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AS salespeople go she must be the most persistent so Mrs Doyle was the perfect choice to be guest speaker at the Irish Australian Chambers of Commerce Australia Day lunch.. yes, Mrs Doyle go on go on go on Australia.

Pauline McLynn, for it is she, will forever be etched in our minds as the batty housekeeper in the priests’ house in the surreal Father Ted.

But she of course was playing a role (and doing it brilliantly) for Down Under.

In real life she is a raconteur par excellence and we’ll let the char out of the teabag here very bawdy.

A guest of Travel Centre at that Aviva Stadium lunch in Dublin we celebrated all the great cities and regions of Oz.

And Pauline made special mention of her map of Tassie (Tasmania)!

For those who haven’t had the pleasure of Australians in their life…

And my Aussie/Kiwi booze bus trip to Munich Beer Festival was revived for a full year.

When Smuttley and Brownie turned up on my doorstep in Aberdeen.

Australia Day

All of which comes to mind as I sit down this evening to enjoy an Australia Day digital celebration.

And particularly a day after an old-fashioned Aussie slides show at the Outlaws where The Scary One lived as a young girl.

TravelEssence, a Dutch-based travel company (and remember that they got there first to Tasmania which they called Van Dieman’s Land) sent us the invitation this time.

They specialise in smaller-type accommodations and our charming host flagged up stays where ‘kangaroos hop into your garden’ and glamping among their offerings.

All of which we want to do and soon.

King of Queensland

The good news is that Queensland has shown the way by opening up to the vaccinated since last week.

So Barrier Reef fans get your snorkels out.

But also check out Northern Queensland’s Tropics in late November.

And fly into Cairns with Singapore Airlines we’re advised.

Take a rental car out to Port Douglas.

And it’s a quieter, more authentic resort than busy Cairns.

There’s a tale too of the oldest tropical rain forest in the world.

Further north in the state where you can dip into the Aboriginal culture too.

For those who like the tweet of a bird rather than a phone then this is the place for you.

In the tree houses they specialise in up there they put out banana skins to draw the birdies in.W

Whitsundays worship

Now Australia is the second biggest island in the world, but it is in fact 8,000 islands.

And in Queensland the Whitsundays are where it’s at.

When we think of Queensland, after the Great Barrier Reef, it’s Brisbane you’ll recognise best and its spectacular zoo.

There’s an old converted church which is the answer to your prayers.

Something for old crocks

Though again our host Lisette seemed keen to take us out of the city to Nusa…

To go whale watching and to The Everglades.

The Aussie Everlades we are assured has no alligators.

Another island to explore is Fraser Island, the home to the dingos.

The town of 1770 is where you’ll get the rundown with Artie into the Bush but also the sea to surf your troubles away.

I hope you are all enjoying (enjoyed) your Australia Day… and I’m still trying to figure out your time zones and changes.

So in the inimitable words of the world’s most famous tealady… Mrs Doyle and go on go on go on Australia

All countries are created equal but some are more equal than others… let’s hear it for the PIGS, the big winners on the UK Green List.

We will all now be able to visit Portugal, Israel, Gibraltar and St Helena from May 17 from England.

Make a break for it

Keeeeep dancin’: With Judy Murray in Portugal

Portugal has always been a personal favourite and it’s also fun for all you sporty types too.

And they are being rewarded for their Clean & Safe project with this green light.

Israel have been frontrunners from the get-go on the vaccination programme and I will be back communicating with the Promised Land through the week.

Gibraltar and St Helena too.

I am indebted to my old colleague from the American Travel Fair Britain’s Young Travel Writer of the Year Lottie Gross for road testing Gib for us over the pandemic.

And to Napoleon for doing the same.

Through countries

Get the Braai on: Port Elizabeth township, South Africa

The one niggling issue though is the status of the through countries to get to Gib and St Helena with neither Spain nor South Africa on the green list.

St Helena remains unfinished business.

With my walk in the footsteps of Le Petit Caporal ahead of this month’s 200th anniversary of his death there cancelled at the last minute.

Ice, ice baby

But while the PIGS pushed themselves out, as they do, as the big winners on the UK Green List there are others celebrating today.

Iceland also makes it onto the list and a long-promised visit to the Iceland Phallological Museum where all the Big Dicks hang out.

While the Faroes too, between Iceland and Norway, await and are tempting us with nature and wellness and hairy Vikings.

Further afield Singapore, and Brunei are long-haul bucket list favourites.

Bonzer

Of course it used to be that being sent to Australia and New Zealand was a punishment.

And the poor peoples on those islands are still suffering, albeit different hordes now of English Gap Year students… see The Inbetweeners 2.

Falklands awe

The good folk of the Falklands and South Georgia came onto our radar 40 years ago next year when the Argentines laid their beach towels down.

It’s a long way to go for a penguin but we’re here to serve.

And so are our friends at G Adventures who have a 22-dayer from Montivideo, Uruguay to Ushuaia.

No me neither, nor how it works with Uruguay not being on the list, and near pariahs Brazil, but G Adventures will be all over it.

And we should just be glad we don’t have to go to war to get a holiday.

MEET YOU ON THE ROAD

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Mrs Doyle and go on go on go on Australia