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It was the standard joke but it’s changing and we can now say goodbye to newly wed, overfed and nearly dead cruise cliches.

While our cruising days in our 13 years in our ancestral Irish home were in our early 50s that’s now higher than the average cruise age.

Cruise Lines International Association’s (CLIA) latest annual passenger study has revealed that Irish cruisers are getting younger.

With the average guest age dropping to 46.3 years in 2024 from 46.7 in 2023.

On the up

The finding comes as overall Irish cruise passenger numbers increased last year.

By 11.3% to 65,000, the highest total recorded.

The Mediterranean remains their destination of choice, with 61.3% of all voyages taken.

The Caribbean came in second at 17.7%, while northern Europe was at 6.1%.

The latter scored a 25% uplift in overall journeys taken.

Representing the highest growth among the main cruise itineraries.

With an average length of a sailing is 7.9 days.

Fjord fiesta

Presented with a choice by our pals at MSC to showcase Meraviglia we opted for a cruise around the fjords.

In preference to Europe, having sailed the Western Med, and the Persian Gulf.

While I’d opted to be a landlubber in the Caribbean, Barbados and Tobago.

Now My Little Mermaid soon befriended a Fortysomethings couple on our passage around Denmark and Norway.

And had them upgraded on our hospitality.

In exchange for a crash course in His hobby, tunnelling.

Forties’ forte

Toast of the seas: My date with a Princess

Fortysomethings, and I was one once, come in all shapes and sizes.

And they have all the moves as our cruise crew can testify.

Having partied everywhere from the Med to the English Channel and the Bahamas.

While we don’t even have to leave dry dock as we like to live it up whenever the boat comes in.

Whether Princess, a Royal, a Celebrity or a Swan.

Ship shape

Love me Tender: Celebrity Cruises, Bahamas

And yes, we know that the first rule of cruising is to give Her the deference She deserves as a ship and not a boat.

Andy Harmer, CLIA UK & Ireland managing director, said: ‘Cruise is thriving among Ireland passengers.

‘The convenience and value-for-money a holiday at sea offers shining through.’

All of which means we can say goodbye to newly wed, overfed and nearly dead cruise cliches.

Countries, Cruising, Oceania

Happy talkin’ in the South Pacific

15th April 202415th April 2024 funtime65

Talk about things we’d like to do… happy talkin’ in the South Pacific with Royal Caribbean.

It’s 75 years since Rodgers and Hammerstein showcased the musical and the South Pacific to Broadway audiences.

And in truth little has changed in the idyllic islands in the three-quarters of a century since.

Or going back even further to the 19th century when Robert Louis Stevenson left Scottish shores for the South Seas for his health.

A Cruise Mystery

Our pals at RC have billed their Sunny Views and Exotic Hues cruise as…

‘Go swimming with the humpback whales near Tonga.

‘Explore one of the only uninhabited places on Earth in Mystery Island.

‘Vanuata or simply relax and slip into island time.’

As well as the world’s second-largest double barrier reef around the islands of New Caledonia.

Humpback whales glide between the islands of Tonga.

While what’s not to be intrigued by among the Loyalty Islands.

Quantum force

RC offers a seven-night cruise from €706 for a balcony room on Quantum of the Seas, departing from Brisbane.

For dates in December, January, February and March.

Now you want to know about the ship… well, in the interests of research we tried it out in port in Barcelona.

Where among the features that caught our eye was the FlowRider.

With Irish surfer Gearoid and the cruise crew as our guides I took my board and set it against 100,000 litres of rushing amazingness on the surf simulator.

As with all cruises, and particularly RC, the food and drink is plentiful, mouth-watering and varied.

And the entertainment is different gravy.

Take in an epic fusion of music and innovation at Sonic Odyssey. Or dive into the mysteries of the sea in the spell-binding production, Starwater.

So as Rodgers & Hammerstein posited… if you haven’t got a dream then how you going to make a dream come true?

Go ahead, book your flight out to Australia and sign up for some happy talkin’ in the South Pacific.

Countries, UK

Why, why, why Delilah?

