Africa, Countries, Culture

Our return to Africa and the Middle East

They’re the cradles of civilisations our modern metropolises still aspire to… and we’re planning our return to Africa and the Middle East.

The grand old cities of Jerusalem and Petra.

Spanning across the ages, one a living museum, the other a Modern Wonder of the World, they have rightly been honoured.

Ten out of ten

Camel ye: To Petra

In Travel + Leisure’s 10 Best Cities in Africa and the Middle East.

Jerusalem I have seen longingly, like Moses, from atop Mount Nebo on my G Adventures odyssey.

Petra, I have stood up close to, by a camel, whose ancestor would have carried a Nabataean in days of yore.

With divining rods for water to trade for the jewels of the desert… the Nalbataean that is.

At the other end of the spectrum, Tel Aviv shows Israel’s modern face.

Now being of the male variety, and so a listaholic, most rolls of honour fall into my remit.

Heroes in Capes

I’d have to see more of Cape Town than just the airport as I did on the way to the Eastern Cape

And would have had Covid not popped its head up as we were puttImg the final touches  to our trip to Napoleon’s island, St Helena.

The old perennials naturally pop up on the list.

Marrakech, the Pink City, was my first port of entry into Africa. 

And, of course, you can’t hold a whole continent against one country for an experience.

Of getting mugged in the souks and food poisoning in the Sahara.

So that the best experience of Morocco was in the airport back in Fez.

Although the good readers of Travel +
Leisure also have a penchant for the Moroccan port of Essaouira.

I’ll take your word for it.

Gulf in class

Where as a memento I brought back a camel scene handbag for my Dear Old Mum which she flashed around her Bridge club.

The Gulf has also been on the radar with visits from Dubair and Muscat delegations during my time in Dublin.

And after they got in touch and we explored opportunities in Abu Dhabi

Of course, it is pure indulgence to sit around and grade a continent and a region’s cities.

But it does serve another, healthy purpose… to travel in our imagination.

To share experiences and knowledge and plan our return to Africa and the Middle East.

Now which are your favourite cities?

 

Asia, Countries, Deals

Carbon neutral in Mauritius

Climate change will continue to hover over Travel but we are addressing it and will always promote best practice such as the resorts that have gone Carbon neutral in Mauritius.

Small islands stand particularly exposed to the warming seas.

And Mauritius in the Indian Ocean is particularly vulnerable.

They are though meeting the challenge.

And Heritage Resorts and Veranda Resorts have stood up.

With the first carbon neutral hotels in Mauritius.

The Resorts will offset all CO2 emissions that would be generated by a hotel stay.

How does it work?

Crystal clear: The Indian Ocean

Well, we’re told this will be achieved through the purchase of carbon credits.

With the Aura Group, an environmental commodity trader and through local carbon offset projects including the construction of a solar farm.

Guests at Veranda hotels can make a voluntary contribution to the projects.

It’s all happening under a Mauritian model (no, not that kind of model but there are plenty of them there) called Now For Tomorrow

Over to you, Thierry

Stitched Panorama

Thierry Montocchio, CEO of the VLH group, puts flesh on the bones.

He said: ‘Our conservation programme that created ten artificial reefs in the Bel Ombre lagoon has enabled significant regeneration of the corals.

‘And we have seen 20 new species of fish.

‘Our Heritage Training Academy has empowered local communities.

‘And offered them a career in the hotel industry.

‘Our new water bottling unit enabled us to avoid using the equivalent of 27 tons of plastic bottles in 2019.

‘And in addition, 65% of our waste has been recycled.

‘Now for Tomorrow is also a first in the sector.

Because it promises carbon neutrality through clearly defined objectives and an action plan.

‘Acting for the climate and the environment means identifying and neutralising our greenhouse gas emissions.

‘And coming up with concrete initiatives to achieve carbon neutrality.’

Local produce

Palm trees: Obviously

The group has also committed to include from the beginning of next year 100% of the fruits and vegetables, seafoods, poultry and meat consumed in their hotels will come from Mauritian farmers and producers.

Or from regional partners in the Indian Ocean.

They are looking to recycle 75% of its waste by 2022.

‘And aims to reduce food waste by committing to a pilot project carried out in collaboration with The Pledge on Food Waste.’

