Everything is political in Northern Ireland, right down to the humble potato chip, or crisp, which is what is behind the clarion cry Tayto surrender or you’ll fry.
Not, of course, wanting to upset any Apprentice Boy.
And Orange Walk flautist or big bass drummer here you understand.
By putting an irreverent spin on one of their loyalist anthems which celebrates their community’s defiance against catholicism.
When back in 1688 13 Apprentice Boys locked the gates of the walled city of Derry.
And protestant stronghold from the advancing Jacobite force.
And held out for seven months with the loss of 4,000 people to starvation or injury.
Marching on your stomachs
Pretty grim then but a source of great pride to the protestant community.
They celebrate the resistance annually in Derry on 28 August with a big colourful Orange march.
When they oft-repeat the cri de couer of those lads ‘No Surrender.’
So what then has that to do with the humble crisp?
Well, the potato has long been more than just an odd-shapes dirty vegetable on the island of Ireland.
As it provided sustenance to the indigenous people of the island, the catholics.
When they were forced on to the poorer land by the invader Oliver Cromwell.
All of which had calamitous consequences when potato blight ripped through the country in the 1840s and early 50s.
With The Great Famine causing the death of a million people and the flight of another million.
The Crisp Schism
The importance of the potato in the Irish diet persists to this day.
In Irish stew and the Ulster favourite Champ.
And the potato chip, or crisp, with the Irish even claiming to have invented the Cheese & Onion variety.
Of course, this being Ireland, there just had to be a schism.
And that led to there being two different Taytos on the island.
The first of which, the Southern version, was set up by Joe ‘Spud’ Murphy, 70 years ago this year.
While two years later he gave permission to the Thomas Hutchinson family for the creation of Tayto (Northern Ireland).
Now the million dollar question, or actually million euro in the south and million pound in the north is what’s the difference.
Well, the southern original is sold in red, white and blue packets.
And the northern version in yellow and red.
And is oft called Free Staytos by the northerners, in reference to the old name of the Republic, the Irish Free State.
While the southerners refer to the northern version as Protestant Taytos.
Oasis v Boris Johnson
Now it all depends on who you ask and Liam Gallagher stands in the Southern camp.
Pitted against Rory McIlroy, Liam Neeson, Snow Patrol and, er, Boris Johnson.
So which is better?
Well, it is suggested that the northern Taytos flavour may be toned down but then that is a southern view.
As well as, of course, comparing for yourself and you can buy both in my Dear Old Mum’s homestead of Co. Donegal.
Variations on a theme
Then you can pay homage to your favourite Tayto in Ashbourne, Co. Meath.
And since 2010 it boasts its own theme park, now called Emerald Park.
With Ireland’s only wooden rollercoaster, in tribute to the legendary Cú Chulainn Coaster.
As well as an exotic zoo and a Native American village, and why not?
While northerners can visit their Mr Tayto’s home at his Tandragee Castle, Co. Armagh, though no theme park here.
Both the Mr Taytos wear boater hats and red jackets.
Although the Southern Tayto dons a black boater and yellow trousers.
And the Nordie a red and white hat and red troos.
Of course, this being the island of Ireland they say there is always an Irish solution to an Irish problem.
And while Donegal is on to something by offering, in places, both versions.
Ireland’s Call
So let’s hear less of the divisive language and the Tayto surrender or you’ll fry.
And let’s follow the lead of one of Derry’s favourite son Phil Coulter, he of The Town I Loved So Well.
With a cry of unity and respect for each other’s tradition and like on the rugby field answer Ireland’s Call.
