In the event of injury and you dying, and the rapids are nice and lively today. Woaaaaah! Give me a Yeaaah!
Maybe rewind to the bit about dying!
We’re driving down the highway to the Colorado White Water Rafting Center.
And tattooed, man-bunned Brad is banging the top of the roof with the palm of his hand.
Out Travel providers are turning to Adventure tourism as a plank of our comeback.
But will you need a plank yourself, or oar, to dig you out of choppy waters!
Here are five thrills and spills for the future:
Rapids eye movement
White-water rafting, Colorado: Rub-a-dub-dub, three men and three women in a tub.
And one goes overboard, the first ‘jumper‘ of the season.
Thankfully not from our raft, and a support kayaker is there to rescue her.
Your bandanaman hangs in there througb the rapids and my beer at the end of the course has never tasted so good.
Will I try it again? Well, the dudes at Yosemite Tuolomne are trying to tempt me to their Californian canyon. Yeaaah!
Zip-lining, Las Vegas and Barcelona: And yes this should be flying through the air on the Cloud scraper Zip Line the highest in America.
12,000ft above the Arkansas River from one side of the Royal Gorge to another.
But it’s gentle zip lining on SlotZilla through Downtown Old Vegas, Frenont Street.
Where a member of our party got stuck halfway across the street because he was too light!
No such trouble for Bandanaman, or on Royal Caribbean’s Odyssey of the Seas where thankfully the harness kept the shorts up.
A surf bet
California and Barcelona and Portugal: And I’d backed myself to surf after being put through my paces on Royal Caribbean‘s FlowRider in Barcelona.
You see international surfer and Sligo’s own Gearoid McDaid walked on water on their surf simulator and had me doing the same (ŵ
Trouble was when I got to Anaheim later in the year I double booked (not for the first time) and missed out on the surf class.
So I did the next best thing and pulled a surfing pose on Huntington Beach instead.
California is synonymous with surfing but the biggest wave pulled was in Portugal.
And you can check out the water sports at VILA VITA Parc in the Algarve from €330p per night.
While Original Travel offers four nights from £975pp based on two sharing a garden view room or £795pp based on four sharing a family suite.
Hottie for Trotti
Downhill Trottibikes, Switzerland: Now you always have to be ready for the challenge when it is thrown down.
Which it was in the Grindewald area of Switzerland when a Korean took me on.
No, not the slopes, but these scooters… through the forest and onto the main road, weaving between onrushing cars.
Until I passed her and swerved into the bar for my celebratory Aperol Spritz.
OK, it’s a bit of a leap to mountain biking in Mammoth Lakes, California, but I can only work with what I’m given.
And besides I did hone my cycling skills in the Campus, Quinta do Lago, Portugal… til I took a corner too sharply and fell off!
Life is a…
Yes, Ronan Keating, but I bet you’ve never been on The Incredible Hulk at Universal Orlando or SheiKra at Busch Gardens.
You won’t like me when I’ve got an angry stomach, and, yes, I was green around the gills by the end.
Will I be back? Well, I’ve been on rollercoasters from A-B, Aberdeen to Blackpool to C Coney Island to Ooooooohlando.
So yes, and I’ll have my motion sickness tablets with me too.
MEET YOU ON THE THRILL RIDE