And that’s another reason to explore the five other boroughs… for example Staten Island, Brooklyn and Queens.
American cycling dream
While when you do do Manhattan and The Bronx I’d recommend walking tours and here’s where you can get a start Old New York: Hamilton. And www.nycvb.com.
Look at the space you have to cycle
California is all about the outside life where cyclists don the latest fashions and pose on their two wheels.
It’s the footwork, dahling… turn your toes in. And keep the hands open, and dahling, trust your partner.
I half expect to see Craig Revel Horwood sitting opposite, giving out and holding up a 2.
Thankfully I’m not being judged on my dancing but my tennis by my mixed doubles partner Judy Murray.
Yes, that Judy Murray, tennis supercoach, mum-of-two Wimbledon champions, and just as importantly in our house a Strictly Come Dancing legend.
Europe’s new four ball: John and Jim
Judy has had half an eye on Ashley, Faye, Lauren, Stacey, Joe, Charles, et al this series.
A message from you, Judy
Only half an eye though as her main focus has been making tennis players out of the flotsam collection of wannabe racquet tyros I’m assembled here with.
In the new Campus sporting development in Quinta Do Lago in the Algarve.
Judy is running a series of tennis coaching lessons for young and old, good and bad, studious and messers, which, er, would be me.
That cow’s still got his name on it
In my defence her starter hooter was too inviting not to play keepie-uppie with.
Judy, though, as well as being very good at sport is a very good sport and even allowed me to waltz her around at the end.
Tennis and squash’s child
Another very good sport and one that you won’t have heard so much about is padel which is more popular in the Iberian Peninsula than tennis.
Former rugby international Max Evans who with soccer great John Terry took to the game on a trip to the Algarve, describes it as the baby that tennis and squash would beget.
And wash it down with some Portuguese vino
Played to the same scoring system as tennis, the big difference is in the non-string bats, the underhand serve, the fact that you can play off the side glass walls.
And, dare I say it, that it might just be better fun than tennis.
Judy’s work done, she gets a deserved breather. Me, I’m off to bother the gold pros.
Team of all talents
For four days I will have a team of experts tasked with trying to make an athlete of me, just as they can for you too.
With a Paralympian legend: Me and Brian Rohan
The professional at the Paul McGinley Golf Academy shows off the latest golf technology, tracking machines, sensory guides et al.
It can turn the most ordinary club member into a Rory or a Tiger, or at least on the odd shot.
If you concentrate that is.
But there’s always one messer who gets distracted.
Water trap: Have a chip with your dinner
In this case drawn to Paul McGinley’s buggy from when he captained Europe to Ryder Cup success at Gleneagles.
Ryder Cup glory
There’s a good reason why the big boys and girls in our party get to play The South Course, one of three Championship courses here at Quinta do Lago, while yours truly is kept to the driving range.
I do get to drive me a buggy, though not Paul’s Ryder Cup cart, which sensibly is kept where it is.
And I get to see the course, safely for me and the golfers, or at least that’s the plan before the boy racer in me kicks in.
My boat comes in
And I cut up the buggy in front and almost drive into the lake that skirts one of the greens.
I dare say I would have come up with my pockets bursting with stray golf balls.
Maybe I’ll fare better on two wheels.
Ride on
Quinta do Lago means Farm by the Lake and Quinta is at great pains to keep human athletic exertions and the natural world in perfect harmony.
Or a dip after your lunch
The Ria Formosa reserve which runs parallel to the course, is more geared to Shiny Ibises and Spoonbill birdies.
And yes, get off your bike, get your binos out and you really will see these fascinating birds scoop up their prey with spoonlike beaks.
I’d like to say I planned my disembarkation but the truth is I took one sandy corner too many and too sharply in my obsession to lead the party.
Hungry work
Eyebrows may have been raised as to my suitability to go back with the sensible ones on the roads, but hunger called.
The new mixed doubles
That hunger was sated as it invariably is in these parts by the harvest of the seas.
The world literally is your piscine pleasure in Portugal and no fish is safe, so I felt not a pang of guilt in devouring Dory’s pals, the lobster, prawns, clams, seabass both here at the island restaurant Casa do Lago at the Campus.