It’s a deal

Meet the locals: I feel peckish

So now you’ve signed up to doing your little bit to save the planet what are you getting for your bucks?

Well, Heritage Resorts has Heritage Awali.

It is billed as the best 5* all-inclusive resort in Mauritius offers you €193 per night per adult.

And the Heritage Le Telfair, your refined small luxury hotel from €124 per night, per adult.

It’s an even better deal

And some monkeying about: But friendly residents

Should your budget not stretch that far.

Then Veranda Resorts has Veranda Palmar Beach  €25 per night, Veranda Paul & Virgine €44 per night and Veranda Pointe aux Biches €54.

And a nod to others

Food for thought: Exotic foods

Now, we all love to let ourselves go when we’re away but excess doesn’t equate to success.

It would be wrong too to accept that all holidaymakers particularly those from my bailiwicks, Britain and Ireland, just go on holiday for the sun, sea and sangria.

And care little about the country they visit or its people.

We take, of course, our inspiration from those for whom conservation isn’t the latest fad.

And have been banging the drum for years.

Luscious landscapes: In Mauritius

Such as G Adventures and their initiative Planeterra.

I saw first it hand in Jordan and they employ it across the world.

While we’re also glad to see that our friends in Mauritius are leading the way on the future coral.

Which my old buddies from the Maldives and Tobago will fully subscribe.   

And finally

The whole planet’s future depends on us doing the right thing… and our small nations are standing up and being counted.

So, let’s hear it for Carbon neutral in Mauritius.

 

 

 

Asia, Countries, Europe

In Bodrum it’s the pipe of peace

The Son and Heir was more used to me ordering a coffee and a biscuit, but when in Bodrum it’s the pipe of peace.

Well they say that in life you should try everything (and that would include the shisha pipe) once.

By hookah, by crook


Smokin’: The hookah

You probably need to be from Turkey, the Middle East or North Africa, to pull off the kasbah chic look.

And so that when I joined the shisha gang next in Istanbul and Jordan I declined the pipe of peace.

My cuppa tea

A beautiful day: Bodrum

Instead I just sipped my mint tea and watched the regulars play chess.

In Bodrum. I dare say there were more than a few Bobby Fischers, but on our first days in the marketplace it was backgammon.

They played a different, more fast-paced game than the one me and my Mum would play back in the stuffy Glasgow suburbs.

It wouldn’t have gone down well to chain smoke in front of my Dear Old Mum, exhort Allah or slam my counters down.

Chairman of the board

Counter attack: Backgammon

The cry of Ally filled the air too in Bodrum when I would try to bring the Son and Heir back into line.

And would discover a market trader swirling the six-year-old in the air exclaiming Ally!

They would look out for the boy every day with the Arabic name every day when we would walk through the market.

We had made instant friends.

And we would enjoy a family holiday we still look back on with joy 20 years later.

A slice of Turkey

It’s all about the… tea

I would fall in love with Turkey, its Turkish barbers, mud baths and Turkish dancers.

Which is why my heart breaks to see the wildfires around Bodrum.

And holidaymakers evacuating for rescue boats.

The Turks have suffered particularly badly through the pandemic.

So the wildfires must feel like the last straw.

Flying Turkey

Flying high: Turkish Airlines, Istanbul

Inevitably, and not without some evidence, the climate change zealots are taking excessive joy out of the situation.

I, of course, do not have the answer. But I would say that we cannot glibly just say make it more difficult to fly.

As exploring foreign countries, meeting the locals and making their friendship is the best way of breaking down barriers.

Because when they do get back on their feet, remember in Bodrum it’s the pipe of peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Countries

Miss Universe Israel treat

Long before I discovered women I discovered countries through sport and beauty contests, so an invitation to Miss Universe Israel treat.

And like, say the Olympics, you could put a face on the countries which you’d never heard of before.

And a beautiful one at that.

Golden vision: Eliat

I don’t know why but Miss Guam has left a lasting impression to this day.

Of course the choice of The Land of Milk and Honey for the 70th iteration of the pageant is a marriage made in heaven.

Israel’s own beauty is beyond question.

Yacht to be here

The Red Sea is where Israelis and Middle Easties, and discerning international travellers, go to party.

And I dipped my toe in the water there, on the Jordan side with G Adventures.

Eliat will bounce with even more beautiful women in November and December.

Eliat nightlife

When stunning women from more than 100 countries will pose before the Red Sea beauty spots.

