You know you’re secure when their knife of choice has tweezers and scissors, yes, Switzerland is as safe as chalets.
And even more so when the Swiss Army Knife you are given by their delegates at your Irish fair give you is a chocolate blade.
Of course, we’d never recommend, or expect to carry anything with us for protection abroad but it is, alas, a consideration these days.
We’ve perhaps been blessed to have stayed safe on our travels, apart from a close shave involving a barber and false guide in Marrakech.
While we have the salutary tale of a relative who was drawn into a card school in Thailand and was cleared out.
India’s top-rated gambling guide Gamblino (no, us neither) have ranked the safest places in Europe based on a number of metrics.
And our yodelling, like clockwork, friends come out on top but where else is as safe as chalets, ice houses, canal boats or crofts?
Always an Alpine hand
And the Penthouse of Europe has the best views and the most chilled people.
Like Interlaken inspiration Brigitte and Ehrwald Presley who, while the rest of us stressed-out types shout at the world, they yodel their way through the day.
Unperturbed by the sort of things that might trouble us like crime, road troubles or natural disasters.
All of which puts the Swiss top of the list and Austria also riding high in the charts.
Ice to meet you
And in the Land of Fire and Ice too where you’ll find the friendliest guysers you’ll ever meet.
Apart maybe from the exorbitant costs.
But they say the best things in life are free.
And you lose all your inhibitions when you’re swimming in their fave icy pools with new friends.
Nordic Nirvana
And it must be something in that Nordic air, and we’ve experienced that first hand in the Norwegian fjords.
Because Norway, Denmark, Finland and Sweden also make it into the top ten safest places in Europe.
And the stressbuster to beat all stressbusters.
I mean you know your safe when you can take off all your clothes and sweat it out together in a sauna together.
Hello from the Low Countries
Where the crime rates are low and the approval ratings are always high.
In Luxembourg where despite its miniature size you’ll feel free as a bird surrounded by forests, gorges and the Moselle river valley.
Or the liberal Netherlands where they stay cool, cycling along canals, eating crepes or getting high in brown cafes.
A hundred thousand welcomes
And it would surprise absolutely nobody to see Ireland up there as one of the safest countries in Europe.
Where you can still stop and talk to strangers in the streets of its capital Dublin and get the craic.
While out in the country, often called Real Ireland, and certainly my Dear Old Mum’s heartland of Co. Donegal there’s always a welcome in the hillside.
And quirkily where there is no rail service, getting about requires a lift from Maura.
And she’ll drop you off at Seamus’s who will take you as far as Breid who is going your way.
And so Switzerland is as safe as chalets and across Europe too.