2nd February 20232nd February 2023 funtime65

The female revellers laughed and sang it on the Royal Caribbean party ship with just as much gusto… why, why, why Delilah?

And why, why, why, you might ask have the Welsh Rugby Union cancelled the party and sports anthem?

Because there’s a line in it about jealous Palestinian Samson stabbing his girlfriend because she had taken up with a lover.

Well, by that logic, we should probably ban Othello because he smothered Desdemona… and she hadn’t even kissed Cassio.

Or Romeo & Juliet because he duped her into a joint suicide.

And any number of songs that tell of fictional love stories gone bad.

Anthem as well

Hell, while we’re at what about rugby/national anthems?

And the ‘racist’ verse in God Save The Queen about sending Marshall Wade, rebellious Scots to slay.

Yeah, they’ll keep that but try to ban the England rugby favourite Swing Low Sweet Chariot which is in celebration of Harriet Tubman.

No, the whole thing has gone bonkers and I fear that we have lost the battle and maybe even the war.

Woke me up

I confess I didn’t even know about the concept of woke when I was accused of not being ‘woke enough’.

By an Irish wedding magazine editor who insisted on correcting me in South Africa every time I said ‘he’ and ‘she’ to ‘they’.

And how does this feed into our common thread of travel?

Well, if we’re not careful we’ll homogenise the world and become po faced about life, death, sex, violence… you know the thing.

It’s what I call the ‘literal brigade’, those killjoys who take everything literally and also misuse literally.

As in ‘I literally died’.

Literally genius

Well, to carry on a theme the apparatchiks in the corridors of power are literally wasting their time.

If they think they can get the Welsh rugby fans to desist from singing this belter from one of their favourite sons Tom Jones…

Well, I experienced first hand in my year in Cardiff how passionate and thrawn (obstinate) the Welsh are.

So whether it’s Tom’s Wales, a cruise ship in the English Channel or Las Vegas where he had women throwing their knickers at him…

Then don’t let any woke warrior tell you you can’t sing Why, why, why Delilah?

Countries, Europe, South America, UK

It’s Coming Home Messi’s Homecoming

11th July 202111th July 2021 funtime65

Felicitación Leo, or Felicitats in his adopted Catalan, It’s Coming Home Messi’s Homecoming.

It has been largely ignored in the UK but there has been another football match taking place this weekend.

And the clash of Argentina and Brazil in the Copa America was also watched by hundreds of millions.

King of South America

Argentina, Argentina: Leo with Emi Martinez

Messi has been scratching an itch for some time now.

That his great rival Portugal hero Cristiano Ronaldo has won his continent’s competition, and he hasn’t.

Scratch no more Leo, the Copa is yours. after Argentina’s 1-0 victory over Brazil in the early hours of this morning.

I have, of course, had the pleasure of meeting both Ronnie and Leo… in Portugal and Catalonia.

The One Ronnie

Alas, not in person, but in the ubiquitous paraphernalia in those countries (and I freely give Catalonia that status).

You may usually come for the sun in Portugal but you will soon realise the importance of football.

In the land of Fado and Fatima, Coimbra and Fatima.

Hotti Totti

Where in amongst the tables of Our Lady statuettes and trinkets sat a beach towel of that other hallowed figure, Cristiano Ronaldo.

What is it about religious pilgrimages that the religion of football sits alongside it so easily?

Italians worship both Gods equally and the shops outside the Vatican are a wash of colour.

Make a wish

Yellow and white Holy See and yellow and reds AS Roma.

And where Francesco Totti noddy dolls are all the rage although Ciro Immobile figures will no doubt be sharing the tables now.

Immobile’s team Lazio are named after the province in which Rome sits and both clubs share the Olympic Stadium.

Although you’ll see more light blue flags and scarves the more you get out into the country.

Balkans boy

Go Croatia: With my Balkan pals in Ireland

You’ll see the power and pull of football in Medjugorje too where Croatia captain Luka Modric is idolised.

Now, granted I have taken a circuitous route here.

Before eventually reaching the Great Man.

