I’ll let you into a little secret… and I know all the right people! Portugal will be the country we’ll all be visiting first when we come out of lockdown.
No, it wasn’t Maria dos Anjos, the niece of the last Little Shepherd of Fatima, who told me though she probably knew this already, and that COVID-19 was coming.
I consider myself partially responsible for not sharing the impending pandemic.
No, not Maria dos Anjos
Because Maria was trying to tell me something of import back in 2018. It’s just that my Portuguese stretches to Obrigado and Obrigada.
Which, going off on a tangent, my Dear Old Dad loved to screech out long after we’d returned from the Algarve.
Susana mirabilis
We all have Susana Cardoso, the Director of Portuguese Tourism in Ireland http://www.visitportugal.com to thank for giving us a preview of what Portugal will look like in the coming months.
Venice of Portugal: Aveiro
And the good news is that we will all hopefully be able to see first hand with September slated as the month…
When Irish visitors will all be reacquainting themselves with an old and trusted friend.
Yes Portugal, and for me also the best guide a man or woman could have, and that man and woman is me and the Scary One.
Splendid self-isolation in a castle
The one and only Jose Madomis https://www.madomistours.pt, the Special One, who showed off his beloved Coimbra and Portugal Centro.
The Portuguese are showing the way as the gold standard on safety and accountability with their Clean and Safe stamps which almost 3000 tourism companies have signed up for.
Beach life
And for those of you who are sick and tired of being palmed off with promises that amount to very little.
Under the guise of ‘The New Normal’ or ‘O Novo Normal’ as they never say out there.
Let me now tell you that there will be sand.
All this space
Not for sunbathing yet, but then what a waste of time that is, but you will be able to book your own space on the beach and also go into the water…
And that means you mad surfers too with Portugal a Nirvana for those who walk on water.
All the old favourites
Social distancing is key to us all enjoying all the things we always love in Portugal.
Hotels, restaurants, cafes, golf, museums, castles and parks and it is a price well worth paying.
Of course, all of this is marivilohso, but are we going to be able to get out there.
It’s not surprising that Andy Murray has had to have his body reconstructed from spare parts.
Because it’s not easy carrying the sporting hopes of an entire nation, Scotland, on your back.
And yes, we know he’s also British.
But, of course us Scots love to joke that the English media call him British when he’s winning.
But Scottish when he loses.
Or golf
To us Scots though he’s always a winner, and we will miss him not playing at the US Open in Flushing Meadow which starts this weekend.
He won the title here, the first of his three grand slams, in 2012.
I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with Andy’s mum, Judy, the world-renowned tennis coach.
And Strictly Come Dancing sensation.
Judy was giving a group of British and Irish journalists a coaching class at The Campus sports complex in Quinto da Lago in Portugal.
Or cycling
Of course it was a great privilege although there is always a class joker who has to be brought to heel.
Coaching schools are increasingly popular holiday packages for the whole family.
And as well as Judy’s classes, The Campus offers the best in golf technique and expertise at the Paul McGinley Academy.
And beautiful courses.
If it’s cycling you like then this part of the Algarve is unspoiled, quiet.
Or yoga
And for this cyclist whose bike is in the shed because it’s so hilly around Co. Wicklow in Ireland, Quinto most importantly is flat.
Portugal has become a great favourite for sports fans with golf holidays long established.
But if your game is of the crazy variety then you might prefer a kick about instead.
Even if you’re not Premier League standard, and top English teams go to The Campus on training camps, then there are plenty of other football courts around.
A daily five-a-side game was something I got up looking forward to in Cabanas.
Or football
With Duffers, Ray and the local Portuguese kids.
The banter was great between Manchester United fan and Paul Scholes lookalike Terry and Leeds United fan Ray.
Terry still had the skills that saw him have trials at Chelsea although age had caught up with him.
While your diarist got to sport his green and white hooped Sporting Lisbon top although no Cristiano Ronaldo me.
I love an oul’ festival…. they’re almost always not what you expect, and even better too.
Take for example the Festival of the Trays which too me conjures up an image of people banging beer trays over their heads.
It used to be popular in the Seventies and was featured in one of Esther Rantzen’s That’s Life shows I’m sure. I have vague recollections of doing the same one Hogmanay (or New Year’s Eve to those not of the Scottish persuasion).
This Festival of the Trays in Portugal though is far more serene. In commemoration of Queen Saint Isabel and the Holy Spirit, this is all about hundreds of young girls carrying trays of gifts on their heads.
