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My Budapest hovercraft is full of eels

8th March 202517th March 2025 funtime65

The Hungarian phrasebook has been updated since Monty Python days, not that there was ever the call to hear my Budapest hovercraft is full of eels.

Because for the next four days it will be the leisurely drift of pleasure liners out of my InterContinental Hotel window onto the River Danube.

All of which gets you in the mood for a swim and that is why my little mermaid has brought me here.

Only the blue Danube is for cruising and boozing and we will indulge… for research purposes you understand.

Now if the grand old river which winds majestically through the heart of Europe is the Hungarian capital’s artery.

Dip your toe in

Then the Szechenyi Baths are its beating heart.

With its 15 indoor baths and three outdoor pools, saunas, steam rooms, a rooftop spa greenhouse.

And one we’ll definitely sign up for is the 45-minute beer spa.

But that is for another day.

King of the castle

Having come in on the two and a half hour Ryanair red eye from Edinburgh.

On our loveholidays city break we need a reviving shower as we like them in the InterCon.

Before crossing the Danube from our Pest base for the Buda Castle.

Not that we’re recovered enough to tackle the heights.

Up, up and away

Instead we have that funicular in our sights.

And a goulash soup on the terrace and Magyar beer… we deserve it.

All served by the friendliest Hungarians, none of whom bristle when I say my Budapest hovercraft is full of eels.

We have come to Budapest from Edinburgh with loveholidays and Ryanair staying at the Intercontinental on the Danube.

For four days for £1,099.

Countries, Europe

Czech out just why Wenceslas was good

26th December 2024 funtime65

The snow isn’t lying about deep and crisp and even today in Prague but still let’s Czech out just why Wenceslas was good anyway.

And why we celebrate him this day, St Stephen’s Day, or Boxing Day, if you will.

Well, quite simply that’ll be down to his good deeds and December 26 traditionally being a giving day.

Most carol singers don’t get past the first verse but the gist is that he helps the poor man gath’ring winter fuel.

It was his USP and it’s why the Czechs, especially, love him.

As big as you get

Quite simply Wenceslas is as big as you get in Prague, alongside King Charles V of course, he of the King Charles V Bridge.

The story goes that if Prague is ever in danger the statue of King Wenceslas will come to life.

He will then raise a sleeping army and reveal a legendary sword to bring peace to the land.

Wenceslas, you see, is sleeping on a grudge, an injustice, a thousand years after being killed by his brother Boleslaus The Cruel.

So you see it’s not just your family, or mine, which has squabbles.

You can find Wenceslas these days in the mammoth St Vitus Cathedral where his remains lie and are venerated.

And, of course his statue in Wenceslas Square, the beating heart of Prague.

Velvet Revolution

You might wonder why he did not rise with his sword when the Nazis wrought carnage on the city.

Or when the Communists moved in and then in 1968 reappeared with their tanks to quell the Rising.

Wenceslaus was looking out though and not just on St Stephen’s Day but every day.

And sharpest between November 17 and 28, 1989, when Wenceslas Square became the cradle of the Velvet Revolution.

The Velvet Revolution

Writing on the wall: At the John Lennon wall

Now if you find yourself in Wenceslas Square today then lucky you.

But despite the carol, written by an Englishman, it is in fact just another day in the Czech calendar.

Although they are like the good king very giving.

There is, of course, a special day for Czechs, St Wenceslas’s Day, the country’s national day when he is celebrated, September 28.

Now, any time to visit Prague is a good time, but their national day, their Wenceslas Day could be a chance to renew my Czech connections.

And a further opportunity to Czech out just why Wenceslas was good… and toast their patron saint of beer with Pilsner Urquell.

And Ryanair with flights from Edinburgh, and likely your city, from €24.99.

Countries

Black Flyday

29th November 202429th November 2024 funtime65

The sky’s the limit when it comes to the November Friday giveaway and we have Black Flyday on our radar.

The national airline carrier as usual are front and centre with 25% off Aer Lingus flights to Ireland.

Book by midnight on Tuesday to save on Dublin city breaks, Wild Atlantic Way adventures and Belfast. getaways.

Low-fare Aer travel

And so from our nearest airport here, Edinburgh, you can reach the Irish capital from £36.99, Cork from £28.99 and Belfast from £41.99.

All each way as part of a return trip.

Of course, others of the Irish diaspora, namely the Son and Heir are in that emigree city in England… London.

