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Holidos and Don’ts staying safe manual

22nd November 202423rd November 2024 funtime65

We’re at our best but most vulnerable on vacation as evidenced by the tragic events in Laos so it’s timely to present our Holidays and Don’ts staying safe manual.

Unless you’re very lucky or prepared, or both, you’ll have taken a wrong turning which thankfully you’ve lived to regret.

Mines was a ‘false guide’ in Jemaa el-Fnaa in Marrakech who brought me to a Turkish barber and between them tried to rob me.

All of which triggered a spiral of events with snakes (reptiles and human), berbers, camels and sickness in the Sahara.

Guide to your safety

Friendly locals: And Laos people are hospitable

Your holiday nightmares will be your own but there are some common themes running through our odysseys.

It helps, of course, to have the advice of those who have gone before.

Which is what we try to do here with the help of the travel providers with whom we have shared our journeys.

And so we turned to our friends at World Nomads travel insurers who put this handy guide together for us.

Keep your wits about you

Culture vultures: And join in the partying

Drink and food safety: Methanol poisoning is a serious risk in places like Laos.

Stick to sealed bottles from reputable vendors and avoid unregulated or homemade alcohol.

Motorbike safety: Motorbiking is a popular way to explore Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand, but accidents are common.

Always wear a helmet, check your travel insurance for motorbike coverage, and ensure you have the correct license.

Renting legally reduces the risk of fines or disputes.

Also important to note that you can’t be insured for an illegal activity – which includes driving a motorcycle without a licence.

Stranger danger

Calming: Laos waterfalls. Photo: Michelle Zammit/Cheeky Passports

Scams to watch for: In Cambodia, beware of ATM card skimming, fake orphanages, and overly friendly strangers offering unsolicited help.

In Vietnam, avoid offers to smoke tobacco pipes or purchase antiques, which can lead to fines or legal trouble.

Petty crime prevention: Bag snatching and pickpocketing are prevalent, especially in crowded markets and on public transport.

Keep valuables close and avoid leaving them in hotel rooms unattended.

Nightlife safety: Drink spiking is a growing concern in areas like Laos and Thailand.

Never leave your drink unattended and be cautious when accepting drinks from strangers.

Jonathan Frankham, General Manager for World Nomads in the UK and Europe, said: ‘We were deeply saddened to hear about the tragic death of Simone White in Laos.

‘Southeast Asia is a stunning destination, offering diverse cultures, breathtaking landscapes, and vibrant cities.

‘It’s a favourite among young and adventurous travellers. However, visitors should be aware of potential risks and take proactive steps to stay safe.’

And we couldn’t say it better so follow these Holidos and Don’ts staying safe manual.

Asia, Caribbean, Countries, Deals, Europe

Are the world’s best hotels the world’s best for you?

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Congrats Capella Bangkok, voted best place to stay, which triggers a question are the world’s best hotels the world’s best for you?

Now, I’m usually content with a three-rolls bed, a power shower and a hearty breakfast.

But I can be won over by bells and whistles too and a killer view.

Ah, Capella

All of which Thailand’s jewel, the Capella, has in spades in its 101 suites and villas.

Described as an award-winning new-age sanctuary perched along the meandering bends of the Chao Phraya River.

With a two-night reservation at the Best Available Rate in any room category to receive a complimentary third night.

So what other special features separates the Capella Bangkok from the rest?

The Capella helpfully offers daily breakfast for two guests, a bottle of house Champagne and daily sunrise yoga by the river.

Daily complimentary non-alcoholic mini-bar.

And here’s the real kicker… complimentary pressing of up to five pieces of clothing per stay!

All for TBH 75,300, or 1,712 of your Earth pounds.

Sandals in the swim

Now no vista can be replicated but those special features can and we’ve enjoyed them around the world at other hotels.

And dare we say… better.

So, let’s start with sunrise in Sandals Barbados.

Where you can be greeted with your very own Bim bird who will perch on your hot tub as you soak.

With glass of Champagne in hand from your complimentary daily bottle.

Other drinks are available obviously from your complimentary alcohol maxi-bar.

Now should you struggle to get through that bottle by yourself you can always share with your pals down in the pool.

Or have cocktails in the island pool bar before swimming up to your room.

And if you’ve forgotten anything your personal butler will have seen to it for you.