So back to Messi’s Homecoming…

Leo’s a big teddy bear

Now Argentina is a pleasure I’ve yet to enjoy, and will, but Messi’s home now is Barcelona.

Where if you can’t get up close and personal with Leo you can cuddle a Messi bear.

On a Royal Caribbean ship in Barcelona harbour, a hub for cruise ships.

Now noddy statuettes of the England players will already be in production.

And don’t be surprised to see them sharing tables, shelves and shops with the Queen soon.

But until it happens today belongs to the Little Maestro.

It’s Coming Home Messi’s Homecoming.

Countries, Cruising, Deals, Ireland, UK

The UK’s Four Nations approach is a cruise

24th April 2021 funtime65

It’s been one of the catchphrases of politicians over this Covid year but I prefer it when the UK’s Four Nations approach is a cruise.

And as we look into the horizon to the days (next year hopefully) when we can all cruise around foreign shores again, let’s celebrate our own British Isles.

And that’s what our old friends at Royal Caribbean are doing with their All roads lead to the British Isles pitch.

Whistlestop tour

Now Royal Caribbean helpfully give us a Four Nations approach.

That’s a whistlestop digital tour of the British Isles which geographically (and not politically) also includes the Republic of Ireland to make it five.

All of which we’ll leave to others to debate as cruiseheads leave the outside world behind when we’re on the waters around our shores.

Deal me in

Royal Caribbean is offering three 12-night options on Jewel of the Seas which leaves from Amsterdam… and, of course, Royal Caribbean will keep you abreast of the latest Travel guidelines.

But so that you can get saving here’s their offers:

RC has an interior room for €1369 for August 19, 2022, which checks in at Edinburgh with its Castle, its historic Royal Mile and Greyfriars Bobby statue.

Then up to seee Nessie at Loch Ness, Greenock from where James Watt, the father of steam power, originates.

Onto Liverpool, home of the Beatles and the Son and Heir, over to Cork, the last stop for Titanic before its transatlantic voyage although maybe best not mentioned in shipping circles here.

St Peter Port in the Channel Islands will be your last stop on this tour and obviously we’ve inserted a Jersey Cow heere.

Can I be trusted on a bike? In Amsterdam

Before checking out the White Cliffs of Dover, and we won’t spoil a classic song by mentioning that Bluebirds don’t fly over here and that they’re really found in the US of A.

I said we won’t.

Before you’re back in Amsterdam, and seeing that this trip is for next year and we’ll all be back to normal spend some time in one of the world’s great cities.

We want more

The €1399 package for June 8 for an interior room includes Belfast Holyhead in Wales an Waterford in Ireland too.

While for €1599 for an interior room you can get the jewel in the Irish crown, Dublin amongst the other highlights on the other offers.

And seeing you’re on holiday you can also check out their upgrades to balcony rooms… and you know you’ve got savings for just this option.

So we’re all behind the Four Nations approach… sorry, make that Five!

Caribbean, Countries, Cruising, Deals, Europe, Ireland, UK

Cruiseday Tuesday – British isle be back

23rd March 202123rd March 2021 funtime65

And a return of an old favourite feature here on the back of MSC’s announcement of summer cruises around Britain.

The cruises which will be for us British only will begin with a series of short cruises from May 20 followed by seven-night sailings.

My old pal, the exquisitely named UK&I MD Antonio Paradiso assures us that vaccinated and non-vaccinated passengers will be allowed on board.

Just make sure you have a negative test within 72-hours of embarkation.

And MSC will even get you on shore for excursions though having enjoyed their on-board dining and entertainment….!

Barbados is plain sailing

Ruby do: With Ruby in Barbados

Barbados was my first jump-off point too… jumpin’ into the Caribbean to swim with turtles, and jumpin’ at the Crop Over carnival.

And it is the new jump-off too for Royal Caribbean for your island hopping.

Royal Caribbean is offering up to €350 off your stateroom.

They have a lead-in seven-night South Caribbean island hop holiday price.

On Grandeur of the Seas from €434 from Sunday, December 19.

We’re talking Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao (home of the blue liqueur), St Lucia and Dominica.