And he and his pals jump on any opportunity to get back.

Particularly at £58.99 from Heathrow to Dublin, Shannon £42.99, the answer to your prayers in Knock £42.99 and Cork £63.99.

Ryanfare

Of course, every day is a giveaway day with everybody’s favourite low-fare air carrier Ryanair.

And Michael O’Leary is only offering a buy one, get one half price deal for Black Friday.

Again, we’re looking out for ourselves and our local airport from North Berwick, and that’s Edinburgh.

And of those deals under £40 we’re taken by our old favourites Bergamo with a basic fare of £37.99 and Dusseldorf, Copenhagen and Brussels at £36.99.

Book by close of play today for travel between December 1 and 16.

The offer excludes travel during Christmas period, December 18 and January 8.

Canaries take flight

And make it easy on yourself with the extra days on the EasyJet offer which ends on Monday at 11pm.

With up to 20% off flights and up to £200 off holiday prices.

We’re picking out Edinburgh to Tenerife and staying at the Laguna Park 1 for two people from £957 for the sample dates of December 6-11.

Or for the same dates try a 1 bedroom apartment with street view and balcony or terrace with TUI for the same dates s/c at Villa Mandi for £489.72pp

Now as you’re bombarded with Black Friday offers just a nod to our flight providers and Black Flyday.

MEET YOU IN THE SKIES

Countries, Deals, Europe

Keep the stag party revelry in Prague

27th October 202427th October 2024 funtime65

They stand out, as the likely lads wearing ‘I turned Philip Schofield’ did, so we want to keep the stag party revelry in Prague.

I’m one of those Brits, though not in that Pip tribute band, who has rolled down the Castle hill from Pilsener.

So I’m looking at the Praguers’ decision to place tramlines on the booze boys and girls in their city with a clear head.

Because let’s be straight which is something some boozed-up Brits aren’t.

Because while Czech cops will be out in force to disrupt pub crawls between 10pm and 6am.

With organisers violating it facing fines of up to 100,000 koruna (€3,983).

Fourteen hours should be long enough to give you that happy feeling.

Monks of the Castle

Such is the strength of the Czech beer too that you’ll not need nearly that long to gain the desired effect.

Now knowing to my cost from my own stag do back in Aberdeen 30 years ago it is advisory to line your tummy.

And that is exactly what Czechs do with their meaty hearty soups and stews.

Now if you want refuge from the Pip tribute band and their ilk then our advice would be to stay away from the centre.

And head uphill to the Castle.

And share your time with the monks of Strahov Monastery.

A beer habit

Founded in 1140, it has at its heart the church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

And the rare Strahov Library with a number of medieval manuscripts, maps and globes.

The Baroque Theological Hall, the Classical Philosophy Hall decorated with frescoes, and the Strahov Gallery.

Probably not on the bucket list for your stag party organiser.

Strahov’s best kept secret is of course its bar/restaurant.

Where I was fortunate enough to get the guided tour of the in-house brewery.

And I assure you I was on my best behaviour, smiling and nodding vacantly.

Because I’d drunk through three courses of Amber, Dark and IPA.

Food with that

With the food in this country where more people drink per head of population merely there to soak up the food.

That food being fine beer onion soup, dark lager beef goulash dumplings or pork ribs in beer marinade.

And even for dessert with Strahov listing…

‘Beer or classic ice cream according to a daily offer – made by Angelato from our beer’.

Oh Brother!

Now because stag parties aren’t exactly known for their monastic abstinence you’ll be free to enjoy your fare here in peace.

And good spirits with the monks, plain-clothed, who for all their disciplines draw the line at drink.

And they know better than any its strength and the volume they can consume (a lot)!

The interior of the medieval wine cellar is also available all year round.

While in the summer you can use the outdoor garden V Ráji with a view of the monastery vineyard.

The quest for solitude

They advise too a stay at the Questenberg Hotel with a standard room/double bed for €107.46.

So that’s us sorted while you keep the stag party revelry in Prague.

By sticking to the new drinking hours and avoiding those bank-busting bills.

Ryanair flies to Prague from Britain and Ireland from €67.28.

Countries, Culture, Deals, Europe

An extra hour to read in bed in Portugal’s book town

26th October 202426th October 2024 funtime65

And for the day that’s in it as we Fall back 60 minutes here’s where you can get… an extra hour to read in bed in Portugal’s book town.

