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Who wants to be a ranch hand?

2nd May 20262nd May 2026 funtime65

And when a guy in a Mississippi bar starts up with a lasso you put it on the bucket list for a twirl… so who wants to be a ranch hand?

America is many things to many people but for the post-war Old World generation their first introduction to the US was cowboy movies.

So when you get the chance to saddle up on the Prairies you take it with both reins.

As I did in Colorado channeling my inner Buffalo Bill.

With my fellow congress of rough riders of the world.

Although I’d say that easy-going Issy was made from a different breed from Bill’s steed Brigham.

And Issy would doubtless be happy to leave the other horses to rustle the cows.

The Big Sky

Having spent five minutes trying to get her to turn round I reckon I’ve some way to go to be much use around a range.

But luckily our old pals at American Sky have the very thing for wannabe cowboys and girls.

A chance to Live the Ranch Life in the Wild West.

Set within 60,000 acres in Arizona’s Rincon Mountains, on the eastern edge of Tucson.

Tanque Verde Ranch offers an authentic yet upscale take on the classic dude ranch experience.

Hit the trail

Guests can spend their days riding through desert trails, hiking among cacti or soaking up the scenery.

Before gathering for relaxed, communal evenings.

So get your cowboy boots on for this Wild West itinerary.

The special ranch

The Tanque Verde Ranch Stay is an authentic six-night Western adventure.

Which combines activity, nature and heritage.

From £2,649pp, on a full-board basis, including flights, accommodation and selected activities.

Now American Sky suggest a minimum three- night stay.

But they can tailor-make your holiday to suit you and book any number of nights at the ranch.

America, Asia, Caribbean, Countries, Deals, Europe

Every day’s a Tropical Sky schoolday

30th October 202331st October 2023 funtime65

Now as I’ve still so much to learn I rely on the dream-makers, our holiday providers, to teach me… and I know that every day’s a Tropical Sky schoolday.

Because Tropical Sky it was who schooled me in snorkelling after earlier false starts in Barbados.

I’ve picked up a number of other attributes on the way.

Keeeeep dancin’: With Judy Murray in Portugal

Learning to play tennis like a grand slam champion from Judy Murray in Quinta da Lago on the Algarve.

Ride like Roy Rogers in the Wild West and cling onto a tub on the rapids in Colorado.

Paint like Picasso in Tobago though I kept reaching for the mixing pot to drink out of habit thinking it was rum.

Or cook like Craddock and bake like Berry anywhere between my old stomping ground of Co. Wicklow and the States.

All these skills and a few more, tobogganing, scootering, paddel (a hybrid between squash and tennis) and paddle boarding I’ve also picked up along the way.

Although I was for once tongue-tied when asked to blow my own trumpet (still to do that one) by the inimitable Marsha in Tobago.

Picture perfect: With SLM & Marsha in Tobago

When she asked our party what we were good at.

And while my colleague (and her favourite) Vic wowed her with his acumen in building his own house.

My claims of being a poet from my time at the Edinburgh Fringe didn’t impress her and she pipes up: ‘Jim, you got no skills.’

Of course I showed off me skills while seeing off Vic at the goat racing with Marsha watching. No kiddin’!

All of which came to mind while browsing through the list of activity holidays Tropical Sky have to offer in their latest mail drop.

Antigua, set and match

Curtain Bluff hotel, Antigua: Anyone for learning tennis, and the five-star Curtain Bluff Hotel, in verdant Antigua.

Look out for Antigua Tennis Week each Spring and Tennis Challenge Week in November.

A seven-night AI stay at Curtain Bluff Hotel, with flights from London Gatwick, arriving 20 May, is from £3,679 pps.

Curry favours in Sri Lanka

Anantara Kalutara Resort, Sri Lanka: Now I’ve another of my go-to holiday providers, G Adventures, to thank for teaching me the secrets of curry making.

Not all of them mind, I could still do with Spices Cooking School at Anantara Kalutara Resort to fill in the rest.

Their interactive classes see you explore the spice markets with the chef and pick out the ingredients before tucking into your meal with Prosecco.