And more of that later.
For golfers, there is a green in the water for diners to shoot at but it was wisely out of bounds for us on the day.
If the Scotland manager is watching
The appeal of The Campus is its infrastructure and expertise.
Why else would it attract Premier League side Burnley, Champions League winners Olympique Marseille and Rio Ferdinand who runs a soccer camp.
Paralympic champion
While Irish Paralympian, road race great Brian Rohan runs The Bike Shed, which is so much more than just that.
Ask him kindly and he might even let you hold one of his Olympic gold medals.
And I’ve got my goal celebration sorted
Of course when it comes to sport we’re all of us experts, and so my last night was spent at a sports bar where I watched THREE soccer games simultaneously on the big screens (and who said men couldn’t multi-task?).
I’d like to say all the games were thrillers but I was in my element all the same.
Dancing Dad
I was tackling (cleanly) a chicken casserole for two, to soak up the beer you understand, while exchanging sporting trivia with my Portuguese hosts.
I was less good at the Halloween pub quiz I have to admit but always back myself against any Dancing Dad when the house band appears.
Get the yoga in
There’s always a price to pay of course for revelry and that is invariably a sore head the next morning.
Magnolia drive
Yes, the art deco style Magnolia where we are staying specialises in fixing that too…
The Mag burger, beef, bacon, cheese and lettuce burger and fries, with a special peppery sauce.
The secret of which the Chef, naturally wasn’t sharing, and a pineapple, OJ, coconut and SPINACH smoothie.
Are you watching Craig Revel Horwood?
I felt invincible again and was ready to show off to my new No. 1 fan with my moves, a dive into the pool (yes, strictly against the hotel rules).
But nobody was watching apart from Judy Murray that is.
Because I’d often be deep in rough when my playing partner was down the fairway – yes, golf is the best sport for social distancing.
And also because nothing makes you want to keep your distance more than having to listen to your boss on the course talk about his share options or his new car.
Ir’s not that I dislike golf, or professional or amateur golfers. In fact I used to cover golf.
And was happy to revisit the Open when it returned to Northern Ireland www.discovernorthernireland.com last summer for the first time in neatly 60 years.
And even joined the legendary Gary Player around Royal Liverpool, Hoylake, as he played a round of golf for Japanese television.
North Berwick
It’s just social golfers that I try to avoid like the, er COVID-19.
Not the social golfers like my Dear Old Mum and Dad, you understand, who used to play on my Dad’s half-day.
The Golf Coast
Not that my Dad seemed to enjoy it all that much… he’d mutter away to himself and shake his head all round.
There was little that my Dear Old Mum and Dad liked better than playing golf in my Mum’s homestead of Co. Donegal www.visitdonegal.com and www.tourism.com.
While my old stomping ground of Co. Wicklow www.visitwicklow.com is more than a match.
If you like your golf then join me as I swung my way through…
Which is where the greats from Motown from Aretha to Whitney started out and how cruise ships https://www.celebritycruises.co.uk put on entertainment.
I’d missed the old gospel choir in Memphis after I had to get the early-morning connection back to Europe.
But we were greeted to Christmas songs in an antebellum house turned B&B (and Deep South B&Bs are actually country houses). Visit https://www.deep-south-usa.com.
It’s a reality check… and the big sports shutdown means that, without Virgil Van Dijk and Liverpool to watch, we’ll have to go to sports games for our fix.
Now video games have come a long way since we were using solid bars to knock square balls over solid line nets… we called it tennis.
And it was a Christmas present I’d pestered my parents for for weeks only to lose interest in it before the new year.
So where does this bring us as far as our travels… well, it’s to flag up games which we can play online.
And practise our chess skills, card-playing and scrabble craft for when we can get back on the road playing away.
Chess: And it’s those stone tables we see in parks.
And when we went to New York on a family holiday on the Halloween before Barack Obama’s election…
We ended up playing chess in McArthur Park with a dude who claimed to have been Bobby Fisher’s regular opponent back in the day.
When you’re in New York’s parks do me a favour and look for Alexander Hamilton… see www.nycvb.com.