Your inner Robinson Crusoe

Thumbs-up: Porridge and Janelle at Castara Retreats in Tobago

Now should you think someone of your standing shouldn’t be asked to share your pool then Kuramathi in the Maldives obliges.

With your own secluded pool outside your bedroom with views of the Indian Ocean obviously.

While if you’re looking for something even more exotic and authentic why not go for what we’ll call the Robinson Crusoe upgrade.

Sleep in your very own hammock on the balcony at ‘Porridge’ and Janelle’s Castara Retreats in Tobago.

And for a morning stretch allow your yoga specialist to lead you through some gentle moves.

Porridge in the morning: With Janelle and ‘Porridge’

All of which goes to show that luxury can be just around the corner which is, in fact, the Tobagonian pledge,

Your hotel, your stay

And if it looks like they don’t have a hotel near you on the World’s 50 Best Hotels here.

There could well be an alternative, just as good, or better, on your doorstep or a quick flight away.

Which is why we would never dream of staying anywhere else than George and Amal’s favourite stop-off, the Dylan in Amsterdam.

Yes, we can have passed down a list but are the world’s best hotels the world’s best for you?

And so as we see that the Gleneagles in Perthshire, Scotland makes the list.

We prefer to recommend Andy Murray’s more intimate and welcoming pad, the time capsule Cromlix House, near by, in Stirlingshire.

Game, set and match to us.

Asia, Countries, Sport

The new 19th hole, Thai golf therapy off course

24th May 2024 funtime65

It’s always been my best hole, in the bar afterwards, but that might change with the new 19th hole, Thai golf therapy off course.

I’ve spent a lifetime persisting in the belief that because I hail from Scotland, the Home of Golf, I will eventually master the game.

Only to thrash around courses from Aberdeen to Ireland to Royal Lytham to Liverpool to Cannes.

Each time playing one or two good irons to delude me into thinking I should give the Royal & Ancient game another shot.

There’s probably something in what Mark Twain said about golf being a good walk ruined.

Only I’d take it further and agree with Robin Williams’ assessment on golf… it’s torture.

Which is where eastern zen has come in to help.

Total golf

Wellness pioneer Chiva-Som Hua Hin in Thailand is expanding its menu with the launch of the Total Golf Enhancement Retreat.

Total Golf Enhancement supports guests in developing their game, as well as post-golf muscle recovery and relaxation.

Every Chiva-Som retreat begins with a Health and Wellness Consultation.

So you’ll get a golf fitness assessment, golf fitness training and a golf lesson.

All of which supports endurance, range of motion, strength and balance, as well as reducing the risk of injury.

Improvement is assessed by one of Chiva-Som’s in-house pros during your rounds, providing guests with health insights.

The next course

Claret Jock: That year’s Champion Golfer

The golf will be links, by the sea, at nearby 18-hole Sea Pines Golf Course in Hua Hin.

For those looking to vary their golfing locations there is…

Black Mountain, a nine-hole course location and Pineapple Valley Golf Course, an award-winning 18-hole course, at an extra charge.

Now the next bit on Thailand is where Chiva-Som really scores, a 50-minute Deep Tissue Massage.

And a complimentary Aloe Body Mask to support skin recovery following a day outdoors.

Additionally, you’ll get unlimited access to the Water Therapy Suite.

All of which includes a steam room, sauna and Jacuzzi.

Food for thought

Now Chiva-Som encourages rather than discourages eating that lovely Thai food.

So guests can enjoy exceptional Wellness Cuisine at the resort’s signature beachside Taste of Siam restaurant.

With veg, fruits, and other edible plants sourced from Chiva-Som’s Organic Gardens.

The retreat offers guests the choice of a daily treatment.

A traditional Thai Massage, Chiva-Som Signature Massage, Invigorating Massage, Relaxing Foot Massage, Oriental Scalp Massage, Hydrotherapy, a manicure or a pedicure.

In addition to the optional physical analysis on arrival, guests can undertake a complimentary skin analysis.

The inclusion of a post-stay consultation supports guests in continuing their sustainable wellbeing journey at home.

All’s well

The Total Golf Enhance Retreat is available on a five, seven, and 10-night basis.

That’s inclusive of an individual health and wellness consultation.

A complimentary treatment per night of stay, three wellness cuisine meals per night, daily fitness and leisure activities.

And unlimited use of the Water Therapy Suite as well as at least one round of golf.

Those staying 10 nights in Thailand can also benefit from an included golf lesson.

