I was at a disadvantage chasing a Sri Lankan on our Kuramathi football field so I’d not hold out much hope of winging it with John Barnes in the Maldives.
But I’d give it a try seeing that he looks to be partial to a mince pie these days.
‘Digger’ as he’s known to his football pals after the Dynasty character Cliff ‘Digger’ Barnes is the star attraction along with Stuart Pearce and Harry Redknapp for their Campioni Soccer Academy.
Come on ye reds: In Kuramathi with my team-mates
The programme is for kids but our friends at Simply Maldives leave nobody out and have an added midweek parents game.
Now growing up playing on muddy Scottish pitches Kuramathi’s astroturf is a culture shock.
And the big yellow ball in the sky rarely makes an appearance in Jockoland never mind palm trees.
This sporting life
Spelling it out: The field of dreams
You’ll get coached by legends though here with Simply Maldives.
With Liverpool great Digger running the school from July 28 and August 1.
And Harry and ‘Pscycho’ Pearce on from August 4 and 8, and parents will be hanging off their every anecdote too.
Seeing you’re all visitors together you won’t be disadvantaged by playing with the locals who are more used to the temperatures.
Which I was handicapped by when I asked the staff at our resort if I could join in their kickabout.
And they were gracious to allow me to make up the numbers.
And also join in their cricket match where I ran up a lofty total of three before getting myself run out.
Infinity and beyond: Your infinity pool
The Maldives, of course, is all about R&R, the most idyllic spot.
Endless culinary and cocktails, watersports, infinity pools and karaoke yes.
With our Irish group belting out Living Next Door to Alice with our own ribald adages.
What’s included
Stu beauty: Stuart Pearse
The week starts on Sunday night with a welcome drinks reception.
Where each child is presented with a kit, cap, water bottle and bag while meeting the legends.
Daily development football training starts on the Monday at 3:30-5:30pm.
A midweek parents game.
Hurry up Harry: Gaffer Redknapp
An end of week medal presentation.
All Campioni families have the opportunity to socialise with the sporting celebs.
The daily football training sessions focus on the children.
And improving their technical skills, game and approach, using the FA’s 4 Corner Model.
Where to stay
Sweet: Your suite
2 Bedroom Duplex Beach House ( Sleeps up to 6 people ): adults from €3645 each, under-12s from €2465, teenager 12-16 yrs from €3215.
Pool Villa(sleeps max 3): adults from €4715 each, under-12s from €2945.
Superior Beach Villa (sleeps max 3): adults from €3549 each, under-12s from €2355
Supplement for Basic All Inclusive (buffet dining + all drinks ) = €88 per adult per day & €44 per child per day (up to 16s).
Light up: And an Indian Ocean vista
Supplement for select all inclusive (9 a la carte restaurants included = €148 per adult per day & €74 per child per day (up to 16s).
5-day Soccer Academy additional €900 per child.
Jet set: Your sea plane
Prices include return flights from Dublin in Economy Class, Return Speedboat Transfers, 7 Nights accommodation on Full Board Basis (Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner).
Plus complimentary Kids Club.
And the chance to be winging it with John Barnes in the Maldives.
And that has only been ratcheted up in the City of Brotherly Glove in the years since.
With its Rocky Fest 2024 in full swing like a Sylvester Stallone haymaker.
Rocky by numbers
Step on it: And the Art Museum leap
Rocky Fest will run from Rocky Day on December 3 through December 8, 2024.
With new moves from the PHLVisitorCenter… the first-ever publicly available Rocky Bus Tours, a Rocky Movie Marathon.
And recreated Rocky Date Nights at The University of Pennsylvania’s 1923 Ice Rink and The Philadelphia Zoo.
The Rocky Bus Tour and Philly PHLASH is a 90-minute deep dive into the different neighbourhoods where the movies were filmed.
Tour de force
In his footsteps: Rocky’s big shoes
And for Rockyphiles that means Laurel Hill Cemetery, Mighty Mick’s Gym, the church where Father Carmine blesses Rocky, the Italian Market, and many others.
The tours will run between November 29, and December 8.
You’ll kick off at The Parkway Visitor Centre and Rocky Shop. Individual tickets $49, Senior/student tickets $42; Available here.
A Rocky date
The Sweet Science: Rocky’s cri de coeur
And because among all the fighting there was a lot of loving too then Philly takes us by the hand through Rocky and Adrian’s love story.
On their choice of Date Nights at the Penn Ice Rink and The Zoo.
Recreate their first date and Rocky’s stumbling around on the ice.