If Obidos in Portugal Centro is the country’s literary hub then the Literary Man is its, er, centrepiece.

Where you’ll never want for something to read with the former convent housing 45,000 books which they claim as the biggest in the world.

All of which is good news for those who love to find a good read in their hotel when they’re on holiday.

Pull up a book

Of course with that many tomes then you’d expect an international selection and that is exactly what you get.

And cosy and salubrious surroundings to disappear into your read.

With a gin bar and a lounge with an antique fireplace to find yourself by.

The literary schtick extends to a novel-themed menu as well as the local Portuguese fare.

With only 30 bedrooms and we loved that you rolled just off your mattresses on to the floor then there is a real intimacy to the Literary Man.

Frighteningly good

Spook who’s about: Getting ready for Halloween

Now when we visited Halloween was very much in the air and characters were out in the town on force.

Hardly surprising as the 3,100 good folk of Obidos, just a 45-minute drive from Lisbon, are uber-bibliophiles.

And with more than half a million books inside the walled town then that’s 322 for each man, woman and child.

Ten years of the Obidos Lit Fest

The Obidos International Literature Festival marks its tenth anniversary next year, so pencil that into your diary.

A B&B overnighter in a standard room at the Literary Man for the sample date of December 7/8 retails at €119.81 with a local tax of €1pp.

Check out all major airlines for flights to Lisbon with Ryanair coming in at from €80.

And seeing you have more time today then worth combing through this.

And consider what it would be like to enjoy an extra hour to read in bed in Portugal’s book town.

America, Countries, Ireland, UK

John Bull’s Other Island and the Irish Teasock

11th July 202411th July 2024 funtime65

They’re just not playing ball… John Bull’s Other Island and the Irish Teasock.

How else to explain Irish ‘prime minister’ Simon Harris not being swept up in England’s march to Euro soccer glory?

Eminent Sky TV political interviewer Trevor Phillips dropped the ball (yes, it’s all footballspeak at the moment).

When he tried to chivy Ireland’s leader along in his discussion about the new British government.

By asking him what he thought of England’s progress in the Euros.

Taoiseach’s low block

Of course my old neighbour from my time in Greystones, Co. Wicklow, let Trev’s volley bounce back at him off his wall.

Now politicians and politicos trying to ingratiate themselves with sporting fans rarely works well,

Who can forget Rishi Sunak asking the Welsh public if they were excited about the Euros?

A Euros where Wales would not be playing but fierce rivals England were.

Political football own goals

God love them, they try.

But unfortunately our politicians still don’t see that the world no longer wants the sun never to set on their empire.

Or that they ever did.

To be fair, some Brits do take a stab at learning the lingo.

To try to blag that they know, and care, about what Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw called John Bull’s Other Island.

Like former British prime minister Liz Truss’s mangled attempt at pronouncing Taoiseach, the Irish name for their leader?

To be fair, it’s not Lettuce Liz’s fault that she’s not of the diaspora.

A Brit of Oirish

You can, of course, tell the true Brits in any airport heading to Ireland by their stag and hen Oirish merch.

And thankfully avoid them too by steering clear of their meeting place, the overpriced Temple Bar on the banks of the River Liffey.

Which, of course, I’m doing as I board my Ryanair red eye and head over for a catch-up with travel friends at the Shelbourne Hotel on Stephen’s Green.

It’s certainly one way to block out the hysteria greeting England’s arrival in the Euros final by our neighbours.

Biden his time in Ireland

Our talk with our American guests in the Shelbourne at the annual US Soiree in Dublin will doubtless be about their elections.

And being the wide-eyed liberals we will. Of course, be wildly sympathetic to Joe Biden’s travails.

And not mention his loose pass when he visited his ancestral home a couple of years ago.

And mistook the New Zealand All Blacks for the hated British regiment from the Irish War of Independence, the Black and Tans.

Of course, the Irish have such a love-in with America that they instantly forgave him.

Particularly as he was playing hard ball with Britain over a trade deal at the time.

And knowing that whatever his frailties he would always know about John Bull’s Other Island and the Irish Teasock.

Countries, Culture, Europe, Food & Wine, Ireland

Joyce lived la vita bella in Trieste

21st April 202321st April 2023 funtime65

James Joyce lived la vita bella in Trieste and began charting Leopold Bloom’s course there.