The trays are blessed, there are street decorations and quilts in the windows. Flowers are thrown over the procession too, naturally!
The Procession of the Tabuleiros, heralded by pipers and fireworks is led by the Banner of the Holy Ghost and the three Crowns of the Emperors and Kings.
Bringing up the rear are cartloads of bread, meat and wine, pulled by the symbolic sacrificial oxen with golden horns and sashes. Visit www,tabuleiros.org and http://www.visitportugal.com. The festival starts today and goes on until July 8.
Ah! But if Maria and the Von Trapps had climbed every mountain as The Sound of Music told us they did they would have ended up in Hitler’s back yard.
Sorry, I just tell it like it is and so do the Salzburgers who burst our bubble on a tour of the city…. they do take you to some great Sound of Music sites and it is seriously good fun.
Me telling it like it is, it’s important to flag up what a great summer destination Austria is and what great deals there are out there.
TUI has last-minute deals for July 3, seven nights B&B staying at the *3 Hotel Obermair, Mayrhofen, from €449pps or seven nights half-board at the *3 Pension Hannes, Neiderau from €469pps. Visit http://www.tuiholidays.ie or call 1850 45 35 45.
An offer you can’t refuse
I went into the doctor and told him that I felt like a small Mediterranean island. He told me to stop being Sicily.
Like many who have visited Malta I spent way too short a time in Sicily on a day’s catamaran cruise. Of course, I will be back and when I do I will take it all in, The Godfather history, the beautiful coastline and vibrant villages.
You can get great value with a late deal to Sicily with Sunway. Seven nights for €499 on July 6. Visit http://www.sunway,ie,
The best China
You’re my rock: Tang and Zhang
Zhuhe, Tang Yixin and Zhang Ruoyun. Which, of course, is congratulations, but you knew that anyway.
And maybe that they are a Chinese celebrity couple who chose Adare Manor to marry.
Tang and Zhang are TV drama stars back home and have 33 million followers on Weibo, the social media platform in China. Now Bandanamann followers with a wee nudge we might make a dent in that!
Tang and Zhang’s combined showbiz name would be Tang, meaning she’s in charge which is a bit like most marriages really!
If that conjures up images of a packed Blackpool or Brighton or Magaluf then we wouldn’t blame you.
But this is The English Beach in Great King Valley in La Gomera.
La Go-where? Yes, this is the Canaries and it’s the more unspoiled, smallest and less visited of the seven islands which makes it all the more appealing.
Thing is though that they’re peeling off too. Billed as hippy and alternative there’s a clue there. Thing is though that the first post on Trip Advisor said that it’s half and half.
I can only imagine that it was a Swinging Sixties crowd of English that gave it its name.
I leave the choice to you but check out La Gomera anyway. Fly to Tenerife and then get a crossing is the best way to get there.
But if you do decide to go au natural, for goodness sake don’t leave your clothes on the beach. Visit http://www.lagomera.travel/en.
Let’s duck out of here
You’re quackers: With The Donald
Yes, I know any excuse. I’ll tell you what every time The Other Donald tweets something daft or puts us on the brink of war…. and I’m not forgiving him this week after his antics caused the rearrangement of my trip to Iran… then Ill put up a photo of The Real Donald.
And anyway American Sky has a great saving of up to €530 per family on a seven-night stay at the *4 The Grove Resort Hotel & Spa in Orlando, valid for travel before February 11 2021. This holiday now costs from €649.
This is a new resort, just a few minutes drive from Walt Disney World Resort and it includes a kids Surfer Water Park.
There are four on-site restaurants.
Based on two adults and two children sharing and return flights from Dublin with transfers and accommodation on a self-catering basis.
For Reasons Unknown Ronnie Vannucci Jnr tried to bat off the well-wisher who approached him at the Culloden Hotel, Holywood, Co. Down, and said that he was a delegate at a science convention.
But we were onto him or at least The Son and Heir and The Scary One were… and she let him know that I was their biggest fan.
I know I’ve drip-fed you this story but it’s just that the world’s greatest rock band who were playing up North are headlining Glastonbury tonight.
I’ve got it taped of course while I’m away in Barcelona but I expect they’ll be Wonderful Wonderful.
I’m not surprised that The Killers were staying at the Culloden. It’s only had a £750,000 refurbishment. Visit http://www.hastingshotels.com.
Two for you
… A double helping of Bandanaman today. Lourdes and the Pyrenees in The Herald and Star Wars Millennium Falcon: Smugglers’ Run at Disneyland Anaheim in the Irish Daily Mail.
