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Da Day I’m docked with Diana in Leith

28th July 202428th July 2024 funtime65

Da Day I’m docked with Diana in Leith, dastreen she was in Lerwick, and Da Moarn she’ll be in Aberdeen, it’s just how I cruise.

Now if you think I’ve been drinking then that’s only because ye ken me, and ye ken Swan Hellenic’s hospitality.

From here to Sobriety: Sadie keeps me in tow

But no, for once I’ve had to forgo the champagne, wines and cocktails but thankfully not the cuisine.

As I put mind and body back together a full week after racking up the rounds at the Open golf in Troon.

All as a guest of Hilton Head Island and Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport.

Viking twang

So today is a new experience for Shipman Murty, cruising without the boozing.

I don’t know what the Vikings, around whom this Swan Hellenic 12-nighter Sailing with the Vikings cruise from Norway to Amsterdam, would think.

Or our old Aberdeen neighbours who have long since decamped to Elizabeth’s roots in Lerwick, Shetland.

But I hope they would appreciate my attempts at Norn/Shetland dialect which has been handed down the generations.

Since the days when Shetland was under the rule of Norway until it was given in a dowry to Scotland.

And, no, the Shetlanders were never asked and have never quite accepted it.

Oh Diana

Gateway to the Arctic: Only 20,423 miles to go

The Norsemen (or Normans) came, Thor and conquered down from the fjords along these routes that Swan Hellenic are taking.

Luckily for us, things have come a long way since those longboats of yore with Diana the largest vessel in the Swan Hellenic fleet.

Boasting nine decks, Diana offers 192 guests five-star 96 staterooms and suites, many with private balconies.

The ship is equipped with a heated outdoor pool, open deck Jacuzzi, gym, spa and beauty salon and sauna with panoramic views.

Restaurants include the Swan Restaurant, Club Lounge, Pool Bar and Grill and room service.

Chef has pans… will sail

Did we say that Diana invited along a chef just for the Edinburgh to Amsterdam leg of the itinerary?

Nicolai Wiedmer, owner of Restaurant Eckert in Grenzach-Wyhlen, Germany, who rustles up his own Gala Dinners.

And yes, myself and my own queen of the seas had to be prised out of our seats.

All to allow the cruisers who were off for the afternoon exploring Edinburgh back on.

And naturally we tried to hide ourselves away as stowaways.

All around the world

Now we all know the Vikings were famous seafarers but this Norway through Scotland to the Netherlands cruise is just a breeze for Diana.

She will travel the world in 2024/2025, with sailings to Swan Hellenic’s flagship destinations the Arctic and Antarctic regions.

And from Brazil to Papua New Guinea, Norway to New Zealand, Australia to Africa and Madagascar to the Mediterranean.

So while Da Day I’m docked with Diana in Leith then Da Moarn I could be anywhere in the world with Swan Hellenic.

Countries, Cruising, Deals, Europe

Columbus, The Great Explora and the Greater Spain

16th July 202416th July 2024 funtime65

Olé, olé, olé we’re on our way with Columbus, The Great Explora and the Greater Spain.

And Cassidy Travel and Explora Journeys which whisper it, or on second thoughts, shout it, who are a better bet than Columbus.

History has been kinder than it ought to have been to Columbus.

Who sailed the ocean blue in 1492 though didn’t know where he was going, which was the wrong way to Asia.

And even mistook manatees for mermaids.

Columbus on a pedestal

All of which appeals to this accidental tourist who has turned the wrong corner more often than not, and found an oasis.

Columbus is still trusting to instinct rather than updated maps to this day from his plinth in Barcelona.

Where he points not to America, where let’s remember he never set foot in, but to Algeria.

The great Catalan city honours the Genovese on account of his reporting to the Spanish monarchs after returning from the Caribbean.

And erected his 60ft statue by Las Ramblas for the Exposición Universal de Barcelona in 1888 in honour of his Columbus’ first voyage to the Americas.

Which if you’re lucky enough to first witness Barcelona from opened curtains on a cruise ship is the first thing you’ll see.

Carry on cruising

Barcelona will be your first port of call and departure point.

On your Journey to Stars of Casablanca & The Coast of Granada.

The Explora II will leave Barcelona in October 16 for ten nights from €4195pp (€500pp deposit).

Cassidy and Explora will put you in an ocean terrace suite.

And treat you to all-inclusive wining and dining

You’ll sail from the Catalan capital, overnight in Casablanca ad visit Cadiz, Puerto Banus (Marbella) and Motril.