Greek island hopping

And we still have a few Greek islands to hop.

Travel Department is running a nine-night holiday staying in Athens and on board the medium-sized ship The Celestyal Experience.

The Greek Islands & Aegean Sea Cruise is all yours to book for September or October from €2,139pp.

Including everyone’s favourite cruise stop-off Santorini.

MEET YOU BACK ON THE SEAS

Countries, Cruising, Flying, Food & Wine

New Year Revolutions

9th January 20219th January 2021 funtime65

And as the Alt-Right tries to wage a Second American Revolution in the US a look at the revolutions we do need.

The air

And clearly the challenge is carbon emissions where EasyJet can take a bow.

The budget airline topped a London School of Economics report in a top five which also includes Alaska Air, Qantas, my old friends at United who flew me to the Deep South and JetBlue.

The seas

And high up for the haters in this Covid and Climate crisis are our cruise ships.

Where my old faves MSC whom I sailed with around the Norwegian fjords, Royal Caribbean who showed off their wares in the English Channel and in Barcelona.

And Celebrity Cruises who treated us all like, well Celebrities, off the coast of Florida on their $1bn state-of-the-art Edge.

A nod here to Princess Cruises who had us on board when they stopped off in Dublin on their way round Britain and Ireland.

And Paul Gauguin Cruises who drew us a picture of tantalising Tahiti who have been keeping us going through lockdown with their images and news.

The food

Food for thought: A tajine

And now more than ever we have to watch what and where we eat.

So that means avoiding markets we know little about in countries we are visiting for the first time.

So for me that was Morocco and I should have gone with the professionals.

Northern Africa and the Middle Eastern food is bright, spicy and often new for Western palates so don’t be afraid to ask.

And if you can find Zuhair, G Adventures‘ Jordanian host extraordinaire then all the better.

All our cultures and culinary ways should be celebrated around the world and animal welfare should be central to our approach.

A joint resolution

I’ve probably already broken my own personal resolutions already so it might be presumptuous to ask my Travel pals to take on these targets.

But, in truth, we’re all in it together…

This past year’s challenges have brought opprobrium upon Travel professionals but lockdown has only reaffirmed how vital it is to us all.

So let’s build it back even better this year.

America, Countries, Cruising, Deals, Europe, Flying, Ireland, UK

New Year’s Holiday Snaps – Happy New Aer

2nd January 20212nd January 2021 funtime65

And because America is at a turning point don’t we all want to get on board.

Especially when on board is with our friends at Aer Lingus who early last year had me all booked up for the Florida Keys when…!

Ireland’s national airline carrier has a January €148 sale for this summer to North America which is Toronto.

Waving the flag for DC and Aer Lingus

While my old favourites Boston, New York and Washington is pitched at €164.

And you know the deal it’s each way as part of a return trip.

Cruise into ’21

Or a Happy Blue Year, the kind of blue you only find on the sea

Or the blue of Greece. So let’s put them together.

Royal Caribbean have on the Eastern Mediterranean sailings we’ve zeroed in on in 2021.

Oh, how I would have loved to have spent the last year on a wee Greek island.

My pals at Royal Caribbean only have a range of Eastern Med packages as we plan to cruise again in 2021.

A six-night Greece and Croatia cruise, leaving from Venice (Ravenna) on Rhapsody of the Seas from €569pp taking in Split, Olympia and Athens.

And you know what I always say… there’s no party like a Royal party.

United in tribute to The Doc

Me and ‘Baby Doc’ Peter

And it might be apt that former Scotland manager Tommy Docherty, an old friend of the Murtys, should die on Hogmanay.

The Doc’s son Peter was one of my earliest pals in Glasgow before his Dad took the family off to Manchester.

Of course being a football man and someone who joked that he’d had more clubs than Jack Nicklaus there’s no single destination to point you too.

But perhaps Manchester United is the club he’s most associated with.

So let’s point you in the direction of a football match day package.

If you’re an Irish United fan, and there are many, you’ll no doubt know about Celtic Horizons and Abbey Travel.

And the important thing is that we will all be together again soon in a football ground.