A seven-nighter, arriving 12 June is from £1,629 pps half-board with return flights from London Heathrow.

Cookery classes can be booked for an additional cost of £124 pp.

Wild West Hero

Tanque Verde Ranch, Arizona: Now forgive me if I retell the story of how I ran into a cowboy ex-Aberdeen University classmate in the baking sun on the Great Plains.

And I asked him as he taught me how to ride a horse if he missed the sub-zero temperatures of the north-east of Scotland.

Now Tropical tell us that nestled amidst the desert and mountains of Tucson is the Tanque Verde Ranch.

A six-nighter at Tanque Verde Ranch, arriving 12 June from £2,649 pps, sharing a Road Runner Sala on full board basis.

With return flights from London Heathrow with Tropical sister company www.americansky.co.uk).

Painter Lucia

Anse Chastenet: In St Lucia is a long way from Joe Reilly’s art class painting apples that looked like men’s parts.

As it happens it took my Tobagonian pals to make an artist of me and show that I could paint… in this case a mill.

The Anse Chastenet is nestled within a 600-acre estate with beaches, coral reefs and views of the Pitons.

Let artist Naja Misaki Simeon take you on a group class on Tuesdays and Wednesdays or opt for private sessions for a fee.

A seven-nighter AI at Anse Chastanet, arriving 12 June, is from £2,449 pps with return flights from London Gatwick.

Atoll order

Fushifaru Maldives: Now what to do when you’re caught between a coral and a hard place.

As I was in Kuramathi when swallowing water I tried to stop on the Indian Ocean floor.

Only to be scolded for killing the coral while it was cutting my feet!!

Snorkelling was my limit but if you want to extend yourself to scuba diving Best Dives at Fushifaru Maldives will show you how.

A seven-nighter AI at Fushifaru Maldives, arriving 20 May is from £3,299pps with return flights from London Heathrow.

And for my Tobagonian pal Marsha’s information.

America, Countries

Buffalo Bill and the move to Cody Yellowstone, Wyoming

11th September 202311th September 2023 funtime65

The biggest fight of them all was over his final resting place so a delve into Buffalo Bill and the move to Cody Yellowstone, Wyoming.

Because if you believe the Wyomingans’ version of the story the Great Man does not reside in Lookout Mountain, near Denver in Colorado.

But in his hometown of Cody Yellowstone.

And that the Coloradans buried a vagrant there and claimed it was Bill, while they have the real man.

Bill and his pals

To cover our bases though, and because his legend has endured from the days his Rough Riders rode into my own hometown of Glasgow I paid homage on our Coloradan trip.

And learned of Buffalo Bill and the move to Cody Yellowstone, Wyoming.

And learned of his friendship with Sitting Bull, Annie Oakley and how he had the great and good of the Old and New Worlds eating out of his hand.

So it will come as little surprise to you then that he brought Teddy Roosevelt and the Prince of Monaco to Cody’s Hunting Lodge… there’s a party.

Of course you can channel your inner Bill in the Great American West in Pahaska Teepee.

Go riding (June to August) and even stay in the modern cabin-style rooms

And eat and drink like a cowboy (well, maybe a wee bit higher-end) in their full service bar and restaurant.

Life’s a Butch

Of course not every cowboy sought the grandstand because, of course, they were hiding out from the law.

And Wild West fans and tourists will lap up the Old Trail Town/Museum of the Old West.

It’s an enclave of 27 authentic frontier buildings, including one used by Butch Cassidy and his Hole-in-the-Wall Gang.

Now our Wild West heroes used horses, stagecoaches, trains, and in Bill’s case the ship to get about.

You, of course, can get out to Cody by big bird with United Airlines, a 13hr 19mins trip from London, via Denver, and into Bill’s birthplace from €1,055pp.

America, Countries, Ireland

Denver the Aer High City

18th August 202318th August 2023 funtime65

Things are looking up, as they always do when our old friends at Aer Lingus announce a new North American route… it’s Denver the Aer High City.

Denver, in the apron of the Rockies, has one of the most spectacular vistas anywhere to fly into.

You could even be tempted to tarry awhile in the airport were they not an artsy party city awaiting for you.

