I must have been one of the very few kids in Glasgow to be lullabied to sleep with old Republican songs… and because of that and my own journey I’m an avowed internationalist republican which is why today I say Vive La Republic of Barbados.
Now you’ve heard me wax lyrical already many times about the magical island of Barbados and my Kiss With Rihanna and Rumba there.
And Bim, as it is affectionately known (hence me being known on the island as Bim Jim) is the talk of the Scottish and British Travel scene with the Bridgetown route rolling out from Edinburgh next month.
Now to celebrate Barbados becoming the latest country to throw off the shackles of monarchy and go out on their own, here’s to all those nations who have taken their destiny in their own hands.
And decided to be governed by one of their own.
Now a true republic, just like a true democracy or a true anything these days in double speak, is a moveable object.
But you’ve got to start somewhere which is why we’re going with 160 (now Barbados have signed up).
All republics lead from Rome
And if you know you’re Classic History, and my Latin is better than my Ancient Greek then you’ll know that republic derives from the two Latin words res and publica (public thing).
So that’s one of the famous things that ‘the Romans did for us’ although, of course, if you’re British then it’s an experiment from which we’ve run far away.
Apart, of course, from a brief period from 1649-1660 when these islands of Britain and Ireland entered into a Commonwealth which was really a theocracy.
But while Westminster claims to be the mother of all parliaments (doubtful, and Europe’s oldest in Iceland might have something to say about that).
It’s Rome which is the mothership of all republics, and we have the good fortune that the Forum, the hub of Roman public life is still there.
No fools those Ancient Romans though with their togas as I found out when I almost fainted in the Eternal City heat in my modern clothes.
An Italian fixture
Venice: And let’s catch a gondola back to Padova
Now where Rome led the rest of Italy followed.
And chief among them was the 1100-year Venetian Republic which still styles itself thus and is hewn into every gondola and the very bricks of the Campanile.
Florence, Siena, Amalfi, Pisa and Genoa all saw what the Doges were doing and how fetching their hats were and followed suit.
But the republicaniest of all the republics and the longest-standing is San Marino.
And so what they lack in football skills (0-10 v England) they more than make up for in their political skills.
La Republique, mais oui
Je suis L’Empereur: Napoleon
Ah, yes, the French. like so much, would have us believe that they are the shining light of Republics.
So much so that they have had five of them ever since Corsican Napoleon got le ball rolling.
Notre ami soon decided though that L’empereur sounded so much better…
And he did that with one arm behind his back (or affectedly tucked in his jacket then).
It must be a poncey royal thing because the UK’s Prince Charles who very graciously decided to attend the signing-over papers to the Bajans (and bag himself some sun at the time) does pretty much the same thing.
And on a tangent we’ll not say anything about the carbon footprint, Prince Save The World.
None of us are perfect, of course, it’s just the rest of us don’t bleat on about it and preach to the rest of us who do hop on planes.
Middle Ages and Middle Europe
Can I be trusted on a bike? In Amsterdam
The breeding ground for republics in the Middle Ages was what we now know as Germany.
And a quick count chronicles 62 in the northern European powerhouse.
All of which would be a good exercise and excuse to traverse modern-day Germany with a Michael Portillo type notebook.
I’d have to start in my favourite German city Hamburg first of course.
There are some who have gone the opposite way to the Bajans and jumped from republic to monarchy like the Dutch.
Others who have had a brief dalliance with republicanism, Catalonia, and still have hopes of a return to those halcyon days.
Battle hymn of the Republic
Southern men: At the statue of Stonewall Jackson at Manassas
Yes, their eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
And while the North eulogised its Republic, the South too held its close to its bosom, albeit for just five years.
That said the Confederate States of America still exist in the hearts and minds of many in the Deep South.
And you don’t need me to tell you that that was the first battle of the US Civil War.
Post-colonial
Cool for cats… in the Eastern Cape, South Africa
There were, of course, a rash of republics in the post-colonial world which is where Barbados join us now.
While in Africa and Asia the cry went up for the ‘public thing’ which alas all too quickly became the ‘dictator thing.’
And because of these precedents it ratchets up our hope that the South African Rainbow Nation experiment proves successful despite its challenges.
And the USSR and its satellites
The voice of Dresden: With Ingrid in Dresden
Dogmatic ideologists, of course, think nothing of hijacking the word republic for something that looks nothing like it.
And hovering up previously self-governing nations, which is where Russia came in and formed the bloated Union of the Soviet Socialist Republic.
Unless I find me a time machine a trip back to those days will inevitably elude me, although that’s where museums and heritage come in.
And you can still immerse yourself into the spirit of those days on any trip out there.
