In 30 years with my own jet-setter I’ve only ever been to bed with one person on a flight, and it didn’t qualify for the Mile High Club.
Now neither bald boy Brian nor I, a beardie bandanaman, would have ever have chosen each other as priority sleeping partners.
But lying next to each other on the fold down beds in Turkish Business class was, of course, a treat.
And with a full belly and a woozy head from the flowing fizz we had the sweetest dreams.
And landed refreshed and ready for the Maldives but that’s another story.
EasyJet loving
All of which daydream recollections came flooding back when learning of the overamorous pair.
Who were chucked off an EasyJet flight to the Balearics.
A case of woah, we’re going to Ibiza, all right.
Now the Mile High Club came to be known over the years as the ultimate expression of cocking a snook at authority.
And who can forget the tale of Michael Hutchence supposedly making sweet music with Kylie Minogue on his knee?
Underneath a well-placed coat.
These days, of course, cabin crew would certainly pull up such behaviour on the grounds that the seat belt light was on.
Loo love ya, baby
The alternative, of course, the rest room would require the dexterity of Harry Houdini.
Yesterday’s airplane loos must have been more spacious affairs.
While passengers would also have been able to enjoy that post-coital cigarette too as smoking was allowed too.
And even encouraged as you can see if you are fortunate enough to board a Concorde as we are at the National Museum of Flight, near North Berwick.
And see the dainty ashtrays provided for the great and good who went supersonic.
One can only imagine which of the famous celebs enrolled in the Mile High Club when they went transatlantic on that bird.
Suite loving with Etihad
Today it requires a little more imagination and a lot more money to get into the Mile High Club.
By either flying on your own private jet or booking a private suite.
Now we’ll leave you to do the heavy lifting here.
But we’re told that they can range from $7,000 to $12,000 for a one-way trip and can even reach up to $23,000 depending on the amenities.
And it’s probably no coincidence that it’s pitched at the dollar market.
We’re told too that Etihad’s Residence, a three-room suite, can cost around $32,000 for a trip from Abu Dhabi to New York.
Perhaps outwith our loved-up couple’s budget who’ll likely face a hefty fine and ban for their few minutes of fun.
Me and Cami with the long blonde hair
We might not get tomorrow 
Sarong but oh, so right
