My head’s busting today (and not because I joined the house girlie party) but I won’t give in to Eurovision‘s dark tourism around this year’s contest in Malmo in Sweden.
In what was meant to be a celebration of 50 years since its greatest champions Abba won the competition with Waterloo.
The music fest has become more of a war than a channel of peace and unity.
The protests around the Israel entry and the original lyrics to their song, the subliminal messages in Driuid Ogham on the body of the Irish singer and the Dutch singer’s disqualification have all betrayed the spirit of the competition.
Winner takes it all: Abba back in 1974
Now not for one minute do I intend to descend into the politics of the Middle East.
Only to say it seems to me be only humane to take an even-handed empathy and sympathy for both sides.
But the bullying of the Israeli singer was wrong both on a personal level and because it ignores the country’s history in the competition.
Much of that harassing has come from an LGBTQ+ lobby who do not take into account that Dana International from Israel was Eurovision’s first trans winner in 1998.
Keep it neutral
Nailed it: Nemo
Thankfully then next year’s competition, a return to the scene of the first in 1956, will be more neutral.
Or you’d hope so as it is being held in non-aligned Switzerland.
And kudos to winner Nemo for not getting embroiled in the politics in their acceptance speech.
All of which is a slightly strong-handed introduction to all things Eurovision tourism related.
For it is a thing all right.
With Liverpool getting a £40m boost from holding the extravaganza on behalf of Ukraine last year.
Obvious really when you think that Eurovision is the biggest cultural event in the world.
With its three live broadcasts drawing 162 million viewers.
Big noise in the hood
There’s still a point: But lose the politics
It’s all eyes on your town and a marketing guru’s dream to provide a showpiece of what’s best in your hood.
It helps, of course, to be one of the world’s richest countries… think all those Swiss banks.
Iceland ran a subpar candidate in 2020 Netflix comedy Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga which was really rooted in reality.
Hosting the event could cause the country to go bankrupt.
A fear long held in Ireland, which holds the record for most competition wins along with Sweden on seven.
With its national broadcaster RTE said to have almost gone bankrupt hosting the event.
While in 2012 when Azerbaijan welcomed the contest in capital Baku, it was reported that the country spent upwards of €55 million hosting the event.
Not including the €92 million stadium they built for it.
Swede sounds of the tills
Keep it daft: No politics here
Some 100,000 visitors descended on Malmo this last week swelling its 350,000 population.
That including ticket buyers from 89 countries, fans without tickets, sponsors.
And the performers from 37 participating countries, each with around 20 crew members.
All of which had the hoteliers in the city rubbing their hands with glee.
With business hotel Clarion Malmö Live, sold out months before the event with rates from €167 up to €790 per night.
While boutique Malmo hotel MJ’s is just one to have gone all-out kitsch for Eurovision.
Its rooms sold out on the day Malmo was announced as host city last July.
While the few remaining “x-tra” small rooms (just over 100 sqft) came in at upwards of $300 a night.
Swiss timing
International appeal: Dana International
None of which should put us off what should be an annual celebration of the power of music.
To unite and the common values we share across Europe and Eurofriendly countries like Australia, and yes, Israel.
So let’s not be ambushed, and I won’t give in to Eurovision’s dark tourism.
And rather sing out loud for what a great continent we have and why we should promote all our great destinations.
As well as the iconic Cavern Club from which tours go out into the Beatles’ Liverpool.
Ours being the Magical Mystery Tour with Jay Johnson, who’ll be Holly’s.
Musical legacy
Magic bus: With Jay on the coach tour
Of course British hopes will be with Mae Muller and I Wrote A Song.
And the Liverpudlians have forgiven her for being a ‘Landiner’ and adopted her as their own.
As they did myself, a Scottish-type person, in my time there.
There has been a history of Scousers singing in Eurovision, of course, even if they couldn’t get the Beatles to enter.
Cilla Black, a huge singing star in the Sixties, came close but decided to pass on succeeding Sandie Shaw.
She thought it unlikely that the UK would back up Sandie’s win so the UK went for Cliff Richard instead.
Alas his Congratulations was misplaced and he came second, although he blamed, of all people General Franco (some truth in it mind).
We’ll pass over Jemini’s efforts, the duo getting nul points, but there were sterling performances from Prima Donna and Sonia, who both lost out to Ireland.
While it was far from Wonderful Copenhagen for Molly who was 17th in 2014.
Puppet on a string
Cavern fever: With Bandanaman
Still this year Liverpool has two entries really through dint of them hosting on behalf of Ukraine… and they’re bound to get a big political sympathy vote.
Back to my pal Dustin the Turkey and of course he is pure Eurovision following in the legacy of barefooted Sandie Shaw who sang about a puppet on a string.
So I’m right behind him and I’m Dustin down Eurovision Liverpool. Calm down, calm down.
All reward for their high vaccination rates and lifting of restrictions.
Flag happy: Tel Aviv Pride
The Tel Aviv Pride Parade has been running each June since 1998, Dana International’s Annus Mirabilis.
The fun started on Bograshov Beach at midday before the party trucks and DJs floated down the prom.
And finished at Charles Clore Park with a huge party by the Med.
Float on: In Tel Aviv
Where acts banged out the music on the two main stages.
All encouraging in its own rights.
But also for those of us who are hanging on every piece of encouragement from the land where The Good News was first shared.
Somewhere over the rainbow: Well, Tel Aviv
Over to Sharon then, Sharon Bershadsky, Director of the Israel Tourist Office UK for an update.
‘As the country starts to reopen and with Israel now on the Green Watchlist in the UK we can’t wait to hopefully welcome back tourists as soon as possible.
‘To explore all the wonderful offerings we have for the LGBTQ community and beyond.’
Hang out the buntings: In Tel Aviv
And ‘beyond’ obviously means taking in the modern and historical which make up The Land of Milk and Honey.
The Holy City: Jerusalem
And specifically to get on board Israel’s campaign Two Cities, One Break, the two cities being Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
Shalom Sharon and… Israel it’s All Kinds of Everything.
For Destiny’s ‘So if I show some skin Doesn’t mean I’m giving in, Not your baby (je me casse) take Madison Avenue’s original…
‘You know I don’t belong to you, it’s time you knew I’m not your baby. I belong to me so don’t call me baby.’
Anyhoos, it’s not the only thing about Destiny that feels familiar.
For real Euroheads you might know her as a former Junior Eurovision winner while fans of Britain’s Got Talent may recognise her as a beaten semi-finalist.
While Ibiza is lauded as the party island of the Med and is certainly bopping Malta has my vote.
And that of all the ravers who go there annually for its sets and festivals.
Roman rock gods
I’ll be back: The Trevi Fountain in Rome
Its big neighbour to the north and which you can enjoy a day trip to, Italy, is joint-favourite to be the Song for Europe this year.
Rock and pyrotechnics… don’t worry this isn’t pastiche Lordi but flash Maneskin (no, us either).
Bravo: On World Cup final day at the French Embassy in Dublin
The third co-favourites, France are of course European heavyweights. Voila!
No, that’s the name of Parisienne Barbara Pravi’s offering.
Naturellement as a chanteuse Barbara channels her inner Edith Piaf and .
And while it’s perfectly charming La Belle Babs lacks that va va voom we’re looking for as our Song for Europe.
As for the Oo K? Well, James Newman from Settle in Yorkshire, a village we know well and a county too with Casey Jones, the father-in-law, emanating from thar.
A poppy sound Embers with a strong hook, we’re not pinning our money on it though.
Have a good Eurovision…Je ma casse, I’m outta here!