With signature drink specials, a Rocky and Adrian lookalike contest, film recreation photo ops, and speed dating for singles.
And individual tickets $25, student tickets $12.50; Available here.
Tickets include skate rental and 20% discount at the Rocky Shop, valid for purchases made during RockyFest.
Or during the Zoo’s LumiNature event with a million twinkling lights across 16 illuminated zones at the Philadelphia Zoo.
And channel Rocky’s proposal to Adrian in front of Big Cat Falls, Rocky proposed, and maybe have your own moment.
Saturday, December 7, 2024, 5-9 p.m. Two-ticket package for $75; Available here
A Rocky marathon
Chin up: With Rocky in Philly
Of course, Rocky starts, continues and finishes with the movies, all of which you can merch up on at the Sly Stallone Shop.
And while we know you’ve watched and rewatched them all then if you want to test yourself over the equivalent of 15 rounds…
With the Philadelphia Film Centre running anything from single viewings to the full bundle over the Fest days.
My Dear Old Dad was as straight as they come apart from on the course, but I’d have opened him up to a hole lot of fun in Portrush and around the world.
The truth is we enjoyed playfully sending him up.
So one Christmas we bought him a joke book The World’s Most Difficult Holes.
Which included tees on the peak of one mountain and greens on another.
And, of course, Mum had to get us to stifle our laughter as he scratched his head about how to play the hole.
Mais oui, there was something of a mutiny on the boards when it was decided to award this competition to a set of islands 15,705kms from Paris, et c’est vrai it has been something of an Olympics surfing bounty for Tahiti.
Now the idea that France, with its 5,500kms of coastline, would even need to farm out its surfing competition.
To a French territory in Polynesia seems a bit la-la.
Forgotten something: Aw, the board
But a combination of bigger waves at this time of the year than the likes of surfing hub Biarritz on the Bay of Biscay.
And the French desire to show off their territories abroad combined to tip the wink to Teahupo’o on Tahiti.
Which is, empire flexing apart, a good reason to flaunt what is after all the birthplace of surfing.
Before the Hawaiians bagged that claim, and which can be dated back to Captain James Cook, and obviously long before.
Ship shape
Sweet music: Tahitian culture
All of which means that the Tahitians have earned the distinction of becoming the furthest away venue from the host city in the history of the Games.
And a gold star to anyone who knew the previous record holder was Stockholm.
With the Swedes holding the Melbourne 1956 equestrian events because of Australia’s quarantine rules (no, us neither).
For the bulk of the Olympians having to sleep in cardboard beds in the Olympics village in Paris the thought of hammocks in Tahiti does sound enticing…
They are in fact accommodated on a ship.
Chillin’ in Tahiti
But the famously laid-back surfing set, whose company I have sought and enjoyed from California to Barcelona and other points in between won’t be complaining.
Particularly as today they have been given time off to chill today.
Because all surfing events have been postponed due to surfing conditions according to the IOC.
All of which means more time to kick back and enjoy the slow tourism of Teahupo’o.
As would happen our network is as expansive as the French and the IOC.
And that reach stretches to Tahiti where our amis there have only been in touch of late.
Get on board
Garlands: Surfing is Tahiti’s national sport
Now helpfully the Tahitians recognise we are not all surfer dudes.
And there is no judgment if we are happier on a paddleboard or bodyboard and then work up.
We’re advised that beginners are best to start on the beaches at Orofara and Taharuu.
Where the waves can reach between 1.5 and 2 metres high.
There are excellent surf spots in Taapuna, Papara and Mahina.
But don’t be a hero and think that you can handle the one the Olympians are trying, ‘jaws’ at Teahupoo…
They wouldn’t let you anyway, you need to be elite.
Reach for the Tropical Sky
Swell: Tropical Sky’s Tahiti retreat
The best advice, of course, is that given by the Tahitian tourist board who say:
‘When you visit a beach for the first time, be polite and pleasant and the local surfers will be pleased to welcome you.
‘A ‘Ia ora na‘ with a smile goes a long way.’
Of course there is no shortage of holiday providers more than happy to whisk us away to Tahiti and we have plumped for our old friends Tropical Sky here.
Typically Tropical: The Sofitel Moorea
A sample seven nights B&B at the Sofitel Moorea La Ora Beach Resort with flights and transfers comes in at from £2,999pp.
So if your piqued by the images of elite athletes walking on water.
And are wondering at why the Games are there and the Olympics surfing bounty for Tahiti then you’re not alone.
Dip your toe into the home of surfing and much more aside…
Or just lie back and think of Tahiti and bronze yourself under the Tropical Sky.