Deal us in

Five-night Total Golf Enhancement Retreats start from THB 24,000++ (£520pp per night for a double occupancy and THB 32,000++ (£670pp) per night for a single occupancy.

It’s enough to make you get the clubs back out and give it another go.

And I do live in officially the best place to reside in Britain North Berwick, looking out over the links golf course.

Or perhaps head for your nearest golf range, and as I’ve shown in Portugal, Las Vegas and a simulator in Turkish Airways airport lounge in Istanbul.

I do a lot less damage with a net up.

So for all us golf duffers let’s take heart.

From the new 19th hole Thai golf therapy off course.

Africa, Asia, Countries, Oceania

You book like a million pounds

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Because we’re worth it Destinology, who promote themselves as tour operator to the stars and Premier League, like to flatter us by saying… you book like a million pounds.

So sit back, bask in the compliment, and pore jealousy at what you could have won if you had brains in your feet rather than your head.

Destinology has only launched a three-month long once-in-a-lifetime trip to Africa, India, Asia, Australia and Dubai.

Costing a million pounds for a family of four.

The perfect ten

Of course it’s the highest of high end and activities including off the beaten track wildlife and wilderness excursions.

And explorations of some of the most vibrant and cosmopolitan cities in the world.

Accommodation has also been carefully picked to include fancy shmantzy hotels, wilderness lodges, rainforest cabins and glamping.

While air travel is business class or by private helicopter charter.

You’ll take in ten different countries… so that’ll be 100,000 worth of each.

Animal magic

Cool for cats… in the Eastern Cape, South Africa

You’ll kick off in Kigali, Rwanda, including three nights in a Forest Villa in Volcanoes National Park with a gorilla trekking excursion.

Guests are then transferred by private charter helicopter to Akagera National Park for safari… and we’re past masters here.

Sunset Champagne cruises, helicopter tours, a stay at Gorse Elephant Camp, explorations of the Cape Winelands and Treetop villas await in South Africa.

Before travelling to Mauritius for nine nights at the One&Only Le Saint Géran.

And then the Seychelles archipelago for an eight-night stay in a private villa at the secluded Six Senses Zil Pasyon.

Asia major

Most trips to India are rushed but Destinology offers 12 nights.

Plenty of time to explore the heritage, glitz and glamour of Mumbai.

A private culinary walking tour of New Delhi, a visit to Agra – home to the Taj Mahal and the 16th century forts.

Followed by an exploration of Jaipur, famed for its spice markets and Rajput architecture.

The Shangri-La hotel in Bangkok, Thailand, is what you’d expect it to be.

And you’ll be treated to a private Grand Palace tour.

There is a two-night stay in Elephant Hills in a lake view villa and guaranteed Dumbos.

Before heading off on jungle trek and canoe excursions.

And then taking in seven nights in the tranquil Devasom Khao Lak Beach Resort & Villas on the island of Khao Lak.

Singapore is noted for its tasty street food.

So dig in, and be sure to take in the private City and Bay of Gardens Tour.

Before retiring to a Premier Harbour View Room at the Swissotel The Stamford.

Out of the city is the enchanting heart of Bali, Ubud.

With adventures await in the lush oasis including a Monkey Forest and Tegalalang Rice Terraces.

Plus a full day tour of Bali’s lakes and temples.

Seven nights at the refreshing Alila Seminyak follow where the emphasis is on the pristine beaches and spa facilities.

Oz-some

Destinology are all over Australia, of course.

And you’ll get to do Sydney Harbour Bridge, hiking and wildlife in the Blue Mountains, Ayers Rock.

The world’s oldest rainforest at Daintree, and an eco-snorkeling adventure at the Great Barrier Reef.

And if you’re pooped at he end of all that then don’t fret.

Golden Dubai

You’ll finish up with seven nights in Dubai, the ‘City of Gold’.

Now just to get those lottery numbers right.

Because we know you and Destinology are right you book like a million pounds.

So check out the full itinerary here.

Countries

Switzerland is as safe as chalets

21st February 202321st February 2023 funtime65

You know you’re secure when their knife of choice has tweezers and scissors, yes, Switzerland is as safe as chalets.

And even more so when the Swiss Army Knife you are given by their delegates at your Irish fair give you is a chocolate blade.

Of course, we’d never recommend, or expect to carry anything with us for protection abroad but it is, alas, a consideration these days.

We’ve perhaps been blessed to have stayed safe on our travels, apart from a close shave involving a barber and false guide in Marrakech.

