They sound like something out of Game of Thrones but VIVA the Danube’s Iron Gates are all too real and more dramatic than anything in George RR Martin’s world.
The Iron Gates, for those who are not too familiar with the great river gateway of central Europe, are the natural border between Serbia and Romania.
An 83-mile route, with the last barrier, the Kazan (Great Boiler) gorge being the narrowest and most breathtaking at just 15om just beyond the Romanian city of Orsova.
And what’s more Lepenski Vir in Serbia in the gorge and on the banks of the Danube is mooted as being the oldest planned settlement in Europe at 13,000 years ago.
Long before we’d hazard those Starks and their dragons were around.
Move aside Winterfell
Someone’s looking at you: The gorge
Now all this will naturally pull in any of us who have enjoyed the charms of the Danube.
And even more so with VIVA Cruises tempting us with a gentle amble through its waters.
The 11-night ‘The Danube’s Iron Gates’, sailing on VIVA TWO departs Passau on September 6.
With ports of call including Bratislava, Belgrade, Donji Milanovac, Novi Sad and an overnight in Ilok.
Then on to Aljmas, Budapest, Hainburg and Vienna, Dürnstein; and Melk.
Many of those stop-offs sounding like they’ve come straight out of Winterfell.
With prices starting from €2950, the campaign comprises a free cabin upgrade and onboard credit.
VIVA the river
Buda blessed: On the Danube
In addition, a reduced single supplement of 20 per cent is available for applicable solo bookings.
The offer is valid on 65 river cruises departing in 2026, with prices listed for Emerald deck cabins.
And if you can’t extend to 11 nights on VIVA TWO then there is a seven-night Danube from Vienna, sailing on VIVA MOMENTS from €1795pp.
Or a seven-night Whispers of the Rhone, sailing on VIVA VOYAGE, departing Lyons and flowing through France, from €1695pp.
Gentle sweep: Past Danube towns
While there’s a seven-night Waterways of the North, sailing on VIVA ONE through the Low Countries from €1795pp.
Guests will receive €25pp onboard spending money on cruises of up to six nights.
And €50pp for voyages of more than seven nights in duration.
The credit can be used for shore excursions, spa treatments and in onboard retails shops.Cabin upgrades will be applied to the next higher cabin category.
It’s the downside of an island and the upside of a continent. a variety of accessible countries, but here are our friends to show us where to go and get there rail slow with Super Escapes Travel.
Because from Portugal to Poland we’re cutting out the stress of even more regulated travel through airports, preferring to let the train take the strain.
And addressing the heightened awareness of environmental impact, rising flight costs, and a desire to travel with greater purpose.
Increasingly, mature travellers, and don’t you know this pup of a 60-year-old has been pitched into that category, are choosing curated European
itineraries.
The ones that combine two or three destinations in a single trip.
By linking destinations seamlessly, travellers are also finding better value for money and making smarter use of their time abroad.
All of which is laid out in minute and everyday detail.
In the Quarter’s museum and honoured in the architecture and tributes around Dohany,
Been there bought the T-shirt
Got it covered: The Just Jew It take
Of course, the greatest answer to the ravages of the Holocaust is for the survivors and their descendants to live a good and full life.
And that means celebrating your heritage.
Which we discover when we visit that the Jews of Hungary do with self-effacing humour.
With T-shirts and mugs of the famous Michael Jordan leaping logo with Just Jew It written on them.
Answer to our prayers: The synagogue
It is a side of Jewish people which most will not reflect on today.
But we are reminded of one of the most memorable and heart-rending scenes in any film on the Holocaust.
Life Is Beautiful
Moving: La Vite E Bella
From La Vita E Bella (Life is Beautiful) when father Guido uses humour to protect son Giusue’s innocence.
Explaining that the signposts ‘No Jews, No Dogs’ and we are reminded that similar prohibitions throughout history have included ‘No Irish’ are a joke too.
And that when they will go on to open a bookstore they will erect a sign saying ‘No Visigoths, no Spiders.’
And by joking that the rules of the camp are a game.