While you’ll also get return flights from Dublin.

America, Countries, Cruising

Waving the Union Jack flag on Hawaii cruises

25th May 202425th May 2024 funtime65

George Washington would, no doubt, turn in his grave that they’re waving the Union Jack flag on Hawaii cruises.

That he commanded 13 colonies who fought valiantly to replace the Union flag with the Stars and Stripes for this.

Of course, Washington would have no concept of an America stretching over to seven islands in the mid-Pacific Ocean.

Nor for George, more used to standing on a shallow draft Durham cargo boat crossing the Delaware, a floating hotel of a ship.

The types you’ll see meandering around the 50th state of the Union.

When Britain ruled the waves

The Hawaii flag dates back to post the little-heralded Second War of Independence of 1812.

When King Kamehameha I adopted the Union Flag in support of the British Royal Navy who then ruled the waves.

With the seven interchanging white, red and blue stripes a nod to the number of islands.

Blue Hawaiis

All of which you may reflect on as you’re sipping your Blue Hawaiian meandering around the islands.

On your 13-night ROL Cruise, departing April 21st, June 9 and September 15.

You’ll fly from London to Honolulu and upon arrival you’ll transfer to a 4* hotel for your five-night stay.

And remember you’ll enjoy a complimentary Pearl Harbour & Honolulu city tour.

And visit to the Punchbowl National Cemetery, to the only royal palace ever constructed on US soil.

When you book a Balcony Stateroom.

The Pride of America

You’ll transfer to the port on Day 6 and embark on the Pride of America for your seven- night voyage.

You’ll overnight in Kahului, Maui, USA and take in its great shopping, galleries and attractions like the Maui Arts & Culture Center.

If you’ve been going easy on the buffets and Blue Hawaiis you can always scale the 10,000ft high summit of Mt. Haleakal.

And look down at 33 miles of black and white sand beaches.

Hula-hula lot of fun

Other jewels of Hawaii with hula-hula names such as Hilo, Kona.

Day 10 will see you enjoy the charms of Kailua-Kona, a town on the west coast of Hawaii Island (the Big Island).

Hulihee Palace is a former royal vacation home dating from 1838.

While Mokuaikaua Church, from the 1800s, is Hawaii’s oldest Christian church.

And for fans of colourful coral Kamakahonu Beach is the place to go.

Day 11 into Day 12 will see you overnight in The Garden Island.

Where you’ll take in the dramatic mountains of Kokee to the cool rainforests of Haena.

And intriguingly the tradition of the luau.

Before on Day 13 disembarking and transfering to the airport for your overnight flight to London.

Book by May 29 and receive an additional discount of up to £700 off the advertised fares per booking.

Check out rates on ROL’s site and be sure to have a spare £8,500 for you and your loved one.

And get waving the Union Jack flag on Hawaii cruises.

Countries, Cruising, Oceania

Happy talkin’ in the South Pacific

15th April 202415th April 2024 funtime65

Talk about things we’d like to do… happy talkin’ in the South Pacific with Royal Caribbean.

It’s 75 years since Rodgers and Hammerstein showcased the musical and the South Pacific to Broadway audiences.

And in truth little has changed in the idyllic islands in the three-quarters of a century since.

Or going back even further to the 19th century when Robert Louis Stevenson left Scottish shores for the South Seas for his health.

A Cruise Mystery

Our pals at RC have billed their Sunny Views and Exotic Hues cruise as…

‘Go swimming with the humpback whales near Tonga.

‘Explore one of the only uninhabited places on Earth in Mystery Island.

‘Vanuata or simply relax and slip into island time.’

As well as the world’s second-largest double barrier reef around the islands of New Caledonia.

Humpback whales glide between the islands of Tonga.

While what’s not to be intrigued by among the Loyalty Islands.

Quantum force

RC offers a seven-night cruise from €706 for a balcony room on Quantum of the Seas, departing from Brisbane.

For dates in December, January, February and March.

Now you want to know about the ship… well, in the interests of research we tried it out in port in Barcelona.

Where among the features that caught our eye was the FlowRider.

With Irish surfer Gearoid and the cruise crew as our guides I took my board and set it against 100,000 litres of rushing amazingness on the surf simulator.

As with all cruises, and particularly RC, the food and drink is plentiful, mouth-watering and varied.

And the entertainment is different gravy.

Take in an epic fusion of music and innovation at Sonic Odyssey. Or dive into the mysteries of the sea in the spell-binding production, Starwater.

