav trekkers did.

Bamboo knew?

Of course I could get lost in my own room but far more fun to get stuck in the world’s biggest labyrinth…

No, not in Hampton Court or the Palace of Versailles but in Parma at the Labirinto della Masone, the largest bamboo labyrinth in the world.

The centrepiece in the Emilia Romagna town is made with 200,000 bamboo plants between 30 cm and 15 metres in height.

And the path through it is over 3 kilometres in length.

A work of art

All the brainchild of Franco Maria Ricci, an Italian art publisher and magazine editor.

If (sorry when) you get out you’ll want to check out the connected building.

Where visitors can find an art collection, a restaurant, and two suites to spend the night.

Ricci’s personal art collection, amassed over 50 years, includes Napoleonic busts, mannerist works, paintings spanning the 17^th to 19^th centuries, original illustrations of Luigi Serafini’s Codex Seraphinianu and a wooden model of Milan’s Duomo.

The story goes that Ricci was inspired by a friend and contributor in his publishing house whom he hosted.

Blind faith

And here’s the kicker, Argentinean writer Jorge Luis Borges was blind!

And even he would have a better chance of finding his way than your Bandanaman.

Still Parma is amazeballs. Just remember your ball of string.

Maybe forget the sword… you’ll probably turn it on yourself out of frustration.