The Promised Land, as I’ve flagged up from the start, has led the way in vaccination and reopening.

And Miss Universe promises to be the focal point of three weeks of partying across November and December.

Now as a teaser here are some professional model shots we prepared earlier.

Making a splash in the Red Sea
Smouldering
And I’m driving this show

And the stunning panorama of Eliat and the Red Sea.

Now as well as contestants from around 100 countries we’re also promised more than a hundred American celebs and world renowned judges.

And you can get out in the desert too

Now over to the Israel Minister for Tourism for the type of shalom only the Israelis can offer.

Yoel Razvozov said: ‘Israel is a beautiful land of creativity and innovation and we have successfully faced the COVID-19 crisis head on.

‘Therefore, we are among the first countries to host an international event – the unifying Miss Universe.

Practise your wave

‘What a great opportunity. An event celebrating women’s empowerment, optimism, tolerance and desire for excellence, that crosses every geographical and national border.

‘I fully hope that in December we will be celebrating not only the new Miss Universe here in Israel, but most importantly, the end of the world pandemic.’

Miss Universe Israel treat. And, of course, I await the call for Mr Universe soon too.

Pictures by Boaz Samorai, Rony Balahsa and Bandaman.

Countries, Culture, Europe

European Thermal Cafe

That’s me saved from any gardening after pulling my back… so I’ll just lie back in the bath instead and drink in a European Thermal Cafe.

Today’s Thermal Cafe Zoom invitation was the chance to reengage with the Rediscover Europe’s Thermal Towns campaign.

Thermal resorts have, of course, been with us as long as we’ve had thermals… and I’m not talking vests and long-johns here.

Pawmper time

And everyone from royalty to the Great Unwashed have taken the waters around Europe to heal their bones.

Becherovka coffee

More the latter category than the formal although I have cleaned up my act for my forays into Central Europe.

The conversation soon got round, as all good cafe meet-ups do, to coffee.

And our hosts regaled us with recollections of Becherovka coffee in Karlovy Vary in the Czech Republic.

Take the waters in the Czech Spa Triangle

All of which I’ve grown to love except that I haven’t put the Becherovka in with the coffee with cream on top. Yet!

They all usually go into my belly separately.

I’ve unfinished business with the Czech Republic and a return to Hoptown Zatec is on the cards for their Hop Festival.

The route to wellness

Our friends at the European Route of Historic Thermal Towns, Simone and Catherine, appraised us of how European spa towns are reopening again.

A meeowssage

And Southern Europe has 80% bounce back bookings.

There are challenges in Germany though with 16 states with 16 different sets of regulations.

While in France we were informed that they’re allowing only 20 at a time into their thermal baths.

Gee, get G7 leaders moving

The European Route of Historic Thermal Towns lobbies the powers that be hard.

And it was Cultural Route of the Council of Europe certified in 2010.

So seeing that we’re all so well connected then we’ve naturally got onto Boris, Biden, Macron and Angela et al ahead of G7 in Cornwall.

Becherovka time

Where we just know that they’ll be sharing a thermal spa.

We all arranged to meet again for another Thermal cafe later in the summer.

The Dead Sea, Jordan

When hopefully these Dead Sea bath salts from my G Adventures trip to Jordan will have worked their charms.

And we can meet outside for the next European Thermal Cafe, and I’ll promise to keep my top on.

MEET YOU IN THE SPA

 

 

Countries, Europe, UK

Life’s a tent pitch

We had to pack up our tents and leave town by order of the local youth gang after I had moved in on the leader’s moll. Life’s a tent pitch!

These badlands you ask? Well, Castle Douglas, near Stranraer in the south-west of Scotland.

I was 15 and it was an unpromising start to my camping days.

A year later I would be sleeping outside the tent on the French Riviera.

And under the stars because the four of us thought a two-man tent would fit us all (and our rucksacks).

There have been scrapes aplenty in the subsequent years.

Like the time when Daddy’s Little Girl slugged from my whisky hip flask in Donard, Co. Wicklow when she was 8.

She then blamed me saying I’d said it was water.

Canvassing opinion

The camping has evolved into glamping, or at least better canvassed accommodation.

In Morocco and in Jordan.

Mind you I saw precious little of my bed in the Sahara Desert after a run-in with a dodgy Atlas Mountains tagine.