So as Rodgers & Hammerstein posited… if you haven’t got a dream then how you going to make a dream come true?

Go ahead, book your flight out to Australia and sign up for some happy talkin’ in the South Pacific.

Countries, Cruising, Deals, Europe

Debussy Galore on the Moselle

1st April 20241st April 2024 funtime65

He was the most unaffected self-made man and delighted in his knowledge of just one composer, so my doctor dad would have alighted on Debussy Galore on the Moselle.

Quite why the French fin de siecle musician was his songsmith of choice I should have asked.

In their limited record collection there were no Debussy or any classic LPs, only folk, trad or Irish rebel albums my Mum acquired.

But he would answer every music question on every TV game show with an elongated Debuuuuussy and a big smile.

Whether Parisian Debussy had a special connection with the Moselle, Belgium or the Netherlands is doubtful too.

Claude hopper

But Riverside Luxury Cruises settled on Claude Debussy to carry their name and passengers along the great northern European waterways.

The Riverside Debussy sets sail on July 10 from Trier near the German and Luxembourg border.

And meanders its way for eight days to Amsterdam.

Sing me a Melody

Book with Platinum Travel stay in a Melody Suite for from €3,950pp with a 0% Single Supplement.

Trier where you’ll begin boasts impressive Roman ruins.

You’ll cruise north-east and stop in Bernkastel, a health resort and wine-growing centre.

And join the Rhine at Koblenz, whose distinctive Deutsches Eck (German Corner) houses symbols of German unity.

Continue to see the vibrant Old Town of Dusseldorf and our own recommendation here… take in Little Japan.

Before heading for Antwerp, where more than 70% of the world’s diamonds are traded.

Rotterdam is noted as one of Europe’s great ports and innovative Cube Houses.

And this being the Netherlands windmills, of course, and Zaanse Schans’collection of iconic twirly mills and wooden houses.

Before you disembark in awesome Amsterdam, and you all know how we feel about the great city of arts, bikes and crepes.

Compose yourself

So what’s stopping you if you want the best all-singing, all-dancing way to explore this part of Europe.

It has to be Debussy Galore on the Moselle with Riverside Cruises.

Now while RC will cover everyone on the ship you’ll need to find your own way to Trier.

With hub Frankfurt your airport with all major airlines landing there but Lufthansa our go-to for Germany.

Of course, back in the day when Dad and Mum were honeymooning in these parts that wasn’t an option.

And Dad drove through France, Germany and Belgium… hope Debussy was on the radio.

Countries, Cruising, Deals

Sail into the Northern Lights

25th February 202425th February 2024 funtime65

Ever dreamt you could sail into the Northern Lights… well, in eight years in the Aurora Borealis capital of Scotland I never once saw the Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen

Many delights though, The Northern Bar, St Machar, Red Lion (Beastie), Blue Lamp (Lampie), Hotel Metro (‘we won’t go there) and countless others.

But I’ll have to take Mary Webb’s word for it and her knowledge of the fishing port/pre-oil city of the Fifties.

Like the heroine of Mary’s song I too have been a traveller all of my years.

And too many a sight I’ve seen although not yet the Northern Lights.

The ROL thing

It seems though that I was nearer than I thought when we cruised the Norwegian fjords with MSC and reached bonnie Bergen.

Switching tack which is after all a marine metaphor.

See I did pick something up from the captain I have since alighted on what I need, the ROL Cruise 11-nighter Northern Lights Special.

In their Classic Northern Lights sale from £1,249pp.

Now, the ROL cruise leaves out of Bergen, departing on either Halloween, November 22 and December 15.

Day 2 will be Florø-Molde where we are promised Northern Blooms.

Known as ‘The City of Roses’ it offers a fabulous mountain panorama view.

Circle of life

Day 3 will take you from Kristiansand-Rørvik and Day 4 Brønnøysund-Svolvær.

Now this is where things get really exciting and you enter the Arctic Circle.

And mark the moment with a traditional ceremony.

Brønnøysund is situated on a narrow peninsula on the mainland, surrounded by islands and water.

Captain’s call

Now the next five days are all tongue-twisters.

Day 5 – Stokmarknes – Skjervøy Day 6 – Øksfjord – Berlevåg Day 7 – Båtsfjord – Berlevåg Day 8 – Mehamn – Tromsø Day 9 – Tromsø.

Sailing along Raftsund, the Captain truly earns their money.

They may choose to take the ship into tiny Trollfjord if the weather allows.

The mountain walls will look so close you’ll think you can reach out and brush them!