Read all about it: A Tora in the Jewish Quarter museum
Where you can accumulate points by obeying the draconic, inhumane regulations.
While when the guards come for Guido at the climax for execution and he sees Giusue hiding in a box.
He deflects with wit by winking at him and goosestepping.
The humanity of humour
Roll of honour: Artists in the Jewish Quarter
That people use gallows humour in their worst moments is a uniquely human coping mechanism.
And one which Jews have consistently turned to in the face of victimisation.
With Mel Brooks ridiculing Hitler and anti-semitism and Woody Allen celebrating the eccentricities of his own culture.
While a list of great Jewish comedians rolls off the tongue.
The shoes fit: By the Danube
Jackie Mason, George Burns, Groucho Marx, Rodney Dangerfield and Joan Rivers.
To today’s powerhouses of Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, Sarah Silverman, Adam Sandler, Billy Crystal, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jerry Sadowitz.
World Holocaust Day is, as it should be, a difficult one for us to get through.
Worship: My tribute
None more so than those Jews, Gypsies and other cultures who suffered more than most.
But this year I will reflect on the shared humanity of humour.
Which I encountered in that small piece of Jewish-American fusion of culture I saw in the Magyar capital by the Danube, complete with its emotional shoes statue.
With the stay and flights from Dublin coming in at a festive fun price of from €135pps.
And you’ll be located in Budapest city centre with the St. Stephen’s Basilica.
And its parliament on the shores of the Danube only five metro rides away.
Let us eat cakes
But make sure that you validate your ticket so you don’t get stung for an on-spot fee.
Which will kill your vibe after your pampering at the outdoor baths.
And goulash and Chimney Cake at the Great Market Hall.
Now your Chimney Cake if you’ve never been to Hungary (and you should) is a moreish pastry that everyone eats in cafes and we daresay at home.
Kürtőskalács as its called in the Magyars’ famously difficult language is, we’re told, easy to make.
Working it off: Hungarian open-air baths
And a special touch is to use empty beer cans wrapped in kitchen foil to wrap the cake around.
And then roll it in cinnamon sugar for a caramelised coating.
We can trust you, of course, to empty the beer cans responsibly and that you’ll try to make them Saproni or Dreher.
Now we’ve shamelessly sifted the Best of Hungary site for the recipe.
Chimney cake is smokin’
Sift the flour into a bowl and mix with the salt. Heat the milk until lukewarm, add the sugar and yeast, then cover and let it rise for 8-12 minutes.
Add the yeast mixture, egg, and melted butter to the flour and knead it into a flexible dough. Cover with a kitchen towel and let it rest for 1 hour until the dough doubles in size.
Place the rested dough on a lightly floured surface. Using a rolling pin, roll it out to the thickness of your finger. Cut it lengthwise into 2 cm wide strips.
Sprinkle your fairy dust: On your Chimney Cake
Mix the sugar and cinnamon together. Wrap the empty beer can in kitchen foil and grease the foil using some oil. Take a strip of dough and roll it tightly onto the greased can. Brush the dough with oil then roll it in cinnamon sugar.
Place the chimney cake in an oven preheated to 200 degrees for 20-25 minutes until golden brown.
We’re sure Santy will thank you after he slides down the sooty chimney to find the Chimney cake laid out for him at the bottom.
After soaking up Budapest in the spring with loveholidays.
Take in the sights: In Budapest
We turn to KP though when it comes to the specialist sports market and you should too.
To access their decades of experience in motorsport hospitality and event travel.
They offer ‘Ticket Only’ and expertly curated ‘Hotel & Ticket Inclusive’ packages.
For every race on the calendar with Hungary always a roaring success with sports tourists.
And the first of the three packages here that KP are offering.
And they’re doing the heavy lifting and we are showcasing.
Hungry for driving
Blast from past: Communist-type cars
Hungarian Grand Prix – Budapest Set at the challenging Hungaroring circuit, this is a firm favourite among fans.
Thanks to its technical demands, intense atmosphere and dramatic on-track battles.