The oft-told joke the locals will tell you about their city is that because of the altitude, with being a mile high, it’s a cheap date.

And the thin air means you only have to drink half as much to get twice as drunk.

The Milk High City

The Mile High City is indeed a mind-altering experience and that’s even if you do decide to body swerve the local weed.

Nothing is as it seems when the Denver Milk Market, the cornerstone of the historic Dairy Block, is a beverage and culinary magnet.

The downtown Denver LoDo Wazee Street institution bills itself as a 16-venue space with the whole panoply of culinary delights.

This being Denver craft beer capital of America, of course you’ll never be far away from a bar.

And the Milk Market boasts Moo Bar, the Stranded Pilgrim and the Cellar.

When we visited for American Travel Fair brunch we had an Otterbox stainless steel thermal tumbler thrust into our hands.

With Welcome to Colorful Colorado branding.

And were invited to fill up the booze stations.

I wear, of course, my white Milk Market band to this day to promise myself that I’ll return.

A high old time

And when I do I’ll make fun again jumping on and off the city’s free shuttle bus on the 16th Street Mall.

And take in the LoDo Historic District and the ornate Denver Union Station and maybe take in a game in this sports-mad city.

You will be on a high right through your stay.

While Colorado is indeed colorful as Otterbox promised us with an array of must-see attractions out of town.

From wild west pilgrimage at Buffalo Bill’s graveyard to the natural Red Rocks auditorium.

Jocky Mountain High: With my Scots buddy Neil at Red Rocks

And then out to Golden, home of Coors beer, Steamboat Springs and its open steam baths.

To Boulder, home of Mork and Mindy and its great outdoors at Open Space and Mountain Parks.

While if you’ve the stomach for it why not ride the rapids?

Just the ticket

You’ll truly not want to leave and have an airport that boasts an art gallery and roof putting course.

But don’t take it to my lengths where you mistime your connections.

And find yourself on an eight-hour lay-off and then miss your London link to Dublin through misreading your ticket.

No problem there with your new Dublin to Denver route, commencing on May 17 next year and operating four times weekly.

All of which means with the reboot of Minneapolis/St Paul that’s 19 transatlantic routes on April 29.

Initially operating four times per week, before increasing to a daily service from October next year.

Why not set yourself the challenge then of getting around all the destinations starting with Denver the Aer High City.

America, Countries

Colorado Colorodeo

21st March 202321st March 2023 funtime65

We’ve all made buck eejits of ourselves at times and for yours truly it was a Colorado Colarodeo.

It was all mechanics at Mile High Stadium on the rodeo simulator.

When I endured my five minutes of shame on the big screen on the field.

Memories of which are sparked here today as we hear of the 49th running of the Snowmass Rodeo from June 21-August 16.

Roam on the range

A summer staple in the Centennial State visitors can enjoy live music, cowboys and cowgirls, horses, livestock and family fun.

Every Wednesday at 7:00pm, rain or shine.

Now Coloradan cowboys and girls will be more than happy to get you up on the saddle.

Though my steed when we roamed on the range, Issy, had only two speeds, slow and still.

Not that that would put me off giddying up for a bucking good time at the rodeo.

A quick browse of Aspen Snowmass strips back what it’s all about for those rodeo first-timers.

Saddle up

As cowboys and cowgirls ride into the arena for the Grand Entry to pay tribute to the American Flag.

They explain too that there’s more to bareback riding than meets the eye.

‘With nothing to hold but a suitcase-like handle on a strap, the cowboy must maintain balance and remain controlled and coordinated.’

We’ve got something of a preview of what horse roping is all about.

From further south in Mississippi when we watched a Good Ol’ Southern Boy rope in the waitress in the local Cleveland bar.

Make of this what you will: ‘The header takes off in pursuit of the steer, roping it around the horns, neck or a horn-neck combination.

‘And then turns the steer quickly to the left so the heeler has a shot at its hind legs.’

Bucking bronco

Practice makes perfect: The mechanical bull

Of course the main event is the bronco riding, or what Snowmass calls Saddle Bronc Riding.