To exit the fjord, the ship will rotate 180 degrees on the spot.

And we’re advised to keep an eagle-eye out for sea eagles.

Midnight sun

Day 10 will see you go from Bodø – Rørvik.

You can admire the midnight sun from Mount Ronvikfjellet or take a stroll along the chalk-white beach.

Day 11 is Trondheim-Ålesund, Day 12 – Ålesund back to Bergen, Norway.

And then disembark and transfer to the airport for your return flight to London.

To show off your pictures, Instas and videos and TikToks to friends and family.

From when you got to sail into the Northern Lights.

Countries, Cruising, UK

On the banks of the Thames

8th December 20238th December 2023 funtime65

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since I first washed up on the banks of the Thames.

With liquid lunches and post-work drinks taken in Reading’s leafy neighbourhood of Caversham.

The flow of time has seen us move on since I first took up a pencil in anger.

And she snapped the great and the good and was deservedly garlanded.

But still Old Father Thames rolls on and sometimes I roll on a cruise on the river.

Now you wouldn’t expect me to have to get the tube through London.

Le Boat comes in

And boats of all shades and sizes drift down the river.

With our old friends at Le Boat more than holding their own with those around them.

Meandering down from royal Hampton Court.

Down through our old Reading and Windsor stomping grounds to Oxford’s dreaming spires.

Drive it yourself

And why? Because they are offering savings of 15% off all boating holidays for next year.

When choosing budget and comfort boats for short breaks of three to six nights.

And boating holidays of seven nights or more, when booked before Christmas Day.

A self-drive Le Boat cruise allows holidaymakers to explore the western section of the river.

Here, moorings are easy to find and the distance between locks is greater than at the river’s eastern end, which means more cruising.

A royal cruise

Stop at King Henry VIII’s home at Hampton Court, head to his successor Charles’s Windsor for a tour of the Castle.

Or visit Eton College, where 20 prime ministers were schooled.

A seven-night self-catered cruise on the River Thames, departing on 25 March, starts and finished at Le Boat’s base at Benson.

On board a Caprice sleeping up to six, is priced from £1,539/£256.50pp (£1,819/£303pp,saving 15%).

Transport to and from the base is not included.   

So whether you’re taking a trip down Memory Lane (and a memorable Christmas party cruise) off the Piper’s Island pier.

Or you’re a first-timer get away from it all on the banks of the Thames.

America, Countries, Cruising, Deals

The new Celebrity loves us tender

20th October 202320th October 2023 funtime65

I do love me tender and know this too.., the new Celebrity loves us tender too.

And that’ll be why their floating tender has become a fixture on Celebrity Cruises.

You always get a special floaty feeling aboard a cruise ship.

But none so floaty as the moving Magic Carpet.

Which we discovered for ourselves when we sailed on the inaugural launch of the $1billion Edge off Florida.

Carpet fitters

Tender living care: Celebrity’s Magic Carpet

At the top of the ship it hosts the delicious Dinner on the Edge.

Down to Deck 14, the Magic Carpet becomes an extension of the main pool area.

And on Deck 5, it opens out onto an open-air dining experience.

And at the bottom on Deck 2, it becomes an extension of luxury at the Destination Gateway.

Of course, the Magic Carpet which takes you down to a disembarkation boat for day outings to the Bahamas, or wherever, is just one of its cutting-Edge features.

Heaven Ascent

Feast for the senses: Celebrity culinary

Now our friends at Celebrity never rest and are showcasing their new ship Celebrity Ascent next month.

Where we can also look forward to the Rooftop Garden, The Solarium, and Eden.

There will, of course, be plenty of ascending on Ascent with 17 decks and room for up to 3,260 guests in double occupancy.

But you will, of course, have plenty of places to recline and refuel.

With 32 distinct restaurants, bars, and lounges.

Bahamian rhapsody

All good to finish that Bahamas cruise set in front of us on that inaugural Celebrity Cruise preview.

Its three-night Bahamas Getaway, starting from £540pp on November 26.

Leaving port central, Fort Lauderdale. While CC are tempting us too with a hop-on hop-off Debark Tour of Miami (ending at FLL Airport).

And that will save you walking aimlessly block to block in the wrong part of Miami.

Countries, Cruising

MSC, it’s deadly

18th October 202319th October 2023 funtime65

You don’t have to be cop-turned-cabaret singer Jack Grayling to work out that the Good Ship Murder is MSC, it’s deadly.

As soon as you see that deep purple lobby carpeting and Swarovski crystal staircases, all 80,000 bits of them, you know you’re home.