Ticket Only: General Admission Weekend tickets from €349pp
Hotel & Ticket Package: 3 nights from Friday 01 August 2025 in a 3* or 4* hotel with General Admission Weekend ticket from €949pps
Upgrades available to Apex 1 or 2, Podium, Paddock Club, and more
Sing for the Grand Prix
Round the bend: In Singapore
Singapore Grand Prix – Marina Bay Street Circuit F1’s original night race delivers an electric fusion of racing and entertainment in the heart of the city.
With a spectacular backdrop of skyline and sound.
Ticket Only: Zone 4 Walkabout Weekend tickets from €279pp
Hotel & Ticket Package: 3 nights from Friday 03 October 2025 in a 3* hotel with Zone 4 Walkabout Weekend ticket from €582pps
Upgrades available to Marina Bay, Pit Grandstand, Champions Club, Paddock Club and more
Neon lights
Coin it in: In Vegas
Las Vegas Grand Prix – Las Vegas Strip Circuit An adrenaline-filled night race through the bright lights of the Strip, this Grand Prix combines speed, glamour and the vibrant energy of Neon City.
Ticket Only: Sphere General Admission Weekend tickets from €795pp
Hotel & Ticket Package: 3 nights from Thursday 20 November 2025 in a 3* hotel with Sphere General Admission Weekend ticket from €1130pps
Upgrades available to West Harmon Zone, Sphere Grandstands, Main Grandstand, Skybox Main and more
And KP say that these and many more grand prix destinations and package options are available.
Although we’d get you going with Hungaroaring with F1 specialists Keith Prowse.
Perhaps they too had been fined £60 when someone forgot to validate their ticket before boarding the train and were collared by the huffy Hungarian guard.
Or were kept waiting by your other half in the steamier of the two outdoor pools at the Szechenyi Baths.
Neither challenges should, of course, detract from your enjoyment of what is truly a unique experience.
A lot of bull about Istanbul
Open the door: Topkapi in Istanbul
The 95,352 rambunctious reviewers seem to have it in for the Hungarian capital as a whole.
And placing the Baths at fifth most overpriced attraction, and at £12 or £14 on weekends for a multi-thalasso treat they’re tough to please.
Now we can’t count here for Alton Towers in Staffordshire in England, considered the worst for price and value or Snowland in Brazil, fourth on the list.
And just to spell that out in hard facts for you here…
Most Overpriced Tourist Attractions
Rank
Attraction
Country
Negative Mentions about Costs and Value
1
Alton Towers Resort
United Kingdom
18.0%
2
Topkapı Palace
Turkey
14.7%
3
Dubrovnik City Walls
Croatia
14.4%
4
Snowland
Brazil
13.0%
5
Széchenyi Baths and Pool
Hungary
11.2%
The World’s Top 10 Most Disappointing Tourist Attractions
Rank
Attraction
Location
Country
Percentage of Reviews with Negative Mentions
1st
Alton Towers Resort
Staffordshire
United Kingdom
49.4%
2nd
Széchenyi Baths and Pool
Budapest
Hungary
37.2%
3rd
Siam Park
Tenerife
Spain
31.2%
4th
Time Out Market Lisboa
Lisbon
Portugal
28.4%
5th
Fontana di Trevi
Rome
Italy
24.6%
6th
Horseshoe Casino
Las Vegas
United States
24.0%
=7th
Guinness Storehouse
Dublin
Ireland
23.2%
=7th
Gardaland Park
Lake Garda
Italy
23.2%
=10th
Topkapı Palace
Istanbul
Turkey
23.0%
=10th
National Air and Space Museum
Washington D.C.
United States
23.0%
Turk that
Hamam bam: Istanbul
Digging deeper, we don’t know if it’s an Orban or an Erdogan thing but the raspish reviewers vent their spleens at Istanbul and Budapest again and Bangkok in the following scroll of dishonour.
The Cities with the Most Disappointing Tourist Attractions
1. Istanbul (16%)
Considering the cities with three or more tourist attractions in the study, the data finds that when taking an average of all local attractions, Istanbul’s offering is the most likely to disappoint with a 16% negative mention rate. The most disappointing Istanbul attraction in the study is the aforementioned Topkapı Palace.
