You’d be forgiven for thinking it’s members only at the Icelandic Phallological Museum but the truth is they welcome all shapes and sizes.
Iceland hosted England yesterday in the European Nations League for the first time since they shocked the world.
By beating the Three Lions 2-1 at the 2016 European Championships.
Now football is not the same without the fans.
And the Viking Army was sadly missing in Reykjavik, the Icelandic fans lighting up the European Championships with their Thunderclap.
Which isn’t a transmitted disease but the ritual applause which they bestowed on their favourites.
Back to the Phallological Museum now.
And for the very odd dedicated few who continue to follow England to the ends of the Earth.
Even if they have to self-isolate and can’t even get into the game…
Well, the Phallological Museum, oh heck let’s just call it the Penis Museum, is an attraction that is open for visitors, though with restricted hours.
So what do you get?
It’s the bollocks
The big knobs at Team Phallus boast (and, yes this is a subject where you do boast) that their museum contains 215 penises.
And penile parts (we’re imagining bollocks here and maybe foreskin, soz).
In their bumph they dazzle us with numbers (and again this is currency in this field).
With 56 specimens from 17 different kinds of whales (who knew?)
One from a rogue polar bear, and that you’d think would be thin from all the rubbing their paws together to keep out the cold.
And 36 from the seven different types of seals and walrus.
And 115 from 20 different kinds of land mammals.
The museum also considers itself fortunate to have received legally certified gift tokens for four specimens (whatever that means) belonging to Homo Sapiens.
That’s you and me!
It’s probably just as well that the masses of England football fans aren’t there.
Stand up if you’re England
Yes, they’d probably pack the place out but then you know football fans they’d probably want to prove their manhood.
Although I doubt they’d measure up.