Probably eating crispy frico lollipops, Toc’ in braid, Spring asparagus orzotto and soft frico bites on a roasted polenta tartlet.

While he put Dublin fare and choice words in the mouth of Leopold.

The inner organs of beasts and fowls, thick giblet soup, nutty gizzards, a stuffed roast heart, liverslices fried with crustcrumbs and fried hencods’ roes.

While most of all Joyce tells us ‘he liked grilled mutton kidneys.’

Pinocchio’s by a nose

Thankfully the good folk of Trieste had the senza to showcase their city in an Italian setting at Pinocchio’s in Temple Bar with best Italian fare.

With Friuli Venezia Giulia chef Manuel Marchetti creating pizzas especially for the occasion.

With toppings consisting of San Daniele Prosciutto and alpine smoked ricotta.

And for dessert, creamy tiramisù, a dessert born in Friuli Venezia Giulia, and Strucchi (no us neither but was gorgeous).

Grazie Ryanair

Using Joyce as an entry point Trieste presented the new Ryanair seasonal route.

Available twice weekly until 28 October, with one-way fares start from €19.99pp.

And how Giacomo Joyce as he styled himself in Trieste could have done with a low-fare airlines then.

Portrait of Trieste

Joyce had taken a circuitous route to Trieste where he penned A Portrait Of An Artist As A Young Man.

To take up a job as a tutor to a young girl Letitza, daughter of Jewish writer Ettore Schmitz.

Whom it is said he based Leopold Bloom around.

With Joyce also so smitten with Ettore’s wife Livia that he remodelled her as Anna Livia a representation of the River Liffey.

Alongside which today’s tourist hub and stag and hen central Temple Bar flows.

Vino de vici

As indeed did the Italian wine. No Leopold Bloom glass of Burgundy ecco grazie on Pudding Row.

No, Ireland’s greatest author. Si, si… it was how Joyce lived la bella vita in Italy.

Countries, Europe

Happy Eva after in Algarve

24th January 202324th January 2023 funtime65

She was a restless spirit, a TV health expert with wanderlust whose travel needs were entrusted to me… so I’m glad she’s finally found her Happy Eva after in Algarve.

Straight-talking Dr Eva Orsmond made a name for herself with her honest appraisals of contestants on RTÉ’s Operation Transformation.

But our paths only crossed when il capo di capi, no not the Scary One but the bubble-permed CEO of my company, deigned to seek me out on her behalf.

To ask me to organise a week’s 5* holiday in the sun for her and her mum at four days’ notice… and all gratis.

And yes, it was one of those offers you can’t refuse.

Well, you know what they say about making a rod for your own back.

Moroccan stroll

I called around my contacts and four days later the bould Eva and mum were heading off for Morocco.

Of course, my work wasn’t finished there and I had to call on all my editing skills.

To extract out of her a story for my award-winning Travel section beyond the mechanics of food recycling… her own recycling.

As you know I normally like a challenge.

And I managed to prise out of her the tale of Ireland’s scariest diet doctor and the only woman she reported to… her Mum!

My mercy mission complete I kept my head down in the hope that Eva’s compo holiday would sate her.

And I could get on with the rest of my job.

Eva’s back

Only Eva had a hold on the CEO and I worked for the Man, the Bubble Perm Man.

And so a few months later she came asking again… only my options of France, Spain or Turkey didn’t appeal.

With Eva saying she couldn’t possibly go to one of those (I can’t remember which) because it held unhappy memories for her.

Eva has naturally gone off my radar since returning to Scotland after my 13 years in Ireland.

Next port of call

Only for news to come my way that she has only found a hotspot which she doesn’t need a Travel Mr Fixit to sort.

Her own establishment in Algarve, a place we love, is the Solar Alvura Health Hotel.

The blurb tells us it’s ‘a destination for transformation (channeling her breakout show).

‘The health hotel offers a welcoming environment that enables visitors to unwind, reset, and turn their health aspirations into tangible results.’

And the woman herself says: ‘We believe in creating a relaxed atmosphere at Solar Alvura.

‘Where you can meet like-minded people, experience an array of fun activities, and feel inspired to embrace a healthy lifestyle.’

Fare play

Nestled between the stunning coastline of the Eastern Algarve and Sao Miguel Mountain, Solar Alvura is adults only.

The elegant health hotel located a thirty-minute drive of Faro Airport.