2. Bangkok (15.9%)
But not far behind is Bangkok with a score of 15.9%. The Grand Palace’s poor score of 12.6% (the joint 7th worst in the study) dragged the Thai capital down. Visitors might want to prioritise visiting Wat Arun instead – the Temple of Dawn – which has a much more favourable score of 9.4%.
Walk this way: The Danube shoes
3. Budapest (13.9%)
Budapest comes third (13.9% overall), with Széchenyi Baths and Pool (the most disappointing attraction) dampening the vibe. In fact, four attractions here came in under the study average of 10.9%: Fisherman’s Bastion (10.2%), Hungarian Parliament Building (8.6%), Shoes on the Danube Bank (7.8%) and St. Stephen’s Basilica (5.8%).
You can see the full list of the cities with the most disappointing tourist attractions on the main study page.
We’ll tease you here with the world’s least disappointing as reviewed in this survey by saying Leith, Scotland’s Royal Yacht Britannia is on it.
But today is for standing up for Budapest and our other maligned favourite places.
Now if you always thought those who watched the tenors had pokers up their ariases stuffed shirt then you’ve never got to Czech Rieu out at the opera.
Because Praguers, unlike ourselves in Britain or Ireland, put the music before the formality.
Instead of penguins you’re more likely to find yourself drinking next to dressed-down monks in the bar at the interval.
Our friends at the Institute for Culture Travel in Ireland get that too that too which is why they’ve brought opera to the masses.
Rieu knew
Gimme five: Andre Rieu
The Institute are offering André Rieu and the Johann Strauss Orchestra in Prague on June 5 from €1,179pps including:
Return flight from Dublin, (taxes and transfers)
Four-nights in the Boutique Jalta Hotel with breakfast
Guided tour of Prague Castle Complex
Visit Lobkowicz Palace; featuring world-famous paintings by Bruegel, Canaletto, Velázquez and more; ceramics spanning five centuries and hand-annotated manuscripts by many of the world’s greatest composers, including Haydn, Mozart, and Beethoven.
Walking tour of Prague’s Old Town
Excursion to medieval town of Kutna Hora
Pre-performance dinner in hotel, with tea/coffee and glass of wine
An evening with André Rieu in concert (tickets – stalls downstairs)
Private transfers and local guide according to the programme
A night at the opera: In Prague
Or if you want to branch further afield then the Institute will take you to Lisbon to see Andre on October 30 from €1.389pps, with excursions and a Fado dinner show which my old pal Jose insists originated in Coimbra.
While they will also offer you Andre in Budapest too on November 7 from €1,2899pps.
Now, it’s always the performers and performances you don’t take up that you live to regret and Andrea Bocelli, an MSC cruise launch and a very overentitled freelancer in my gift spring to mind here.
Sometimes it’s best just to be selfish and I’m loath here then to tell you what I know.
Brilliant Bocelli
Home Andre: Bocelli
That the Institute have Andrea Bocelli in Warsaw on August 22 from €1,389pps includes:
Return flight from Dublin, taxes and transfers
4 nights in the 4* Polonia Palace hotel in Warsaw with breakfast
Welcome lunch (flight time depending)
Full day tour of Warsaw, lunch included with:
Entrance to F. Chopin Museum in Ostrogski Castle
Chopin music piano recital
Half day excursion to Wilanow Palace and Park
Full day excursion following Chopin’s footsteps: visit Zelazowa Wola (Chopin’s birthplace) and
Sanniki Palace, an open-air museum in Lowicz with lunch en-route at a local restaurant
3-course pre-concert dinner at the hotel
Ticket (Lower Ring A) for Andrea Bocelli concert on 24 August 2024 at PGE National Stadium
Free time for independent sightseeing
Private transfers and local guide according to the programme
So Czech Rieu out at the opera or tell them what Warsaw in Poland when Andrea Bocelli was singing to us.