On the same MSC Virtuosa we sashayed down on a port visit in Dublin back in the day.

The Good Ship Murder is the new guilty pleasure Channel 5 whodunit in the sun (or whosunit if you will) for the winter.

Which glided into La Rochelle in its first outing last week.

Ooh La La Rochelle

It gave us the chance to see L’Ile de Ré, the port and the beaches where the wicked deed was done.

While the city in the south-west of France also boasts..

A medieval old town, Courbon Castle, gardens and Coulon, the Green Venice.

Of course, all the destinations on the show are on the MSC roster.

With the jewel of Portugal, Lisbon, trailed for this Friday, October 20.

We expect that the show’s writers will come up with more and more inventive plots and modus operandi.

But not having had an advance peek at the episodes we can only speculate.

That the choice of weapon this week is a poisoned Portuguese custard tart, the Pasteis de Nata.

Lisbon lie-ins

There are a choice of MSC cruises from Lisboa within Europe.

And like Magellan and Da Gama of old, across to the Americas.

When in port, of course, MSC put on a portfolio of itineraries.

So you will want to take in the noted Lisbon trams on a tour of the city.

While they will take you further afield to our old pilgrimage pit stop of Fatima.

And it never hurts to get the prayers in.

Sacred heart: La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona

We can look forward in the coming weeks to visiting Valencia, Barcelona, Le Havre, Valletta and more in the coming weeks.

MSC Virtuosa accommodates over 6,000 guests.

With 10 dining venues, 21 bars, five swimming pools, top ents.

And Rob, the first humanoid robotic bartender at sea.

Hold on tight: With the Scary One on MSC

Now we notice that the fjords of Norway, where we visited with MSC, don’t seem to be on that list.

Where perhaps the genesis of the idea for The Good Ship Murder was formed!

When on a rainy morning on deck while leaning over the rail I felt a hand on my shoulder.

From my Scary One.

Still smarting from a perceived injustice, probably around maxing out the credit card in the on-board boutiques.

MSC, it’s deadly so enjoy The Good Ship Murder for what it is.

Because the only thing you’re likely to murder is the buffet.

Countries, Cruising

On a ROL cruising around the world

11th October 202311th October 2023 funtime65

Now if you’ve got a spare £1,549 down the back of your sofa and want to get away from it all why not get on a ROL cruising around the world.

The round-the-world cruise is of course the ultimate in travel aspiration though as I’m constantly reminded SHE has already circumnavigated the globe as a child.

Coming back from Australia on a working ship under the stewardship of her parents and visiting Tahiti, enjoying a Neptune crossing the Equator party and going through the Panama Canal.

For the rest of us we need to save our pennies for a lifetime although thankfully our friends at ROL are keen to help us out by cutting the price.

Panama chat

Pitching Arcadia’s official 2026 no-fly Grand World Voyage from only £99 per night it all hinges on that magical Panama Canal crossing.

You will, of course, be 100 nights at sea with six overnight stays and a full daytime transit of the canal.

Now your cruise which sets out on January 2026 will take you from Southampton to an atlas of countries (you do the counting!)

You’ll see Seville (from Cadiz) and one of the most beautiful harbours in the world in Valletta in Malta.

And get your first canal under your belt with a transit of the Suez and take in the Middle East and the Gulf.

Before your first overnighter in Dubai.

Asia and Oceania

You’ll dip your feet in the Sub-Continent in Colombo, Sri Lanka , take in south-east Asia before another overnighter in Singapore.

And that’ll set you up for your city-hopping odyssey of Australia and New Zealand before going all tropical in Fiji.

Say Aloha, or Howiya to Hawaii with another overnighter, in Honolulu.

Aperitifs in the New World

Sign of the times: Jimmy in old Los Angeles

ROL clearly don’t want to make waves with the Californians by getting involved in the big debate of whose city is better.

So they’ll get you off board in San Francisco and Los Angeles for overnighters.

Give you a sight of Manzanillo, Mexico, that unforgettable passaged through the Panama Canal, and a taste of Caribbean life.

SHE likes to regale us of when she visited Curacao, where the sea is as blue as their liqueur, although I hit back with Bridgetown, Barbados.

You’ll see both.

Before you head across the Atlantic and touch ground on the westernmost part of Europe, the Azores.

Early bird

Now what you need to know is that you’ll get on-board spending money of up to £1,910 if you pre-book by 8pm next Wednesday, October 18 to secure the lowest price.

And you’ll be on a ROL cruising around the world.