And what you mustn’t do is: ‘touch any part of the horse or yourself with your free hand.

‘Or buck off before the eight-second whistle, or you’ll be disqualified.’

So don’t be left at the gate… take our advice and become a Colorado Colorodeo.

Canada, Caribbean, Countries, Europe, Ireland, Oceania, UK

Car hire and higher

21st July 202221st July 2022 funtime65

Off on a road trip, well it’ll cost you because it’s getting car hire and higher out there.

And nowhere more so than my spiritual home Ireland where in some counties they’re a must.

My old mum would oft refer to her homestead of Donegal in north-west Ireland as the ‘forgotten county’.

And it didn’t help when they ripped up the rail tracks in 1959.

Donegal driving

So now if you want to get about you need to either have a car, rent a car…

Or your hotel or B&B can get Eileen to ask Aoife who knows Niamh is passing and can get you halfway.

Where Bladhana can get you to Sorcha, but make sure you’re ready or they’ll leave without you.

By the end of it all, of course, you’ll feel one of the family.

Of course, many of us prefer our independence, but alas that comes at an increasingly greater price.

With DiscoverCars.com revealing the average cost of hiring a car in 2022 rose by 267% on the previous year.

Their data highlights an average increase of 47% worldwide.

With the average cost of a one-day car hire rising from £43 to £67.

So to get on the road in Ireland you’ll shell out £155 (yes, we know they’re in the Euro), up from £42.

Now we would never let a small thing like expense put us off a destination… we’re just giving you the road manual.

On the road again

Obrigado: With the Scary One in Portugal Centro

The world’s second biggest country takes some getting around.

And that no doubt is the spiel for a spike of 264%.

Full reveal here on the third biggest mover here, Portugal-Azore Islands.

Because when we toured Hidden Portugal, Portugal Centro, we had the services of a driver/guide/historian and Coimbra’s most famous son.

Jose Madomis of Madomis Tours.

Now we’ve availed too of the services of our own fellow Britons, ninth with an 85% rise, but still cheaper than the trains.

With Katarina in Bohemian Switzerland in the Czech Republic

The Czech Republic, fifth at 131% but again with a history lesson thrown in… and Becherovka and salty age-defying water.

While Greece is tenth at 81% which may persuade you to do a Pheidippides and run the 26 miles or so from Athens to Marathon.

There’s no rhyme nor reason why the other countries on the list should have seen such hikes.

But Israel, Iceland and Albania are countries where you need wheels because donkeys correctly have rights now.

Slowly does it

Of course with everything on the rise sometimes the best we can hope for are small increases.

And the Canary Islands at just 2% leads the way here.

Though if you do hire a car (at only £25 the cheapest on the list) then why not walk some of the way.

With CanariaWays where you’ll experience the many Tenerife eco-systems before refuelling at the Franco-theme Bar in Afur.

Fly drive

Now for many of us getting behind the wheel of a car in a foreign country requires a deep breath.

And my only attempt, in a Fiat 500 in Cannes, and it’s dashboard gearstick, never got out of the car park.

Although I kept that quiet from the organisers of the Florida Keys road trip.

Alas, but fortunately for other road users, it got cancelled by Covid.

Cut-price cars

Rocky mountain high: Colorado Rockies baseball team

Unbowed, I’ll be back though to the Sunshine State and you will too particularly with a 23% decrease in the hire of a car.

Bookended in the top four is America’s Playground, Colorado.

That’s when you’re not roped into their abseiling, freestyle rock climbing, white water rafting or roadside skiing.

Who is squeezed in between the two, why Guadeloupe and Australia… let’s go Outback.

And let’s not be put off when we see the car hire and higher.

Africa, America, Countries, Europe, Sustainable Tourism

Heaven is a place on Earth Day

22nd April 202222nd April 2022 funtime65

And this is when thoughts turn to where you get away from it all and where Heaven is a place on Earth Day.

And where they actually do put the Earth first.

Deliver Jordan

Our friends at G Adventures with whom I traversed the Dead and Red Seas and Wadi Rum are all about sustainability and community support.

And while others do the old cultural appropriation thing (Boris Johnson in India anyone) G actually put something back.

