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Barbecues or barbies, or braais. It’s outdoor eating, which being of the Scottish variety I only do abroaD.

We’ve got an old barbie rusting away in the shed, and frankly it all seems like a lot of bother.

To do yourself, which is why I let The Scary One

And yes, I know this is the one area where men become possessive and posturing about making the meal!

I’m thinking barbies here in Austria as part of my Topflight http://www.topflight.ie walking and culture trip to Ehrwald, Austria, and also into Bavaria.

I’m eating the best Austrian lamb chops, beef sausages, steaks with chips and mixed veg. At the Sonneburg Hotel www.sonneburghotel.com.

In the apron of the Tirolian Alps http://ehrwald.tirol.gv.at.

Which beats on the sofa in front of the television at home, I grant you.

Now I’ve been lucky enough to pick away at many a chicken leg at friends and social functions.

There was good ole Southern fried chicken in Tennessee with grits. And how Elvis loved his Mamma’s cookin’… The King of Kings

And the best fish on the Red Sea, and I got first dibs because I was the first out of the sea Petra and the sands of time.

Straight in and straight out as the others snorkelled around looking for sunken planes and submarines.

But nothing has beaten the braai that I had in a township in Port Elizabeth, South Africa.

Watching the braai men feed the meat trays into the stone ovens while I talked to those who fought in the armed struggle.

And drank ourselves some beer. Day in the life of a township.

And if you want to sample more South Africa… What’s new pussycat?

Throw another prawn on the braai, min!

Water is the key to life and, of course, when you are up a mountain it is your fuel to climb.

Which is why my fellow climbers on my walk up to the Zugspitze, the highest peak in Germany https://zugspitze.de/en/summer, were sporting platypuses in their backpacks.

Which are little bags which you place inside the rucksack, fill with water which comes up through a tube to a valve.

From where you drink in God’s own spring water.

It looked all the life to me like my fellow walkers on my Topflight trip www.topflight.ie to the Ehrwald in Tirol in Austria were gulping in air.

I should have tested them beforehand.

But heck climbing isn’t an Olympic pursuit, it was all good clean fun and water and air is free. Right?

Wrong.

At the Knorr Hut, the only and last watering hole on the way up we stopped for some refreshing refills of water.

And some for ghoulash soup, German sausages, beer, and me some hot chocolate.

Now I’m a bit of an aficionado of hot chocolate from my travels.

And nothing can compare with the una ciocolatta de calda densa I had on the Via Francigena walk into Rome Small roads lead to Rome.

It was like dessert.

Knorr’s tasted like it was out of a machine at best. https://www.alpenverein-muenchen-oberland.de/knorrhuette

Noticing that our guide Reini was drinking a pint of water I asked too for some tap water.

Which was promptly served and I was then told that it would be €3.90.

I wish I’d had the comeback line Mick gave me in the sauna later when confronted with the same problem in Oberammergau.

‘Yes, it was still water, but it’s still bloody expensive.’

What made matters worse was that you could refill your bottles with water from the tap in the WC.

I would have stuck around to chat but I reckon they’d have charged me for the air.

You can stay at the Knorr Hut too when you’re walking between Austria and Germany.

I prefer Ehrwald though and the charming Daniella and her Topflight hotel Hotel Sonnenburg http://www.sonnenburghotel.com.

In fact I want to take her home only I reckon the Scary One might have something to say about that.

More Tirolian mirth later and tales of our very own Ehrwald Presley.

And here’s a recap of another Austrian adventure Soll Mates.

They are oft-used expressions… ‘it’s a small world’, ‘the world is a small place’.

And while it’s true that it’s easier to get to Hawaii now than ever distance has never stopped the Pacific Islanders.

And they have sometimes touched us in ways we never knew and not just surfing

The Hawaiians in fact revolutionised popular music when they answered the call to be farm hands in the Deep South.

And brought their slide guitar way of playing guitar with them.

The Bluesmen, Robert Johnson et al, adapted it to their style and the rest is history. The story of the Blues

You want to go out there?

American Holidays www.americanholidays.com and Princess Cruises www.princess.com has:

A Hawaiian Island Roundtrip Cruise from San Francisco from €2,079pps.

All flights included and a two-night stay in the Westin St Francis San Francisco on Union Square.

With a 15-night cruise onboard Grand Princess. Travel March 2020.

Dubai calling

I could have been in Dubai rather than slip-slidin’ away down German and Austrian slopes on a toboggan

But I’n having a ball with Topflight www.topflight.ie and Ehrwald, Tyrol https://www.tyrol.tl/en/tyrol/lechtal-tannheimertal-zugspitz-arena/ehrwald/.

But I will get to Dubai.

And I suggest you do too with this offer from Royal Caribbean www.royalcaribbean.ie

They have seven-night sailings from €226pp.

And you want a refresher on what goes on on a Royal Caribbean ship… A Royal Party.

‘I’ll be as long as I bloody well like’ or whatever the German is… perhaps ‘Achtung’.

One of the great myths is that German-speaking people have no sense of humour.

Along with Scottish people being mean.

I’ve been fortunate enough to get to know more of Germany and Austria these past couple of years.

I took in the German Travel Mart in Dresden and got der skinny from all the federations… Dresden’s renaissance.

While I lapped up Hamburg with relish… Hamburgers and ships.

While in Soll and Salzburg I learned about a hammer and nail game in a bar and much more besides… Soll Mates

They really do have a huge appetite for life and laughter particularly of the lavatorial kind.