America, Countries, Culture, Europe, Ireland, UK

Go! Monopoly around the world

10th December 202010th December 2020 funtime65

We may never know why Vincent Van Gogh lost his ear, though here is a fine crime fiction on the subject, but who is to say it wasn’t after a row about Monopoly?

Our pals at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam are the latest to join the Monopoly club.

With the release of their own Vincent board game for Christmas.

Becoming one of hundreds of Monopolys around the world.

With at the latest count, the game being licensed in 103 countries and printed in more than 37 languages.

The Van Gogh version substitutes the Great Man’s art for the traditional streets.

Just painting

While among the pieces naturally is a paint tube though perhaps tastefully no ear.

Monopoly for most of us is as much part of Christmas as Santa, who often brought it fir our stockings, and Christmas turkey.

But it was also brought out when friends came over, or relatives, from home or abroad.

And this was when it got really exciting to see the names of their streets and public transport.

O’Monopoly

So when my Irish relatives got their Dublin board out it had such names as O’Connell Street, Shrewsbury Street in Ballsbridge where I got to stay, and the Busaras on it.

It was very much a point of honour that your country had its own Monopoly.

It was a sign that you were not under the English yolk.

Although when you did get down to London when you were older you didn’t feel such a tourist as you ambled along the Strand, Pall Mall and Fleet Street.

Big Appley

Most spectacular of all was the New York edition where you could say you owned Broadway.

All us poor Scots had to dream of was buying Mayfair, Park Lane or Old Kent Road.

Until the manufacturers stumbled on the rather obvious idea of giving us all what we wanted.

McNopoly

And so we got Edinburgh, and the Royal Mile, Princes Street, the two football stadiums, Easter Road and Tynecastle Park and the rugby ground, Murrayfield.

Now, of course there are now football clubs, film and TV franchises Monopoly merchandise.

D’Ohpoly

In fact you name it and Monopoly have probably adapted it to your needs.

And so I have in my attic a Royal Caribbean cruise game as well as a Simpsons game.

From my travels in Europe and in Orlando.

Of course Monopoly, while having a deeply suspicious Property speculation message in its origins back in 1935, has really become a vehicle for imagination.

And discovering about foreign destinations…

By plane, ship, car… or my personal favourite, a wee Scottie dog.

Caribbean, Countries, Cruising, Deals, Ireland, UK

Cruiseday Tuesday – Bahamian rhapsody and a tale of two Serenas

22nd September 202022nd September 2020 funtime65

And it remained tantalisingly close but not out of reach… the Bahamas.

From my $1bn Royal Caribbean wonder ship Celebrity Edge.

We’d got off their revolutionary tender which moved up and down the side of the ship to take on the theme of the floor it attached to… the Eden lounge, the bar etc.

And when we all got on the smaller boat for a spin out on the sea we saw the Bahamas in the distance which is where you’d be going on your shore excursion.

Now the Bahamas had come on to my radar years before of course when I dallied with a home-made career in Cocktail making and the Bahamas Breeze.

A tale of two Serenas

You don’t need me to tell you you’ll want dark rum, banana liqueur, apricot liqueur, coconut rum, grenadine syrup, honey, lemon juice and orange juice, pineapple juice and ice cubes.

And there are some tips on measures, although if you’re on a Royal Caribbean ship there’s no scrimping.

While back in the office in Dublin I felt that somebody was calling me to get me out to the Bahamas, although not any somebody you might expect.

Serena Williams called me one day to ask when I would be publishing an article I had sent a writer on.

And, yes, as her email makes capital out of it… No, not that one. She is, of course, a Bahamian smasher.

All this Bahamian fun is because my old friends at MSC have been in touch to tell us of their plans for 2021 which include

Their Escape to the Tropics offer where you’ll spend three nights in Miami .

And then four nights on board MSC Armonia en route to Nassau and the exclusive private island Ocean Cay MSC Mraine Reserve.

Prices for this cruise on May 3 start from €401pp for a four-night sailing based on two sharing a cabin, price includes a premium drinks package and service charge (gratuities).