My G Adventures expedition through Jordan was much more palatable although again I had a sleepless night.

With tootache… and earache as my neighbour in our party had the snores.

All of which reminiscing is prompted by news from my old friend from our unforgettable trip to Tobago, Yogi SLM.

About the camping craze taking over the UK.

Carry on camping

SLM tells me that such is the demand for camping breaks in the UK that tents are in short supply.

As well as gas barbecues, Calor gas bottles and camping tables and chairs. And electric bicycles!

Over to Matt Sims, managing director of the Motorhome Holiday Company, cites Brexit as one of the culprits.

He said: “We are observing how the new customs regulation following Brexit has affected the import of essential camping equipment.

“That mean that many large retailers are now out of stock as their bulk buying power has been impacted.

“However these goods can still be purchased by smaller independent camping equipment retailers as they are less affected.”

Deal us in

Matt has been busy doing the homework for us and estimates that more than 50% of campsites will still have availability over the summer season.

For Ceredigion and Powys in Wales, the Isle of Wight, Leyland, Lancashire and St Columb, Cornwall.

Matt is expecting a 700% rise in demand for its motorhome rentals this summer, compared to two years ago, yet is keeping prices frozen at 2019 levels.

All Wight on the night: The Isle of Wight

A three-night rental with the Motorhome Holiday Company starts from £400 and includes rental, Camping and Caravaning Club Privilege membership for the duration of the hire.

You also get fully comp insurance for the first driver, unlimited mileage, breakdown cover, complimentary essentials and telephone support.

A week in the summer holidays from £1260. Shorter breaks are also available in the summer priced from £180 per day.

Life’s a tent pitch… so get out and enjoy your summer.

 

Asia, Countries, Culture, Europe, Food & Wine

Water into wine Israeli delicious

Jesus and the Apostles at the Marriage Feast at Cana. Jesus announces ‘I’ll turn this water into wine.’ Peter pipes up: ‘No, you won’t. You’ll buy your round like the rest of us.’

Just a wee joke as old as the Bible to illustrate that wine dates back to The Chosen People themselves.

And to ask where is the Israeli wine on our supermarket shelves?

Glass act: Israeli wine

Thankfully my Israeli friends sent me a bottle of the golden nectar to celebrate Shavuot with them.

Cheese and wine party

Shavuot marks the wheat festival in the Land of Israel.

And the commemoration of the anniversary of God’s giving of the Torah to the Children of Israel on Mount Sinai in 1312 BCE.

So how do Jews celebrate this, the Feast of Weeks?

Kibbutz in Israel

Well with dairy and the fermented juice of the grape, making it one of the oldest cheese and wine parties in history.

This, and more, we learned from our Israel hosts who warmed us all up on a cold mid-May morning.

Israeli delicious

Land of Milk and Honey they say.

Well each varietal of this elegant First Page 2017 wine from Givat Yeshayahu in the Judean Hills is separately fermented for seven months before blending.

Then 50% is aged in French oak and 50% in stainless steel producing a perfectly balanced and aromatic wine with hints of citrus and green apple.

The blend is 50% Pinot Gris, 40% Riesling and 10% Semillion.

And that bit about the Land of Milk and Honey… well, Israel is also the soil of Terra Rossa, clay and limestone.

No wonder the wedding guests turned to Jesus when they ran ou of this.

Kibbutz for hippies

Israeli trad music

The winemakers at Sphera focus solely on white wines.

Now for many an old hippy, like me, Israel and its communal kibbutzes truly represented a Promised Land.

And an Israeli tour guide from Kibbutz Ein-Carmel on our conference call and tour gave us an insight into the best of Israel.

And showed us how to dance a Hora.

Israel is  Promised Land I have still to set foot on although I have viewed it from 100ft away on the other side of the River Jordan.

On my G Adventures odyssey in Jordan.

And from atop Mt Nebo where Moses looked out onto the Land of Milk and Honey only for God to deny him access.

Worth the wait

Mt Nebo, Jordan

It famously took the Chosen People 40 years to reach The Promised Land following their release from Egypt.

And centuries longer after the various Falls of Jerusalem.

These are challenging times for an Israel which has in so many ways shown the way to the world in Covid vaccinations.

And where Travel routes have just been restored from England.

