I’d be more parliamo Glasgow (ask your parents about comic Stanley Baxter) than parliamo Italiano but that didn’t stop me trying to be the big cheese in Sicily.
She’d said ‘yes’ the night before and we were enjoying a day tour in Sicily from our base in Malta.
And I was keen to impress her with my smarts on a low base of schoolboy Italian classes.
And so when the waiter asked for my dish I put on my best voce and waited for my treat.
Of course when he returned with a plate of cheese I proudly shook it off.
Insisting to herself that I knew what I was getting all along.
Brilliant Sicilians
Make you an offer: TD will
Now the islanders will quickly tell you that they are not Italians.
But Sicilians, and their dialect is very different from standard Italian.
All of which Travel Department understand knowing Italy’s biggest isle, like the back of their mano.
And they’ll bring you to the Syracuse Archaeological Park, Phoenician settlements, Roman amphitheatres, Greek temples and Aragonese churches.
Just returned from paying homage to the patron saint of lovers and his relics in Dublin. He’s on in his own, and you might be too so to all those fab singles say it loud and proud. I’ll be my own Valentine.
Globe trotting these last years I’ve had the pleasure of Mrs M’s company and group parties but I’ve also been an independent traveller.
Although that has almost always invariably involved the help of Good Samaritans to get me out of any number of scrapes.
We all know, of course, that the best people to help you through your travel planning is your local agent,
And in Ireland, Cassidy Travel have a rich tradition of seeing you’re never alone wherever you go in the world.
All of which is why this Valentine’s Day they’re bringing us these teasers… so go on treat yourself.
Lisbon fun and fado
On the right track: Lisbon’s trams
Fado, I do, I do, I do… Lisbon is the home of fado, the Portuguese song of panging among poor but there’s passion there too.
Cassidy are offering a two-night package for next month, staying in an a 4* hotel with return flights included from €289.
Jump on the trams and stop off at their bars and cafes for the fado and delicacies like bacalhau (dried and salted cod, to you and me) and pasteis de nata (those moreish custard tarts).
Dip your toe in
Love a duck: In Fuerteventura
Single life is all about pleasing just yourself and that’s exactly what you can do in Fuerteventura.
Cassidy are offering a seven-night package at the 4* Kn Hotel Matas Blancas with return flights from €689 for next month.
The adults-only resort has sparkling swimming pools and comfortable
lounge areas so you can kick back and relax.
Me, oh Malta
Have wheels: A lone rider in Gozo
Now the jewel of the Med will always be a special island for myself and my loved one after she jumped at my proposal to join me in life’s journey.
The restaurant is still there and in our haste we left our comp bottle of Champagne… although I dare say they might think I was at it i’d gone back in.
I did though put up a couple of yearning solo pictures (just for her benefit) of Malta and Gozo.
Cassidy are offering a seven-night package for next month at the 4* Paradise Bay Resort, Mellieha with return flight from $510.
With the Paradise Bay Resort boasting four seawater pools, glorious sea views and a private stretch of Blue Flag Beach.
I’ll sail this ship alone
Fjord fiesta: MSC in the fjords
Now while, of course, you can lose your partner on a ship the perception of cruising is that it is a couple’s activity.
True, and we were king and queen of the waves on board MSC in the Norwegian fjords, but equally a cruise is a great adventure for those singles who were on board.
And a few slip-ups I’m sure I was on probation and risking leaving the ship a single!
Cassidy offers seven nights in a studio interior Fantastica cabin for travel on the MSC Grandiosa around the West Med… and I dipped my toe in.
Full Board including all-inclusive drinks package and gratuities for the trip on October 23 with price from €1039 (based on 1 adult). Deposit Only €250
You’ll take off from Barcelona amd visiting Tunisia, Sicily, Naples, Genoa and Marseille
And you’ll get return flights from Dublin… so maybe time to check back in on Valentine there too.
And maybe tell him I’ll be my own Valentine.
Drop into Cassidy Travel today or contact them on 01 8779890.