Now keeping to the subject matter of games you can play by yourself (now keep it clean).
Play your cards right
Cards: After all, the plan is to get out to Las Vegas again this year for the American Travel fair.
It was obviously the command of the angles I’d learned at that old video game.
Home run
Baseball: The 40-minute daily DART train journey from Greystones, Co. Wicklow to Dublin would drag.
And even allowing for the beautiful seaside vistas I would find myself perfecting my home runs.
So that the guys at the Washington Nationals didn’t have to tell me how to grip it and rip it when I got in the batting cage… www:washington.org. And Easy DC.
Our countries have become more assimilated culturally.
But back in the early Eighties I was baffled by the hand-held computer game my New York cousin Eddie was playing.
Touchdown
American Football: Where they only kick the ball to start and restart and to convert.
And where success is measured in territory gained, like warfare, which their players are togged up for.
My old friends at Aer Lingus www.aerlingus.com have been sponsoring a biannual American College Football game at the Aviva Stadium.
Which we (me, the Scary One and Daddy’s Little Girl) attended although I’m not sure it held the wife’s attention as deep into the third quarter she asked..,
‘Are you allowed to throw the ball forward?’
Me? The best bit about American Football is the cheerleaders, and I have my own Bandanettes. See Go West and www.denver.org.
Slam dunk
Basketball: Breaking into the sports desk in my first job in Reading in the south of England I covered what were seen as minority sports.
I didn’t get myself to an NBA game on my travels to the US but picked up the talk from the TV on early-morning chat shows and pub talk.
Anne Frank, Amsterdam: ‘Nothing is off limits,’ a former newspaper colleague chimed in when I tried to steer morning conference back from an insensitive area.
And a lot of journalists like to paint themselves as hard-bitten and cynical… as if detaching yourself from feeling will help you present the story!!!
The words of the young Anne from her diary of life i. Hiding in an Amsterdam attic and her idealistic dream that she might one day become a journalist choked me.
Judy Murray, Quinta do Lago, Portugal: Now, I wouldn’t swap my Irish mum for anybody but if I had had a Scottish mum I’d have wanted her to be Judy Murray.
Of course that would age her and Judy, as well as being as athletic as a teenager she is also just as mischievous.
The tennis coach was quick to say that we weren’t to ask about her famous sons Andy and Judy…
Marilyn Monroe, Los Angeles: Who wouldn’t have wanted to lie with Marilyn.., though maybe not now.
Although Hugh Hefner had no such qualms (funny that) and bought the drawer next to Marilyn Monroe in Los Angeles so he could rest with her in perpetuity.
Because the previous time, 23 years earlier, when there was a fork in the cycling route and we ended up going 10kms out of the way.
Then there was the adventure of 13 and a half years in Ireland with The InterCon… what a Ledge! a particular highlight.
Mum Champagne
Get a grip
My first holiday companion… I was in her belly en route to her homestead, Co. Donegal https://visitdonegal.net and we’ve been back countless times.
Latterly when I would take her up from my home in Co. Wicklow.
On one occasion I was tasked to drive her and my Auntie Ronnie who was grieving her husband, my Uncle Tom, up from Dublin… in Ronnie’s automatic sports car!!!
My Mummy… and just as old
Then when I accompanied her to New York https://www.nycvb.com/about/ for my cousin’s wedding… and suddenly I was back to 12 years old again.
Now there are only good memories… from the time in England’s Lake District https://www.golakes.co.uk when she asked me to find a friend for her.
To a family camping trip in Co. Wicklow https://visitwicklow.ie… when she was nine and she swigged from my whisky flask and claimed that she thought it was tea!
With my trekking pal Big Jim Gallaghet
There was no pretence when we attended a cocktail night at the Dylan https://www.dylan.ie…
Well, she is her Grannie’s grand-daughter… and don’t even get me started on the other Grandma, the storied Bamba.
*And now I’ve got started I’ll move onto my heroines from my own personal Travels.
With a Paralympic champion in Quinta do Lago
Me and Cami with the long blonde hair
We might not get tomorrow 
Sarong but oh, so right