As I’ve found out on my Topflight trip of Ehrwald… www.topflight.ie.

Why else would they have ‘fahrt’ at the end of every word?

And so to Helmut who was waiting for us as we took a toilet break at the end of a gruelling walk up the Tyrolean mountains.

He obviously had never heard of Bandanaman, well there are some mountain top outposts where word hasn’t reached them.

And how I opened a train platform toilet with my finger nail. I thought it was broken!!!

You want to see how the Greeks display their women’s and men’s loos

Thought you might.

And here are some Greek treats from my recent trip… Flyday Friday… avert a Greek tragedy.

But it’s Austria and Germany this week and if I can avoid Helmut then I’ll bring you more tales of their mountain folk.

MEET YOU AT THE TOP

Travelling around the world can leave a lasting impression on you.

My squint nose is a result of me trying to break up a fight between two women at the Oktoberfest in Munich when I was a young buck.

I didn’t see where the punch came from but I swear it was from the Bayern Munich hunk of a boyfriend.

And I got a toboggan burn from sliding down a toboggan run sans toboggan in Kirchberg,

I blame the schnapps.

Now following the theory that what you can’t do when you’re 20 you’ve even less chance with at 53…

I tried to rectify that here in Ehrwald https://www.sonnenhang-ehrwald.at/en/zugspitze/z-ticket/ in the Austrian Tirol.

Where for a couple of euro courtesy of the Z ticket above which serves your other transport needs you can whizz down a toboggan run.

On your side…

Where’s my Mammy

The good news is that I can go back tomorrow and make good on it by showing my skills and bravado to my group.

And that it will match my scar on the other arm from years ago.

The bad news is it stings and I’ll have a scar on the other arm.

Now I’ve climbed a pretty big mountain today on this Topflight group http://www.topflight.ie.

And Reini, our guide tells us tomorrow’s will be twice as high.

What could possibly go wrong?

I’ll come clean and admit that I did try this old toboggan lark a couple of years ago with The Scary One in Soll.

And while she drove safely I went down full throttle with similar results.

Judge for yourself… Soll Mates.

And the Camino passes through everywhere. Above. A pilgrim’s prayer

There are two types of people in the world Pt 134. Husbands and wives.

Agreed? And it’s our differences that keep it interesting and not just the bumps we have in different places.

Which is why holidays together can be a challenge but all the more rewarding for it.

Here’s a couple of tales along the way which might chime with your story…

Soll Mates, Secret Portugal, Hamburgers and ships, The call of the fjords.

We are ultimately hard-wired differently, and most notably with us it’s windows.

No, not those windows, although I’ll give them the once over on the oul’ Moanday Morning one of these weeks.

I’m talking about the ones that keep the cold and the outside outside. Like this…

The thing is though that Herself loves to throw open the windows while Myself prefers them closed.

And so we have been undoing each other’s work for northwards of 25 years

I’m always interested to see how the rest of the world does things when I’m abroad.

And if they’re all wrong too.

Now, I know the Germans and the Austrians are uber cool when it comes to nudity.

And it’ll be you who sticks out a mile in a sauna if you’ve got a towel on.

Different story in your Istanbul hamam though… Wham bam, thank you Hamam

But come on, what’s with the open window in the men’s public toilet in Oberammergau?

This is one spectacle you don’t want to see.

Visit www.topflight.ie, https://www.passionsspiele-oberammergau.de/en/home,

And watch out for the best window… the window to the world in this Travel blog.

I’m in Ehrwald, Austria this week and I’ll tell you all about it.

After a good sleep with the window closed.

Visit https://www.tyrol.tl/en/tyrol/lechtal-tannheimertal-zugspitz-arena/ehrwald/.

Winter is the best time to go on holiday.

For one it’s cheaper, it’s also less busy and you can choose from sun or snow.

Sometimes you can even get both.

God willing I’ll be up some Austrian and German peaks when you read this, on a Topflight group trip www.topflight.ie.

Walking… it’s safer for me and everyone else on the mountain when I don’t strap boards to my feet.

But if you want to take to the slopes Topflight will escort you, teach you, if you need, put you up and entertain you.

I’ll keep you up to date with all they and our other winter activity holiday providers have to offer.

But you want to know about the sun just like my coach driver who dropped me off at Dublin Airport did.

He’s just back from Spain where it’s been 32C.

If you want to find a less busy part of the Costa del Sol then Nerja might just be up your calle.

Travel Escapes and Cruisescapes https:itaa.ie/2019/09/10/neria-winter-sun/ has seven nights at the 4* Perla Marina Hotel and return flights to Malaga for €449pps for November 5.

They obviously know what we like because they’re tempting us with a food and wine tour.

Which reminds me of those pouring vessels of theirs: porrons.

And how I was allowed to have the proceeds poured into my mouth when I was only nine.

Maybe it was because we’re from Glasgow.

Winter is also a better season for your city mini-break.

There is never a bad time to visit Rome, it’s just that it’s cooler outside of summer.

Cassidy Travel has a two-night break in December from €169pps with flights from Dublin.

You’ll stay in the 3* Hotel Amalfi, a converted historical palace overlooking the cathedral of Santa Maria Maggiore.

Just a few minutes’ walk from the Colosseum.

Flight departs December 13. Visit www.cassidy.ie.

And for some tips on Rome and its environs, visit Small roads lead to Rome.