You can’t live with them… you can’t leave them behind on holiday. Your kids.
One of the biggest stress points on holiday is the need to entertain your children.
Which does not come cheap.
I mean you have to feed and water them, and they’re not like plants, these guys are always grazing.
I’ve no evidence for this but I think boys are worse.
I remember well one city break in Rome when we were on a tight schedule.
And had to be at the Vatican for a tour of the Raphael Rooms by a certain time.
When the Son And Heir decided, nay demanded, that he get fed.
Not just a pezzo either (a small piece of pizza) on the go, but a sit-down two-course meat dinner and dessert at a trattoria,
And don’t think you can turn to Herself. She’ll always support Him.
So when I anxiously looked at my watch and opined that if he didn’t hurry up I’d gladly throw him in the Tiber…
She told me to stop making a scene and that people were watching.
Now we could be in Outer Mongolia and She would still be worried that people’s first concern was our business.
And so when we arrived at the Vatican She decided that she was no longer in the mood.
And I had to plead to every one of those saints to intercede and get her to change her mind.
Hence the forced smiles here in the photos.
So, what to do with kids?
Leave them behind with their grandparents. Yes, if you’ve enough capital good will.
But if you HAVE to bring them with you then don’t think the Kids’ Club will save you.
The idea of kids as fun-loving, gregarious and societal is for the movies.
Mostly they are sullen, complaining and suspicious of little Johnny or Mary, or, these days, Jaydon and Meghan.
But don’t despair, there are solutions at hand.
One I’ve written about recently and make no apologies in returning to is Hotel Magnolia http://www.themagnoliahotelqdl.com and The Campus in Quinta do Lagohttp://www.quintadolago.com in Portugal.
And I’d bet the kids will take to the sport of paddle, a cross between squash and tennis.
There are an abundance of sports camps out there.
They will tire out your kids and you might just get time to yourselves at the bar at night.
Alternatively why not try a cruise?
Anybody who is new to cruising is always taken aback by their size.
Which means kids get a chance to run around aimlessly which is one of their favourite things to do.
And being limited by where they can go because there’s an ocean out there then they won’t get lost.
And there is helpful staff to tell you where everything is on the ship.
The permanent access to food takes away that headache.
While they’ll be in and out of the pools all day, they’ll love things like the Royal Caribbean FlowRider on Oasis of the Seas.
And the water chutes and ziplines.
Choose from Royal Caribbean http://www.royalcaribbean.co.uk, Celebrity Cruises http://www.celebritycruises.ie and MSC http://www.msccruises.ie for good clean family fun while I’ve roadtested the Princess Cruises’ OceanMedallion http://www.princess.com magic key.
And I reckon it would open up a magic kingdom for me.
And here’s a few trips to get you in the mood https://jimmurtytraveltraveltravel.com/im-a-celebrity-get-me-out-to-here/ https://jimmurtytraveltraveltravel.com/the-call-of-the-fjords/http://A Royal Party
While of course every Tuesday is Cruiseday Tuesday. Here’s the latest offering https://jimmurtytraveltraveltravel.com/2019/08/20/cruiseday-tuesday-transatlantic/ and me as Medallion Man https://jimmurtytraveltraveltravel.com/2019/07/30/cruiseday-tuesday-the-princesss-medallion-man/
So that’s the kids sorted out… now for an even bigger challenge.
NEXT WEEK: WIVES