While we have the salutary tale of a relative who was drawn into a card school in Thailand and was cleared out.

India’s top-rated gambling guide Gamblino (no, us neither) have ranked the safest places in Europe based on a number of metrics.

And our yodelling, like clockwork, friends come out on top but where else is as safe as chalets, ice houses, canal boats or crofts?

Always an Alpine hand

Slayed it: On my sled in the Australian Tirol

And the Penthouse of Europe has the best views and the most chilled people.

Like Interlaken inspiration Brigitte and Ehrwald Presley who, while the rest of us stressed-out types shout at the world, they yodel their way through the day.

Unperturbed by the sort of things that might trouble us like crime, road troubles or natural disasters.

All of which puts the Swiss top of the list and Austria also riding high in the charts.

Ice to meet you

And in the Land of Fire and Ice too where you’ll find the friendliest guysers you’ll ever meet.

Apart maybe from the exorbitant costs.

But they say the best things in life are free.

And you lose all your inhibitions when you’re swimming in their fave icy pools with new friends.

Nordic Nirvana

And it must be something in that Nordic air, and we’ve experienced that first hand in the Norwegian fjords.

Because Norway, Denmark, Finland and Sweden also make it into the top ten safest places in Europe.

And the stressbuster to beat all stressbusters.

I mean you know your safe when you can take off all your clothes and sweat it out together in a sauna together.

Hello from the Low Countries

Can I be trusted on a bike? In Amsterdam

Where the crime rates are low and the approval ratings are always high.

In Luxembourg where despite its miniature size you’ll feel free as a bird surrounded by forests, gorges and the Moselle river valley.

Or the liberal Netherlands where they stay cool, cycling along canals, eating crepes or getting high in brown cafes.

A hundred thousand welcomes

With queen of Spain Teresa, Eoghan Corry and Sharon Jordan in Dublin

And it would surprise absolutely nobody to see Ireland up there as one of the safest countries in Europe.

Where you can still stop and talk to strangers in the streets of its capital Dublin and get the craic.

While out in the country, often called Real Ireland, and certainly my Dear Old Mum’s heartland of Co. Donegal there’s always a welcome in the hillside.

And quirkily where there is no rail service, getting about requires a lift from Maura.

And she’ll drop you off at Seamus’s who will take you as far as Breid who is going your way.

And so Switzerland is as safe as chalets and across Europe too.

Asia, Countries

Chiva-Som unThai those knots

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It’s been a pain in the neck working from home so thankfully we’ve got Chiva-Som to UnThai those knots.

Chiva-who? Chiva-Som in Hua Hin, Thailand.

And Zulal Wellness Resort y Chiva-Som which is set to open in Qatar in late 2021.

And they are offering complimentary live online wellness classes.

So we can look forward to up to eight classes a month, all starting from next week.

You’ll be treated to virtual exercise programmes and self-training tutorials.

And there will be talks on nutrition, family wellness and indigenous wellness practices.

All of which are designed to help participants achieve their goals.

And we all need that as we suffer with lockdown and social distancing.

TAIM healing

Now as every day is a schoolday we’ll be immersing herself in Traditonal Arablic and Islamic Medicine or TAIM.

And I have delved into the healing powers of hamams so I’m a convert.

Zulal will be the world’s first hub for TAIM.

It’s a 360-degree approach to healing sourced from Islamic medicinal historians and herbalists, and mind-body therapy.

First up on Wednesday is Self-stretch for Office Syndrome at 9am (GMT +1).

A bit more on what they do (from their manual).

They apply ergonomic principles to workstations to help prevent and alleviate a variety of conditions, such as back and neck pain.

They insist that small adjustments and simple stretches can help blood circulation in the body.

And it means that muscles are never in a state of atrophy for too long.

A history of wellness

A helping hand: Or is she badgering him?

Chiva-Som has been offering holistic wellness therapies for the last 26 years to guests worldwide.

And now the launch of Zulal Wellness Resort by Chiva-Som continues this commitment.

The online wellness instructors will teach new strategies and techniques and offer supportive advice and personal feedback.

To see the monthly schedule and register visit its Facebook page or contact reception.

Now for many of us wellness and pampering is an indulgence that helps make a holiday.

But there are those out there, like my old friend SLM and her yoga Nidra, who can come into your house via Zoom.

And leave you with that feeling of rest and recuperation.