When you’ve already visited 120 countries (there are 195) then it’s difficult to choose your best… but here to mark her 70th anniversary of her coronation today, are the Queen’s platinum destinations.
That leaves just 75 countries for Queenie to visit too (and she won’t let her 95 years put her off).
Among them Greece, where Philip had some unresolved issues, Madagascar, Cuba, Israel and Peru.
And that leaves the rest of us in the ha’penny place (her head was on that too) when it comes to the Queen’s platinum destinations.
And as the gratitudes are handed out over the course of the year, what most people will be glad of, is the four bank holidays Britons are getting this year.
I’m in good company, with footballers Paul Pogba, Victor Lindelof and Brandon Williams all fans of my honeymoon island… we’re all United for Malta I guess.
The three Manchester United players were only too happy to flag up the jewel of the Mediterannean.
With Malta the club’s official destination partner.
Gozo views
French World Cup winner Pogba said: ‘It’s beautiful, there aren’t a lot of people and I can go there with my family.
He picked out St Peter’s Pool in Delimara.
While Lindelof is rightly taken by Comino.
Valletta you better you bet
The idea is to put together a postcard (remember them) of Malta.
But in the words of the inestimable Chris Tarrant, I don’t want to give you that (well, I do but…) I want to give you this.
Joali, 45 minutes by seaplane from Male, which is welcoming back guests from August 1.
There’s everything you would expect in terms of luxury with your own swimming pool, yoga and wellness treatment, private dining options and the chance to go out to your own desert island!
But get this, you and your friends can buy out the island’s own 73 villas and residences and facilities.
Exclusive use buyout will start from $90,000 per night through to September 30 and $185,000 per night between October 1 and 30 November.
For guests 12 and above an all-inclusive full-board meal plan (including alcohol for adults) will cost an additional $450per night per guest. Visit http://www.inspiringtravelcompany.co.uk.
And whaddya mean you haven’t got that kind of moolah? You’ve been locked down for the last four months!
Insert smiley Ryanair emoji here
You know that we’re getting back to normal when Ryanair http://www.ryanair.com are getting funky with their slogans and emojis again and they’ve only taken to dressing oranges with sunglasses.
Where myself and the world’s luckiest woman still have a complimentary bottle of champagne which we never finished 25 years ago still waiting for us.
Wearing my Sandals on my sleeve
A basket of devourables
Caribbeanophile that I am, I’ve been cheering on the Windies in their Test series with England (don’t tell the Scary One).
The Windies are of course promoting Sandals http://www.sandals.co.uk on the sleeves of their shirts and it is timely as their resorts are open for business with some great offers.
Jamaica has been the prize which has been slipping through my grasp these past couple of years through me being in another part of the world at the time when it was offered, or even worse WORKING!
The famous five with Laura and Hayley centre
But I will keep next January free (promise!) for your seven-night stay at the Sandals Ochi Beach, seven nights from £2,129pp including flights.
You can upgrade too to butler elite room for only €156 which tickled the fancy of my colleagues when I stayed there Let’s rumba in Barbados and http://www.visitbarbados.org who I’ll call Laura and Hayley so as NOT to protect their privacy!
And, of course, I’ve been promising you more Jocktails with a Caribbean twist. They’re coming. Don’t you know how difficult it is to get Falernum in Scotland.
Crazy cruisey government advice
And sporting my medallion on my lapel
So, who thinks it’s a good idea to give the green light to pack out pubs and beaches but thinks it unsafe to let cruise companies and grown-ups distance themselves on cruise ships?
Herself was only a little princess when she passed through the Panama Canal with her parents on her trip home on a working ship from Australia as a child.
Panama dancing
Princess Cruises had been traversing the canal for some half a dozen years by then and have continued to do so (lockdown excepted) and aim to do so again.
All of which will be sweet music to the Indomitable Mrs M who wants an upgrade from that working ship!
Fort Lauderdale R&R
For 2021-22 voyages wil range from 10-15 days visiting 17 destinations in eight countries.