The Solar Alvura Health Hotel will re-open on 10^th February 2023.

And you will be under strict orders to transform yourself when you’re there.

And find your happy Eva after in Algarve.

Fly Ryanair from £26.

America, Countries, Flying, UK

Fly me, I’m Norse, London to New York

27th May 2022 funtime65

And for those of us of a certain age they’ll remember Fly me, I’m Freddie, and Laker Airways… and fly me, I’m Norse, London to New York is the latest plane on the transatlantic runway.

It is no exaggeration to say that Freddie Laker’s Skytrain revolutionised the skies.

When he burst onto the scene 45 years ago, and brought the world to the common man and woman.

Because we wouldn’t have seen low-budget carriers Ryanair and EasyJet unless Freddie had boldly gone before.

We’ll dip in and out of Freddie’s legacy here but the trigger for revisiting transatlantic travel is the launch of Norse’s £200return fares from London to New York, from August 12.

Bjorn again

Norse Atlantic Airways are going where Norwegian Airlines and others have gone before.

And they are being powered by former Norwegian Airlines boss Bjorn Tore Larsen.

Larsen said: “We are very pleased to now be able to welcome customers looking to book great value flights between London Gatwick and New York JFK.

“Customers now have an affordable option allowing them to book a last-minute trip or a holiday of a lifetime with an airline that offers choice and flexibility.”

Now I didn’t have first-hand experience of flying Norwegian Airlines.

Although I have flown a plane into JFK on Turkish Airlines’ flight simulator and very near landed on the runway?

I did send a colleague over for a Norwegian Airlines flight overnight and a Christmas shopping mall trip.

Overnighter to NY

All of which the bould Eoin did manfully and returned bleary-eyed.

Although not I can recall with anything for the kind editor who had sent him.

That aside, and back to low-budget transatlantic flights.

And Freddie’s story is a familiar one across all businesses.

Where a new competitor brings the prices down and the more established operators follow suit.

And the consumer is a winner but the price war puts a strain on the bottom line and ultimately not everyone can survive.

Amid the fall-out new entrepreneurs come on stream, low-budget airlines return and find their place in the market.

The legacy

And that is why we have Ryanair and EasyJet today.

There are challenges, of course, fuel increasingly burns more and more money.

For those who want to make a living flying us long distances.

So yes, we’d support more choice and competition in the air and say Fly me, I’m Norse, London to New York.

And we are looking forward too to them opening up other transatlantic destinations.

Asia, Countries, Deals, Europe

Here We Goa Cristiano

30th December 202130th December 2021 funtime65

Here We Goa Cristiano. Ronaldo, R7, has been put on a podium in India’s Portuguese outlier.

Yes, we’ve been here before, with statues a bit of a hobby horse of mine.

Funny, because there are too many of these with empirical British generals and not enough of the gee-gees themselves.

Although racecourses are the exception.

And who else would have pride of place at Aintree, Liverpool, home of the Grand National than Red Rum?

Cristiano Ronaldo, of course, is a football thoroughbred who his native Portuguese have had on a podium for years.

All of which our tour guide par excellence Jose Madomis made clear early in our visit to Portugal Centro.

Although The Scary One has never knowingly been told who she should defer to… Signore Ronaldo or Mourinho.

The first statue

The Portuguesers know his value, of course, and closer to God is He.

As I found out when I saw his beach towel for sale among all the Our Lady mini-statues in the Marian site of Fatima.

And while Cristiano is lauded on mainland Portugal he is venerated in Madeira, the island off Africa, where he was born and raised.

And where the first Cristiano statue went up.

Cristiano Goanaldo

And we’re thinking here that this coastline region of India is made for Cristiano.

We don’t know if in fact he owns any of it but needless to say he should be able to afford a good bulk of it.

Vasco da Gama, named after the explorer, is its capital.

And with its Portuguese culture and architecture you’d be forgiven for thinking you were still in Iberia.

For those who like to mark landmarks (guilty!) next May 30 sees the 35th anniversary of Goa becoming India‘s 25th state.

Get us there

All major airlines fly from the UK and Ireland to Madeira, it takes 3 hours and 40 minutes, and our old friends at skyscanner quote £46 with Ryanair.

And we’re advised that TUI provides direct flights from London Gatwick to Goa for a return from £551pp for February.

Here We Goa Cristiano.