Promise us a miracle

Site of Jesus’s baptism on the River Jordan

So in this Feast of Weeks, we lift our glasses and toast each other, all of us and the power of miracles.

Water into wine Israeli delicious.

Now back to my First Page 2017 although I will be back to tell you more about Ancient wine.

And give a nod to my old friend from Colorado whose a  specialist in ancient food and wine. 

 

Asia, Countries, Culture, Flying, Ireland, UK

Travel to the Promised Land Israel close

And travel to the Promised Land Israel close before the end of the year.

Israel, as we all know, has been the real leading light in vaccine roll-outs.

With half its population now having had their second jags.

And boy have they been celebrating with this year’s Yom Ha’atzmaut, Israel’s Independence Day a real cause for celebration.

It has brought people out on the streets to sing, dance and watch the fireworks display.

Dublin is El Al City

Israel, of course, was the shiny new El Al route from Dublin for 2020, only for it to be interrupted by Covid.

The good news is that Sharon Bershadsky, Director at the Israel Tourism Office in London made real connections on her visit to Dublin last year.

And she is keen to get the Irish out to Israel as soon as we can.

A land of our childhood

From May 23 vaccinated groups of international travellers will be allowed out to Israel initially in a pilot scheme and then through a phased approach.

And don’t we all want to get out there but again our political leaders continue to drag their feet.

I’ve said it before that I’ve got real close to stepping on holy land.

I have seen Israel from Mt Nebo, Moses’s last resting place, and by the Jordan where John the Baptist baptised Jesus with G Adventures.

Israel is over there: Atop Mt Nebo

And I’m determined to step across into Israel. And yes, you can do countries with G Adventures.

This ancient land of Israel, and all its previous incarnations, is the one country we all know from childhood.

Even if we have never been there, through our religious classes.

So it’s a real challenge to present it anew but one which Sharon succeeded in consumately.

Best of both worlds

No place like dome

The appeal of the Promised Land is obvious, it’s not called that for nothing.

And its historical and religious sites will always draw us there.

But Israel is a diverse country of peoples, cultures, geography… and of course culinary.

There is more than milk and honey although both are to be recommended and used in many of their best dishes.

Tel Aviv and Jerusalem is a combined trip which will give the traveller the best of both worlds.

Modern hip beach Mediterannean Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, where three religions meet.

Hotting up

Good to go

Jews, Muslims and Christians all come together too in Haifa on the northern coast in a model of co-existence.

Israel really is a country of contrasts with the traveller able to lie back and think of…

Well, nothing on the Dead Sea, or take a boat out on the Dead Sea and snorkel or tuck into the barbecue and Israeli wine.

In fact the water may just be a blessed relief.

From the heat of an Israeli summer with temperatures hitting the high 40s… great for me, I must admit.

Because of the year that’s in it, it may be the Autumn or Winter when we all get out there which is real good by me.

 

 

 

 

America, Asia, Countries, Culture, Europe

Spring forward, fall back – time zones around the world

I always keep my watch set at the time of the last country I’ve been to so today that’ll be the Czech Republic.

The idea is to keep something of that destination and wanderlust with me though it can cause problems in the morning.

Beer O’Clock in Zatec

My strange habit all chimes with the Czechs, of course, with their love of an astronomical clock.

Prague‘s biggest attraction, in the Old Town Square obvs but also the clock in Hoptown, Zatec, and its homage to beer.

Scot late the Great

You’re late… but that’s OK in Edinburgh

Balmoral Hotel, Edinburgh: And, of course, today I’ve been all over the place, and logging on for work that was a full month ago.

Now the fastidious and ever-so-decent people of Edinburgh look after people like me.

By setting their clock three minutes fast to allow people rushing for their train at nearby Waverley Station enough time.

Set in the New Town, staring across Princes Street Gardens and up to Edinburgh Castle it also allows you more time to take it all in.

Philly’s hour of need

Billydelphia

Philadelphia City Hall, Philadelphia: And it will come as little surprise to you that I turned up for my Zoom meeting from Washington DC five hours early.

I make only a few apologies for resharing Philadelphia’s Curse of Billy Penn because clocks and times give me that opportunity today.

The 21-year curse on Philly‘s sports teams arose because of the construction of One Liberty Hall.

It exceeded the height of Billy’s statue atop City Hall… a real no, no.