Which is exactly what you get when you visit the old DDR.
Now we all know of the Berlin Wall and Checkpoint Charlie but more of us should visit the mural to communism which stands as a reminder of Russian misrule and occupation in Dresden.
Irie, Barbados
It’s a republic, now: With Ruby in Barbados
And so good luck to the incumbent President of Barbados. Sandra Mason, incidentally also the last governor-general.
Vive La Republic of Barbados.
I’ll raise a glass of rum punch to you on the official date of handover tomorrow.
Which is a shared holiday, Barbados’s National Day, and Scotland’s too.
In Scotland, Barbados: Honest
And until my own native land becomes a republic (I’m not holding my breath) I’ll. mark yours, and America’s and France’s.
And the whole lot of you, 160 or so, who have taken the revolutionary step of deciding that you wanted to be ruled by someone of the people.
No me neither, nor the singers Clifton Webb, Dorothy McGuire and Jean Peters who each sang the titular song.
But anyone who has ever been to the Trevi Fountain in Rome will either hear someone singing it there while throwning coins over their head into the water.
The beauty of a good song is trying to recreate it in your bedroom which is what hairbrushes were made for, although Patrick Swayze’s quiff just came naturally.
If it’s horses you want then the Palio di Siena on July 2 andd August 16 is a horse of another colour.
The Palio like all traditions in Italy has its origins in religion with the first running of the bareback race in the mid-1600s in honour of the apparition of the Virgin Mary.
Oh, Frankie: Frankie Dettori
The jockeys are kitted out in the colours of their districts, the Contradas of Siena as they race around the square.
Our friend Frankie has his English subtitled in the promotional video which is something Scots and Irish have become used to over the years so our sympathy.
Wait for it
For the women (and the men) it’s not what Frankie says but how he says it anyway, and how he looks and the background of Italia.
But wait for it, Frankie’s pay off is Italia Wait For It. And we will.
And for many a parent the go-to Christmas present for kids (and maybe vice-versa) was a football top.
My most memorable was, and this is pertinent in a week when we lost Diego Maradona, La Albiceleste.
Or the sky blue and white stripes.
Truth was that my attempts at long hair never came close to the chic cool of the hero of that year’s World Cup, Mario Kempes.
And physical evidence still exists in a picture album of a rather angst-ridden teen standing by the tree.
In truth I hadn’t asked for Argentina and would have preferred the Dutch shirt.
And I did rue the day I left the World Cup winners’ top behind in a changing room.
So in recognition of Diego and also to flag up a very good cause comedian Mark Watson’s Kitmas appeal for donations of old football tops here are my five faves.
Which will, of course, draw you to these countries.
Dutch of class
Argentina and the Netherlands in the World Cup final in 1978.
The Netherlands: And it was probably just as well that my parents didn’t give me the Dutch top in the Glasgow of the Seventies.
Because an orange top is identified in Scotland with King William of Orange and the Protestant team Rangers.
And that wouldn’t have gone down well in my Catholic school.
Thing was though that as an eight-year-old and uncluttered by such nonsense I was dazzled by that colour.
And the Netherlands of Cruyff and Krol.
And I did manage to blend in with the Oranje Army when I treated the-then Miss F to a night out.
Amsterdam to Rotterdam where the Dutch beat the Greeks 1-0.
Portuguese man of awe
Team of all talents: Portugal in 1986
Portugal: And while it’s mostly always the top you get sometimes you need the whole shirt and shorts ensemble.
So that Portugal‘s red top with the addition of green shorts becomes the Portugal flag.
Our guide Jose Madomis told us from the off that Portugal in the days of the dictator Salazar was run on Football, Fado and Fatima.
So much so that among all the stands of Our Lady merch in Fatima you’ll find the Portuguese shirt and Cristiano Ronaldo towel!
Moroccan roll
Green is the colour: Morocco
Morocco: And not just because they were Scotland’s last opponents in the finals of a major competition, a 3-0 defeat in 1998.
But because of the lengths I went to to get myself a Morocco top
On my travels in Marrakech. I picked the green one rather than the red.
Where I got roped in by a trader after some pointless bartering.
To buy his threadbare top off his stall for more than its worth.
Which set in motion a tragical mystery tour from Jemaa el-Fna around the souks.
And that was just the start of my rocky Moroccan roll.
Roman holiday
Hotti Totti: Roma legend Francesco Totti
Roma: And we’re still waiting to get to see the Gods of calcio after Dad here promised the Son and Heir a match only to forget his passport.
But we did get a Giallorossi (red, more of a maroon, and yellow piping) top snd pencil case.