G shares its good fortune with local communities in partnership with Planeterra Foundation, its non-profit partner.

And they build organic farms and restaurants in Jordan et al.

And provide tourist opportunities for trekking and cycling enthusiasts.

Colossal Colorado

Now as you’ll see from my cover page Brad left an impression on me when he told us in the Rapids…

This is our office so look after it.

Colorado truly is America’s Playground and you’ll find Brad and his man-bunned freestyling the Rockies.

And even one or two dry-skiing along the side of the road, all protecting their greatest asset.

Protect our skies

And so we’ve done the Earth, now the Wind (or we’ll call it the skies) before we alight on the Fire.

And there are few clearer skies than the night ones in Tenerife.

Where at the top of Mount Teide National Park you can be among the stars.

Yes our CanariaWays all-action walking party but also the Bull, Bear, Saturn and Uranus (no yours).

And all because they keep their island clean.

Clear the air

Now we can all do our little bit to arrest global warming.

And Raggy Charters Whale Watchers and Dolphin Watchers in Gwberha (Port Elizabeth when I visited) do more than most.

As they plant a speekbom plant every time they take the boat out to the island to rebalance emissions.

And for those of you who pay attention (and I’m also talking to you up the back) it might just save air travel.

Land of ice and fire

And, yes this is the Fire bit of the Earth, Wind and Fire elements.

And we have our old chums at Hayes & Jarvis to show us around Iceland.

They urge us to embark on a South Island road trip from Reykjavik around the Golden Circle.

And you’ll take in the Strokkur Geyser, Gullfoss Waterfall and Thingvellir National Park.

While all visitors to Iceland naturally take a dip in the geothermal waters of the Blue Lagoon.

While if you’re very lucky you’ll get to see the Northern Lights on a clear night.

And so you’ll have your own go-to places but try these out.

And you will find Heaven is a place on Earth Day.

America, Countries, Culture

America The Old Faithful

15th December 202115th December 2021 funtime65

It’s one of my go-to countries where I always feel right at home… America The Old Faithful.

It’s the land of the young and the hopeful, and those in their golden years.

Yes the best old geezers… and I’m not talking Joe Biden or Donald Trump either.

No, these are the old geezers of The Great American West, chief among them Old Faithful.

Old geezers

The geezer in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming erupts every 44 minutes to two hours, rather less frequently than the Scary One.

And it is known to spew 3,700 to 8,400 gallons of boiling water to a height of 106 to 185ft feet lasting from a minute and half to five minutes.

Wyoming lays claim to most of the 3,500sq mile Yellowstone Park, while Montana and Idaho also own some of it.

And much of it is covered by the Father of the National Parks Scot John Muir, who hails from just along the road from us here in Dunbar, East Lothian.

Wyoming’s footprint on Yellowstone is undeniable but more contentious is their ownership of Buffalo Bill.

Fits the Bill

A good old Wild West row has brewed ever since William Cody died in 1917 in Denver, Colorado.

The Coloradans make a big thing, as you would, of that and any visitor to Denver should check out The Buffalo Bill Grave and Museum on Lookout Mountain.

Thing is though that the good people of Wyoming claim Bill for themselves and insist that it is a vagrant who rests for eternity in Colorado.

And they celebrate the superstar cowboy in the Buffalo Bill Center of the West.

We’ll maybe leave that to Wyoming and Colorado to fight over and just be grateful that it’s double bubble.

Buffalo Bill, of course, was a global star of his time on account of his touring Rough Riders which included one Sitting Bull.

Little Big Horn

And you can see where he and Crazy Horse had their greatest triumph in Little Big Horn, across the border in Montana.

Now if you have a middling or less knowledge of the Mid West don’t beat yourself up over it… as even American History students are always learning.

I don’t know where Ted Ransen is now but I hope he’s on a ranch.

Because he knocked the narrow-minded Scottishness out of me when he told me that if I didn’t know the capital of North Dakota then how should I expect Americans to know the capital of Scotland.

You don’t forget things like this.. it’s Bismarck.

And finally the US is the gift that keeps on giving and you can always rely on America The Old Faithful.