It was all resolved when a statuette was affixed to the final beam topping off the Comcast Cener, now the city’s tallest building.

And the Phillies took baseball’s World Series

Tenerife timing

Give me a bell: Tenerife

Iglesia de la Concepcion, San Cristobal de La Laguna: You’ll be breathless after saying all this.

And breathless from the steps, particularly if you’ve been hiking through rain forests and hills on your CanariaWays trip.

But the views are spectacular. Just don’t ring it too early. Too late.

Ancient times

Time goes slowly: Im Petra

Petra, Jordan: And it may look like a temple to you and me but it’s actually a Treasury.

The same thing to the Nabateans.

It’s also though a timepiece with coded messages.

You won’t need Indiana Jones to decode them though.

Zuhair, G Adventures, expert man on the ground will give you the full lowdown… and Jordan Jimmy will do the rest.

Ben O’Clock

The Elizabeth Tower, Westminster, London: And, of course the tower with the most famous clockface in the world.

Only everyone thinks it’s called Big Ben.

But that is the name of the largest of its five bells.

So who was Ben? Well, either ‘Big’ Ben Hall, the first Commissioner of Works or the boxer Benjamin Caunt.

Ring-a-ding ding!

Countries, Culture, Europe, Food & Wine

Czeching back in for the beer – a year on

When the good people of Prague built their bunkers it was to protect themselves from the atom bomb.

But they were way ahead of the game for lockdown too.

Maybe it was prescient that I spent a couple of hours in a nuclear bunker in Prague this time last year as I’ve been confined to something similar for most of the last year.

And I’ve often thought the food would be better in that Czech bunker too!

I have become good friends with the Czechs over recent years on their many visits to Dublin and also on my trips out there.

Look at the head on that: Zatec, Czech Republuc

Zoom session

And it was little surprise that they were one of the earlier destinations off the block to run a Beer Zoom session.

While early summer saw long tables laid out on the Charles Bridge for the locals to feast.

Like the rest of us though that proved a false dawn and we’re all doing our eating and drinking back indoors now.

Mind you the wonderfully resilient Czechs have been getting on with it, fuelled of course by their water of life, their beer.

Beer, of course, as they have long known isn’t just for drinking, although they do plenty of that.

They consume more of it per head of population than any other country in the world.

Call me keg: In Zatec

Hoptown

But it is also the centrepiece of a Beer Festival in Zatec where among the competitions is the biggest beer belly contest… I’ve been practising during lockdown.

There is an astronomical clock there too themed around beer.

In fact Hoptown Zatec is so engrained (sorry) with beer that they have a Hops Museum there.

And they have a history of foregoing water in times of drought to make sure that the beer harvest doesn’t suffer.

The one beer pleasure I have missed out on my visits to Czechland, and just another reason to go back soon, is a beer spa.

On my knees praying for beer: In the Spa Triangle

Spa Triangle

Now while we went from tap to tap in Karlovy Vary in the Spa Triangle it wasn’t beer we were supping but lukewarm, salty age-defying spring water.

While unbeknown to me then there was a Beer Spa in town.

The First Beer Spa is the place to go where you will recline in a royal oak whirling tub filled with brewer’s yeast, varieties of hops, malt and peat extract.

While bathing you can drink unlimited dark and light beer which the experts tell us will hydrate us (we’re not arguing).

They insist it will release tension, fatigue and stress, wash out harmful substances and regenerate our skin.

Lennon would have liked it here: In Prague

Only here for the beer

Other spa towns boast beer spas, and all I can think of is that the Czechs had heard of my reputation before my first visit to their country, with Jesenik in Moravia standing out.

Now I know what you’re thinking… if I mention Prague and the Czech Republic she’ll know that I’m just going out there on the lash.

Well, the answer is take her with you. They do a double bath in the Novosad Harrachov Beer Spa in the apron of the Krkonose.

If you’re only staying in Prague (and I’d recommend you veer further afield) then ZOTO Beer Spa is where you want to go.

Fill the bath up… with beer

Hello duckie

While going underground again the Sladovna Beer Spa in Cerna Hora has a rich selectio of beer procedures.

As it is I’ll just fill up my bath as I do every Sunday with my Dead Sea salts and my rubber ducks.

And sip my Strahoven beer and dream of getting back out to the Czech Republic for a spa weekend.

Now that should fool her!